David Himmel 8/16/19 David Himmel 8/16/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 11, 2019

If I am to die shrouded in suspected criminal activity, promise me you’ll refer to me by my three names and only by my three names. “David Isaac Himmel, the alleged political assassin and box wine bootlegger, spent time as a teenager in the Ozark Mountains hunting squirrel and shooting old Pepsi cans with a .30-30 muzzleloader. He was also really good at driving stick shift in San Francisco.”

David Himmel 8/2/19 David Himmel 8/2/19

Notes from the Post it Wall | Week of July 28, 2019

I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but driving to and/or through Chicago’s western suburbs is an emotional drive through the deepest and darkest pools of my depression.

David Himmel 7/26/19 David Himmel 7/26/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 21, 2019

At this point, everything that happens in Stranger Things’ Hawkins, Indiana is just a pretty typical oddity.

David Himmel 7/12/19 David Himmel 7/12/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 7, 2019

The wonder we experienced in our youth is not lightning in a bottle. It is, however, a very specific kind of wonder that is no longer sold in stores or available through Amazon.

David Himmel 7/5/19 David Himmel 7/5/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 30, 2019

Sesame Street needs a Hasidic Jew character. Could be a Muppet, could be a human. Yes, there’s Oscar the Grouch and Julia the Autistic, but to truly represent an individual who complains and struggles with a break from routine, a Hasidic Jew is the best you’ll get.

David Himmel 6/28/19 David Himmel 6/28/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 23, 2019

Phrases like “not to mention” and “ who needs no introduction” written or said leading into an introduction are completely false statements and make no sense in any context they’re used. They should be removed from our language patterns completely. It goes without saying that these phrases and others should not be used ever again.

David Himmel 6/21/19 David Himmel 6/21/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 16, 2019

I would take the innocence and ignorance of youth over the guilt and wisdom of old age.

David Himmel 6/14/19 David Himmel 6/14/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 9, 2019

If someone asks you to not yell at them and you respond by yelling, “I’M NOT YELLING AT YOU!” you’ve revealed your true intentions.

David Himmel 6/7/19 David Himmel 6/7/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 2, 2019

Does Elmo go to school? Because I wouldn’t mind seeing that little red monster take a bullet in a school shooting.

David Himmel 5/31/19 David Himmel 5/31/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 26, 2019 — Birthday Edition

The best part about having a birthday as a married man is that for twenty-four hours, you’re 100 percent guaranteed that your wife won’t look at you like you’re a stupid idiot. It’s the best gift any happily married man can receive.

David Himmel 5/24/19 David Himmel 5/24/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 19, 2019

Clocking in at 3 a.m. when the bit of work is the last thing on your day’s to-do list couples a sense of mania with the feeling of awesome productivity.

Then again, how effectively productive were you if you’re going to be wrapping your day up at 5 a.m.? Putz.

David Himmel 5/17/19 David Himmel 5/17/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 12, 2019

It’s not just men who are ruining things for women. It’s also the women who agree with the men and support them. Selfish and mean behavior is as fluid as gender itself.

David Himmel 5/10/19 David Himmel 5/10/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Adventures from the Bucktown-Wicker Park Library Edition

The man sitting in front of his computer loudly spoke into his phone. “Define debauchery.” I answered. “Yelling at your phone in a library instead of typing the word into your internet browser.”

David Himmel 5/3/19 David Himmel 5/3/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 28, 2019

Those who make their birthday a month-long celebration are greedy, self-centered, and obnoxious.

David Himmel 4/26/19 David Himmel 4/26/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 21, 2019

Avoidance is also a great tool to use when constructing your happy life. Save your energy for your art and raising your children to be kind, but funny people.

David Himmel 4/19/19 David Himmel 4/19/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 14, 2019

• Two things I’ll never do:
1. See the Notre Dame Cathedral pre-fire
2. Have sex with a virgin

David Himmel 4/12/19 David Himmel 4/12/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 7, 2019

Easter was canceled. They found the body.

David Himmel 4/5/19 David Himmel 4/5/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 31, 2019

Here’s a new term that must be incorporated into our lexicon: “Momsplaining.”
Momsplaining
/ˈmomˌsplāniNG/
noun INFORMAL
the explanation of something by a woman, typically a mother, and typically to a man such as her husband or boyfriend, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing (ironically enough).
SYNONYM: Wifesplaining

David Himmel 3/29/19 David Himmel 3/29/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 24, 2019

Jussie Smollett’s face as he spoke to the media after the Cook County State’s Attorney dropped all charges against him struck me as way, way, way more smug than that of the MAGA hat kid.

David Himmel 3/22/19 David Himmel 3/22/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 17, 2019

According to a New York Times and Morning Consult poll, parents are so involved with their children’s lives that they’re killing the kids’ life skills. We don't want this for Harrison. And this is why now that he's one year old, he'll be wiping his own ass. And mine. Furthermore, he'll be able to rig a sailboat and navigate the health insurance marketplace by kindergarten.