A Mother’s Day Ode to MILFs
Make no mistake,
your bodies are amazing things.
It’s incredible to think that short and sticky terror running around the produce aisle
with poopoo soaking through his pant leg
came out of your beautiful, perfect body.
How you developed that toddling sack of sass and silliness
in your bikini-ready belly
is a true marvel of nature.
And how you fed the babe — or tried to — with your breasts
we once thought were there merely for our teenage enjoyment…
Wow. Just wow.
You wipe the noses and stop the tears.
You keep the schedule despite your fears
that you’re doing it all wrong.
That you’ve not done enough
and will never be the mom you long thought you could be.
Make no mistake, mothers,
you’re doing great.
You’re better than you think.
So try not to get yourself down
Because what you’re doing isn’t easy
but you’re the best person for the job.
And, um, that ass!
What’re a few stretch marks?
That kid did you a solid.
Your bodies are amazing things.
And we’re totally DTF
when you’re not so worn out from motherhood.