Jenni Thurston 6/14/18 Jenni Thurston 6/14/18

I Wouldn't Give a Shit if Mark Died

Hi. I’m Bob. Mark was my big brother, and I distinctly remember realizing one day that I wouldn’t give a shit if Mark died.

Joe Janes 6/13/18 Joe Janes 6/13/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Historic Greatest Really Huge Better Than Obama Deal Of The Century Everyone Says So Where’s My Nobel Peace Prize You’re Welcome Trump/Jong-un Summit

Phil the Translator: Anything for you, President Trump. Our glorious dictator appreciates you treating him like an equal. You know he has killed people, right? A general who fell asleep during a meeting. Even members of his own family who didn’t agree with him.

Don Hall 6/13/18 Don Hall 6/13/18

The Many Golden Calves of Consumptive Behavior

Being a society founded almost entirely upon the idea of consumption, we are bound to be disappointed. Consuming creatures only thrive when there is more. Always more. Consistently more.

Anonymous 6/12/18 Anonymous 6/12/18

My Father Was Not Fred Rogers.

I don’t begrudge his disappointment. It is, in fact, reasonable.

To both their credit they have only ever loved their daughters. And I am hard to love.

Don Hall 6/11/18 Don Hall 6/11/18

I Believe… [Parts and Motivations Unknown]

…that Anthony Bourdain left this realm with the same guts and bravado as he did in life. On his own terms and in his own time. We may not understand the reasons but not knowing shouldn't lessen our respect for the life he led and lessons he learned and shared.

Roberta Miles 6/11/18 Roberta Miles 6/11/18

Solicited in a High Class Geisha Club

“I think you are being inappropriate, sir. Please leave.” Then I picked up the closest ashtray and clocked him.

Jenni Thurston 6/9/18 Jenni Thurston 6/9/18

Real Life Ghost Stories: Things The Cat Can't Do

There is hardly a person who can’t claim to have experienced something that seemed supernatural. Even the hardest sceptic can have difficulty explaining away certain occurrences.

David Himmel 6/8/18 David Himmel 6/8/18

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of June 3, 2018

The best way to get a feel for a city you’re visiting is to walk it. Pick a destination without a timetable and walk. Duck in to things you find worth ducking into. Read commemorative plaques. Do something touristy but do as the locals do, too. Just do it while walking. Unless it’s cold or rainy. Then run.

Mike Vinopal 6/8/18 Mike Vinopal 6/8/18

Noble X — Episode 1: Cowardice & Heartbreak

It was his personal winter of discontent. The New Great Depression was on the horizon and just over that, the New Renaissance awaited. John was on the brink.

Contributing Writer 6/7/18 Contributing Writer 6/7/18

American Shithole #19 — 500 Days of Bummer

Healthier people are unfortunately happier people; and happy people don’t fear the bogeyman. For obscene wealth inequality to work, billionaires need lots of bogeymen — and of course, lots of terrified poor people.

William Arnett 6/7/18 William Arnett 6/7/18

Cake Decorator: Artist or Specialist Retailer?

What professions are or aren’t due the full freedom of artistic expression?

Joe Janes 6/6/18 Joe Janes 6/6/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Masterpiece Cakeshop Employee Meeting

Jack: I don’t hate gay people. I just, as per my religion, don’t think they should marry. I have no problem with gay people being gay and doing lots of things that normal people do. It’s like when a monkey wears a hat and pretends to be talking and acting like a human. I think it’s cute. But I also don’t think monkeys should marry.

David Himmel 6/6/18 David Himmel 6/6/18

Why Worry When You can Sail or do Whatever Makes You Happy

And I realize that not everyone is as fortunate or privileged as I am. Not everyone has a Boat Rich daddy. But everyone should find the thing that gives them the kind of calm joy sailing gives me. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Don Hall 6/5/18 Don Hall 6/5/18

The Most Beautiful Thing Anyone Had Ever Heard

The city is a giant fishbowl of sound.

Don Hall 6/4/18 Don Hall 6/4/18

I Believe… [A Cake By Any Other Frosting]

…that there's a reason that the wealthy are most often portrayed as the villains in popular culture and it isn't envy. It's reality. If your motivations in life are a soup of individualism, competition, and materialism you are the villain.

Paul Teodo 6/4/18 Paul Teodo 6/4/18

Fat Louie the Butcher

Fat Louie the butcher had thick arms. Short and covered with hair. A bloody apron draped over his barrel chest.

Elizabeth Harper 6/3/18 Elizabeth Harper 6/3/18

#MyChicagoBookstore Adventures on Independent Bookstore Day, Part 3

I swear I do not binge-shop all the time. But in a sense it’s a good thing, because it means I found a lot of books that were interesting to me. It’s good to be interested in something. Also, they have super good deals and discounts at Open Books. And their sales support their literacy programs.

Elizabeth Harper 6/2/18 Elizabeth Harper 6/2/18

#MyChicagoBookstore Adventures on Independent Bookstore Day — Part 2

Usually I wouldn’t spend so much time and money on a shopping spree. I don’t usually go on shopping sprees at all. But how much do sports tickets cost? How much do poets make compared to people who play on professional sports teams? With all the people supporting sports and bars and sports bars, maybe it’s alright that I spent a little on books in bookstores. Maybe poetry needs its fans to give it some love and team spirit like those other sports get.

David Himmel 6/1/18 David Himmel 6/1/18

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of May 28, 2018

Samantha Bee calling Ivanka Trump a cunt is not funny. That’s because it’s not a joke. I never thought Samantha Bee was all that great at telling jokes anyhow. But it is totally reasonable to call Ivanka Trump a cunt. Bee shouldn’t have apologized. Saying sorry because Big Viacom said to do so is a real cunty thing to do.

Elizabeth Harper 6/1/18 Elizabeth Harper 6/1/18

#MyChicagoBookstore Adventures on Independent Bookstore Day — Part 1

I bought my books, after pulling out a random piece of paper with the amount of the discount I would get. I got my #MyChicagoBookstore passport and got that stamped. Of course I brought my own bags to wrap and carry my books in. I took a moment to get myself get organized and think about my plan of attack and then left Volumes to walk to my next destination.