Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 18, 2026
Chicagoans are tough. How tough? We can survive a double-digit sub-zero winter day with our kids at home when schools close due to the freeze. That’s how tough.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 11, 2025
If you ever need a pick-me-up, come over and let my 3-year-old serenade you with a song about poop and trucks.
C:\garbage\takethisjob.exe -shoveit
What kind of bored, unread, over-measured, automaton signed off on this AI-generated dreck? Job-hiring isn’t human resources, it’s resourcing our brain’s data to power the click-clacking of computer keys so the boss can feel good about doling out over-taxed bonuses that hardly represent the bonus time you gave the company.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 4, 2026
Remember on Sesame Street, how Bert was, like, really into pigeons? The fuck with that guy? Pigeons. Pigeons!? I think there was a gas leak in that garden apartment of his.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 14, 2025
If you’re not feeling the Holiday Spirit, turn on Elvis’ Christmas album. That’ll do the trick. Every time. Guaranteed. Try it. You’ll thank me. You’ll thank me very much.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 7, 2025
Never give up. Don’t stop, just start. That’s the trick. The hardest part is starting. Genius only comes to a running mind.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 30, 2025
Your life is not what you make it. It is what life lets you get away with.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 16, 2025
How many parents use the drive to school as an opportunity to educate their young children about the impact of Snoop and Dre’s masterpiece “Ain’t Nuthin’ but a G Thang?” Just me? Dope.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 9, 2025
Kids who had race car beds probably grew up to work in finance with an inflated ego, a coke habit, and wildly premature ejaculation issues. But for that moment in third grade, they were gods.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 2, 2025
NSFW playlists are key for getting through the workday.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 26, 2025
Divorce, serious relationship breakups deal a rough hand. If you play your cards right, your ex can help you be a better version of you. The perk of which is that you’re a better partner in the next relationship. It’s that whole, learn-from-your-mistakes thing. The bonus perk is that it makes your ex wonder why you couldn’t have been this awesome when you were together and causes them to question their entire existence.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 19, 2025
Life/career coaches are former white collar, middle-management cubicle jockeys who would call AAA to replace a flat tire, but are like, “My car broke down on the side of the road. I’m a mechanic now!”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 12, 2025
A vacation is only as good as the number of times you have diarrhea. And like in golf and arguments with a know-it-all, less is more.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 5, 2025
My 3-year-old son walked around the house this morning referring to his penis as a volcano. That’s a new kind of B.D.E.
Anger at the Airport
You know what I hate most about this guy? He looks calm. Maybe his spirit animal is a duck. Maybe he’s working his chubby ass off under the surface. I admire the calm appearance. I am never calm. I am always one moment away from a hateful panic of fury. I do not belong among the dullards of basic, normal men. I am in constant need of a lobotomy or an alien abduction. I don’t belong here. Everything is terrible and the Matrix is fucked. Also, The Matrix is a stupid movie. Its sequels are even worse. I’m in the minority on this opinion, which proves my point.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 28, 2025
You are immortal until you’re not.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 21, 2025
Some people just can’t be helped. They can’t help choosing to play the martyr, the victim. It’s fine to eventually let these people drown in the rough sea of their own making. The trick is saving the poor souls they might bring down with them.
The Implications of Not Walking Faster
Excuse me. Can you please walk faster?
Don’t you have some place to be?
At least move to the right. Let me pass.
No, I’m not in a rush, I just have things to get to today.
I don’t mean to be rude. But you’re taking so long and holding up the flow of traffic.
It’s not just me. Look at that lady in the surgical boot. She probably has an appointment with her orthopedic surgeon. You’re keeping her from receiving healthcare. Are you Mitch McConnell? Who’s rude now?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 14, 2025
As we get older, moving and shaking becomes hard on the hips.
Celebrating a Bygone Wedding Anniversary
September 10, henceforth, shall be known as the Day of Broken Promises. It’ll be recognized as the day we all make promises none of us will keep. Because what is divorce if not a reneging on promises made to the person you once loved more than anyone else in front of all the runner ups?
...that, as we age, good footwear is more important than a girlfriend.