Chris Churchill Saves the World | America is a Country of Losers — Part I
America is a country of losers. It’s not and an insult. It’s and observation. I love America so don’t ask me to leave it. I simply observe that our great nation, The United States of America is made up of losers and the descendants of losers.
The Sales Gene and Why I Don’t Have It
I get it. Most of capitalism is driven by sales. Most sales are made by people selling things and ideas. The time-share thing here in Vegas. The guy on the street-corner with the spinning arrow sign trying to get you to come into the third-tier mobile phone store. The kid with the box of candy to raise money for his basketball team. All some variation on the theme of non-stop, unwavering sales.
I Believe… [Women Are Not Baby Farms, You JagStains]
…that one of many paradoxes presented in modern American society is the odd confluence of overpopulation run rampant, the decrease in financial aid and paid time off for young mothers, and the bizarre desire to force women to have babies they either don’t want or can’t care for. For fuck’s sake, get the priorities in line — if you want women to be baby farms at least pay them for it or get out of their business…
Dialog on Survival
5G? Ah, me!
I need my tree.
It cannot be.
But why? I ask.
It blocks the task.
A Mother’s Day Ode to MILFs
Make no mistake, mothers,
you’re doing great.
You’re better than you think.
So try not to get yourself down
Because what you’re doing isn’t easy
but you’re the best person for the job.
And, um, that ass!
Those boobies!
Both Rock AND Roll is Required
It is my armor. Against the ravages of time and heartache and failure and despair. Attitudinal armor. Protection from self-pity and feeling small in a world of wars for oil, politicians spouting horseshit non-stop and the constant drumbeat of the the Big Countdown Clock. A layer of badassness that fights back the feeling that, as I get older, I'm simply going to lose everything I ever held dear and everyone I ever loved because that's just the way it is. My Captain America shield. My Bat Cape. My resolve to never allow the World to beat me.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Adventures from the Bucktown-Wicker Park Library Edition
The man sitting in front of his computer loudly spoke into his phone. “Define debauchery.” I answered. “Yelling at your phone in a library instead of typing the word into your internet browser.”
Being Reminded that You are Disposable isn’t Fun but it’s Necessary
George Bailey wasn’t special. He was, on most faces of it, a real loser. That’s why he decided to end it all — he was a failure from the lens of post-modern success. Clarence didn’t change his mind, he shifted his perspective away from himself to those who surrounded him.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | The Misguided Art of Defending Misguided Art
I’ll admit, I used to love both Bill Cosby and Louis C. K. I truly thought they were good guys who were simply commenting on life’s foibles and the shortcomings of the human male.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Queen Daenerys Targaryen Strategy Meeting
Your father wanted to Make Westeros Great Again. Cersei just hates foreigners.
When Mice Roar and the Rest Assume They’re Lions
My senior advisor, Tom Restivo, pulled me aside one day and said “You know, most people in the school don’t support your causes. You know that right? It seems like you think that you’re constantly on the side of right but, even if you are, without the backing of a larger group of students, you’re never going to get algebra credit for the Math Team.”
The Many Shoes of Marty Smith
I remember her,
when we were very little,
walking so fast,
my sister and I
struggling
to keep up,
in those high heels,
clicking on the sidewalk,
not waiting for traffic lights,
leaving us far behind,
trying to catch up.
She could dance
in high heels,
even The Charleston.
I Believe… [Cosplayer is an Identity, Too]
…that identity may be a kind of expertise but it is only an expertise in being oneself. The desire to tribe up and gain power through identifiers is a strong one but using your culture, skin color, gender, sex, or political leanings is absolutely no different than identifying as a cosplayer, a foodie, or a sports fan.
Happy National Active Shooter Drill Day!
Reminder to our Employees…
This coming Tuesday is our National Active Shooter Drill Holiday!
We’ve got SO many fun and informative activities planned for this year’s ASD Day!
The World Is Now Your Therapist, So Have a Cheeseburger
Have you seen the new Emo Burger King ad?
I do not love the idea that in an age where nuance, humor, and snark are taken so literally that the perpetual class of whiners will take this as yet another permission to unload their emotional trash on the streets for all to see. Yes, it’s important to avoid stuffing your bad feels down under the sofa like dogshit you can smell but can’t find, but there’s a reason therapy is usually done one-on-one in a private office.
Life Hacks in The Pursuit of Surviving the Leap from the Cliff
Now new to the Mojave, I’ve had to come up with a few new hacks to make life just a bit easier, the transition a bit smoother.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 28, 2019
Those who make their birthday a month-long celebration are greedy, self-centered, and obnoxious.
Book Club Made Me Read It | The Changeling
And holy shit if this book had ended right there, I’d be writing a very different review right now. The vibrancy of their early relationship with each other, the slow creep of horror as things become more and more wrong in the Kagwa-Valentine household, the awful question of whether Emma might actually be right, the visceral brutality of the final scenes… It works. It’s good.
American Shithole #56 | Bill Barr: Bringing the Bar Down a Notch
As I watched the barrage of questions our representatives dutifully prepared, and the ease with which a professional litigator of Barr’s caliber deflected them, I realized that the dream of America as the land of the free and the home of the brave, is nearly dead.
look there instead
look here, they say,
but no; i want to look there,
my focus firmly fixed upon things
not so crowd-gazed.
look there with me —
glistening, intricate mosaics
painstakingly crafted
in the arches of the museum stairwell,
unnoticed in the upward or downward rush
to view the expected.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.