Don Hall 6/25/18 Don Hall 6/25/18

I Believe… [Don't Underestimate the Machine]

...that the reason TrumpCo went ahead and treated immigrants at the border like animals in cages was to distract us while they tried to roll back Medicaid. Underestimating these assholes is exactly how they got in there in the first place.

David Himmel 6/25/18 David Himmel 6/25/18

Historical Ignorance and the Slow March to a Great (Fascist) America

We’ve seen all of this before. It begins with a grievance.

We’re marching along toward our inevitable fascist, totalitarian end. And we’re marching either because we’re lying to ourselves that it’s OK or we’re too stupid to know better. I’m betting it’s the latter. Because Americans aren’t stupid. Americans are mighty and supreme. Americans are pure and good. That is, until we’re not.

And perhaps we never were. Look at history. We were never that New Colossus.

This is not hyperbole. This is history.

Don Hall 6/24/18 Don Hall 6/24/18

No One Masturbates to C-SPAN But Maybe They Should

Elizabeth Harper 6/23/18 Elizabeth Harper 6/23/18

Chicago Pride

The 49th annual Chicago Pride Parade is tomorrow, Sunday, June 24. The parade starts at noon at Broadway and Montrose. The international theme is "REMEMBER the PAST, CREATE the FUTURE.”

David Himmel 6/22/18 David Himmel 6/22/18

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of June 16, 2018

If you don’t know the difference between Fake News and an egregious journalistic error, you are too stupid to read the news. Instead, turn on HGTV, subscribe to The Pioneer Woman Magazine and keep your head up your ass.

Don Hall 6/22/18 Don Hall 6/22/18

Chasing Our Tails: The Russian Hackers Knew Us Better Than We Thought

We laugh because dogs, while often more intelligent than we think, aren't as intelligent as we want them be nor as savvy as those fucking dogs in the movies.

Many dogs never get the urge to chase their tails and, if you've ever tried to teach one that does you understand the near impossibility of it. The dog that chases its tail is blind to the distinctions.

Why do dogs chase their tails, though?

Contributing Writer 6/21/18 Contributing Writer 6/21/18

American Shithole #21 — Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III: Feckless Runt

I know there are some liberals out there that have been hanging on to the idea that if progressives just get a little quieter, the problem will go away. I love you, but no, it won’t. You need to get angry, motivated, and involved.

Kari Castor 6/21/18 Kari Castor 6/21/18

On Being Wrong (And Admitting It)

Back when I cast my vote for George W. Bush, I was 21 years old, voting in my first presidential election. I was wrong about a lot of shit back then.

I’m probably still wrong about a lot of shit now. Though less, I hope, than when I was 21.

Joe Janes 6/20/18 Joe Janes 6/20/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Space Force – USS Trump 1776-D Emergency Officers Meeting

Our mission is to avoid strange new worlds. To seek out new sources of income. To boldly stay great.

Don Hall 6/20/18 Don Hall 6/20/18

My 600-pound Bowl of Cheesy Fear

Snickers Bar = 250 calories
Two Pop Tarts = 400 calories
A plate of Curly Fries = 600 calories
Wendy’s signature Apple Pecan Chicken Salad = 570 Calories

Christ - even Fast Food salads pack on the shit like duct taping clay to your ass.

Contributing Writer 6/19/18 Contributing Writer 6/19/18

Hook Me Up

They say meeting through friends is a good way to meet someone worth dating. So, I started telling everyone I know I'm looking for a relationship. My boss, my co workers, my dry cleaner. I want everyone to know I am on the hunt and looking for something serious, so they can send me their cute and eligible guys.

And it worked. My dry cleaner, Helen, had someone for me. She said he was cute, responsible and has a job! Done. We had a date set up that Sunday.

Contributing Writer 6/19/18 Contributing Writer 6/19/18

Required Watching: "The Galapagos Affair: Satan Comes To Eden"

The movie is a template of what makes a good historical documentary. The filmmakers were fortunate enough that all the settlers brought film and journals. All of whom at some points get very candid with their entries.

Don Hall 6/18/18 Don Hall 6/18/18

I Believe… ["Unapologetic" is a Pass For Being an Asshole]

…that there is a razor's edge of difference between being "unapologetic" and being a narcissistic shitstain. Being confident in oneself and refusing to apologize for sucky behavior are not the same thing.

Mike Vinopal 6/18/18 Mike Vinopal 6/18/18

Noble X - Episode 2: New Month's Eve

Slow rise chimes open John’s eyes at 6:00am. His body aches as if he was jumped the night before. There was no respite in sleep as his vivid dreams seemed to be saturated in his waking pain. Bizarre imagery and distorted vignettes, played out by his subconscious, made the rest feel less than soothing. But alas he had logged a few winks and it was time to report to work.

The feeling of dread has been a daily occurrence. He showered and prepped for another day at school, dwelling in how frustrated he had recently become with the new job, spread so thin over too much bread, needing to be everywhere at once. John fantasized about cloning himself to do a better job for his kids. It broke his heart a little bit every time when he couldn’t be there when each of them needed him. Juggling all their individual schedules had really taken a toll on him mentally.

David Himmel 6/17/18 David Himmel 6/17/18

To My Son, I’m Sorry You’re Reading This

Boy, that headline sounds like the first line in a suicide note. No, no, Harrison, my son, this is not a suicide note. It’s an apology letter. Or an explanation. Maybe a clarification. I’m not sure what your mother has told you, or what you’ve already heard or read, but I feel it is imperative that you have some background, context really, on what you may have already heard or read, or undoubtedly will.It's only right that a son knows who his father is — the kind of man his father is.

Sponsored Content 6/16/18 Sponsored Content 6/16/18

Loose Chicks Featured Chick: Rita Balzotti

Check her out at our next show:

June 22, 2018

8pm @ Emerald City Coffee, 1224 W Wilson Ave, Chicago, IL

Elizabeth Harper 6/16/18 Elizabeth Harper 6/16/18

Dad

You called me "rebel with a cause.”

David Himmel 6/15/18 David Himmel 6/15/18

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Father's Day Edition

Seeing your infant son play Slap the Bag with your wife’s breast is pretty damn funny.

Don Hall 6/15/18 Don Hall 6/15/18

The Surveillance State Made Personal: Why Everyone Should Have a Body Camera

Contributing Writer 6/14/18 Contributing Writer 6/14/18

American Shithole #20 — Vacations, Part One: Camping Is For Masochists

It’s not a vacation if what you are doing is indistinguishable from survival training. Preparing for the coming apocalypse by eating baked beans straight out of a can is not a vacation.