Doom & Poon
She said, “You bring the poon, we’ll bring the doom.”
She was always down for trouble.
Always in some kind of it.
The Adorable Little Antichrist
Her fury, her hurt, her fear and shame was pure focus. She dug deeper into her legs. The blood began to run down her thighs, soaking through her dress and forming a small puddle in the pew.
The Fault in Our Party Supplies
I’m a piñata. Papier-mâché and crepe paper. My inner turmoil bred of my fate occupies the same space as fun-sized candy. Twizzlers, Nerds, Airheads, nougat and chocolate that melts and cools with the humidity in the back of a party store.
A Beer, a Shot, a Mayoral Hopeful
The men rushed toward the open door. “Not so fast, fuck-os,” she said. Annie was a small woman, no more than five-foot-three with most of her weight in her disproportionate breasts, of which she often complained gave her backaches.
Hell in a Handbasket
Before she was Jane Hadley, the rock ’n’ roll singer/songwriter—the Goddess of Rock, bigger than Taylor, Adele, and Beyoncé combined, she was Jane Hadley, the folk ’n’ roll singer/songwriter who never sold more than a thousand albums and a few hundred t-shirts.
The Ultimate Decision
He was tired of carrying her weight. Her financial choices and responsibilities. Her alcoholism. And he knew she was tired of his drug abuse and laziness and porn addiction. And Train played. And the guy kept talking. “Thing is, man… if it weren’t for divorce, I’d have student loans.”
The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker
Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.
Hazy, I Pee, Eh?
Life comes clearer on a hot, hazy summer day.
Sunburnt shoulders hunched from carrying the weight of the world
And the weight of your child and his laughter.
Conversations with Whores
Old men with cheap cigars talking to half naked women, who can’t waste too much time with one guy because it’s all about turnover. Beyoncé was playing on the jukebox and it sounded out of place. Hip-Hop didn’t belong there. It was too cool for what was really going on.
Hagatha the Dog Witch
Hagatha, upon arriving in Chicago, had developed an allergy to cats. She tried Zyrtec, Claritin and Allegra, and all the potions and spells in her Witch Craft: Curses & Remedies book. Nothing helped. Her eyes watered, which made her face melt a little.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 5, 2026
It’s hard not to think that Swifties are secretly rooting for a divorce within seven years. Think of how incredibly mediocre that album will be.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 28, 2026
Earn the nap; don’t just take it.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 21, 2026
Nothing will humble a confident runner like multiple steep hills.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 14, 2026
It’s not about getting over things; it’s about getting through them.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 24, 2026
The legacy of Michael Jackson is complicated. But his music simplifies it.
On Turning 47 | Giving Myself Permission to be Myself
I give myself permission to be a living, breathing, learning, failing, succeeding, complicated human being. For if I don’t, there’s no point in celebrating a birthday.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 17, 2026
Mastering disappointment is more productive than villainizing it.
The Collective Fall from the Rise of the Elite
When we prioritize profit without considering the human influence, we run the grand risk of ruining people’s livelihoods. And that will always have a trickle down economic effect. But not in the way Reagan intended.
A Big Night Out with the Micro Maidens
When one thinks burlesque, what comes to mind is seductive choreography, feats of sexual prowess, a nod to yesteryear’s pinup girls, sirens pulling you into a subdued desire with their slow and calculated gyrating hips and arched backs. A peep show, a strip tease for the well-mannered crowd. Micro Maidens is not that. Micro Maidens is an aggressive strip club with pasties. But for the brave, adventure-seeking type, it’s big fun.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 3, 2026
It’s easy to misconstrue something you hear or read. Do better by doing the harder work. Pay attention, take your time. And trust that the hard work really isn’t that hard.
She said, “You bring the poon, we’ll bring the doom.”
She was always down for trouble.
Always in some kind of it.