Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 8, 2026
If you must suffer fools, do so with a vengeance.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 1, 2026
I’ve come to believe that the brand statement of Global Consumerism is “Fuck you, Consumer.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 15, 2026
If the Royal Family has enough sense in their inbred brains to support the arrest and subsequent punishment of the Andrew Formerly Known as Prince, then American leaders ought to have equal sense to investigate and punish the other Epstein-related offenders. Or, at the very least, admit that American Power is too insulated for true justice to ever have a chance at prevailing and own up to being a criminal enterprise. Something far worse than being inbred. (Though, probably not as bad as being married to Meghan Markle.)
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 8, 2026
People who post personal or political opinions on LinkedIn are the same people who walk into crowded elevators and fart. “I’m living my truth and everywhere is appropriate for me to do whatever I want.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 1, 2026
“Stop, look, and listen” is great advice for crossing the street, but it also applies to entering a new job, a new relationship, a new… well, anything. Best to learn the lay of the land before you go reaping and sowing, lest your efforts be met with extreme distrust and petulant resistance.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 18, 2026
Chicagoans are tough. How tough? We can survive a double-digit sub-zero winter day with our kids at home when schools close due to the freeze. That’s how tough.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 11, 2025
If you ever need a pick-me-up, come over and let my 3-year-old serenade you with a song about poop and trucks.
C:\garbage\takethisjob.exe -shoveit
What kind of bored, unread, over-measured, automaton signed off on this AI-generated dreck? Job-hiring isn’t human resources, it’s resourcing our brain’s data to power the click-clacking of computer keys so the boss can feel good about doling out over-taxed bonuses that hardly represent the bonus time you gave the company.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 4, 2026
Remember on Sesame Street, how Bert was, like, really into pigeons? The fuck with that guy? Pigeons. Pigeons!? I think there was a gas leak in that garden apartment of his.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 14, 2025
If you’re not feeling the Holiday Spirit, turn on Elvis’ Christmas album. That’ll do the trick. Every time. Guaranteed. Try it. You’ll thank me. You’ll thank me very much.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 7, 2025
Never give up. Don’t stop, just start. That’s the trick. The hardest part is starting. Genius only comes to a running mind.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 30, 2025
Your life is not what you make it. It is what life lets you get away with.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 16, 2025
How many parents use the drive to school as an opportunity to educate their young children about the impact of Snoop and Dre’s masterpiece “Ain’t Nuthin’ but a G Thang?” Just me? Dope.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 9, 2025
Kids who had race car beds probably grew up to work in finance with an inflated ego, a coke habit, and wildly premature ejaculation issues. But for that moment in third grade, they were gods.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 2, 2025
NSFW playlists are key for getting through the workday.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 26, 2025
Divorce, serious relationship breakups deal a rough hand. If you play your cards right, your ex can help you be a better version of you. The perk of which is that you’re a better partner in the next relationship. It’s that whole, learn-from-your-mistakes thing. The bonus perk is that it makes your ex wonder why you couldn’t have been this awesome when you were together and causes them to question their entire existence.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 19, 2025
Life/career coaches are former white collar, middle-management cubicle jockeys who would call AAA to replace a flat tire, but are like, “My car broke down on the side of the road. I’m a mechanic now!”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 12, 2025
A vacation is only as good as the number of times you have diarrhea. And like in golf and arguments with a know-it-all, less is more.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 5, 2025
My 3-year-old son walked around the house this morning referring to his penis as a volcano. That’s a new kind of B.D.E.
Anger at the Airport
You know what I hate most about this guy? He looks calm. Maybe his spirit animal is a duck. Maybe he’s working his chubby ass off under the surface. I admire the calm appearance. I am never calm. I am always one moment away from a hateful panic of fury. I do not belong among the dullards of basic, normal men. I am in constant need of a lobotomy or an alien abduction. I don’t belong here. Everything is terrible and the Matrix is fucked. Also, The Matrix is a stupid movie. Its sequels are even worse. I’m in the minority on this opinion, which proves my point.
If you must suffer fools, do so with a vengeance.