Elizabeth Harper 4/20/19 Elizabeth Harper 4/20/19

Bender

More and more I understand wanting to go on a bender
Get away from it all
Away from all the stuff that needs to be dealt with
All the petty, mundane, routine, inconvenient,
never-ending, time-consuming minutia of daily life

David Himmel 4/19/19 David Himmel 4/19/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 14, 2019

• Two things I’ll never do:
1. See the Notre Dame Cathedral pre-fire
2. Have sex with a virgin

Chris Churchill 4/19/19 Chris Churchill 4/19/19

Diet Plan for People Who Don’t Move

And you wanted to get skinny, this year! How come that strong, construction worker at he oasis is carrying a whole bag of “Donette Gems” to his car and he’s not fat yet?

Why come that is?

Anyway, look at yourself. Fat. Me too. You should see me. I tripped on my pecs this morning and here I lay on the bathroom floor, writing for Literate Ape (which takes absolutely no talent or energy; just the ability to ignore loved ones).

David Himmel 4/18/19 David Himmel 4/18/19

The Earth is Flat and Not Everyone Dies

Yes, lots of people have died. But we can’t say for certain that everyone dies because everyone hasn’t died. If someone lives long enough they could live forever.

People dying is just a tool of Big Death.

Joe Janes 4/17/19 Joe Janes 4/17/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | South Texas Family Life Choices Legal Clinic

All I’m asking is that you consider other options. Think about it. Take your time. Come back in ten, fifteen years and tell me how you feel. You know, many people die from simple accidents or natural causes. If you wait, they might just die on their own.

Don Hall 4/17/19 Don Hall 4/17/19

The Burning Down of Legacy

How does one acknowledge the horrors of the Crusades and the push for Catholic dominance in the world under a rigid papacy which provided the funding of the build with the building we mourned on Monday?

Jenni Thurston 4/16/19 Jenni Thurston 4/16/19

Roses of Aphrodite

She had the admiration of the gods and mortals alike. But the thorns of the rose were in her heart, and she longed for someone to remove them.

Don Hall 4/15/19 Don Hall 4/15/19

I Believe… [Everyone Has Some Advantage]

…that with the lens of intersectionality as it now stands, the term “privilege” has been rendered meaningless.

Don Hall 4/15/19 Don Hall 4/15/19

Untwisting the Jounced About Bottle

You grab a bottle of soda and shake it up. You sit it on the counter. You know what’s going to happen when you untwist that cap.

Now imagine a truckload of bottles of soda, all shaken up at the same time, just ready to blow.

Contributing Writer 4/14/19 Contributing Writer 4/14/19

I Wrote a Letter

I was married and happy and not looking. But I went out on assignment to help him cultivate his fields, and something wild coursed through me. Something not cultivated, at all. I ended up writing him a letter:

I want to fuck your farm.
I want to curl my toes in the brown clay,
mash the wet soil under my arches,
squeeze the juice out of the squirming underground
and watch it bubble up out of the mud,
and over my heel,
and out from under the balls of my feet: musky.
insistent. warm like arterial blood.

Elizabeth Harper 4/13/19 Elizabeth Harper 4/13/19

Monkeys Typing

spanking my monkey
monkeys typing
the natives are restless
and they've got a lot to say

David Himmel 4/12/19 David Himmel 4/12/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 7, 2019

Easter was canceled. They found the body.

Don Hall 4/12/19 Don Hall 4/12/19

I Like to Watch | Pet Sematary (2019)

An evil cat is kind of an oxymoron but you get the drift.

Contributing Writer 4/11/19 Contributing Writer 4/11/19

American Shithole #55 | Who the Fuck is Candace Owens?

Black fucking Nazis, you say? Will wonders never cease? I tell you, this administration’s ability to unleash every festering boil of stupidity in this country, is absolutely astounding.

Trump is the Pied Piper of Batshit Crazy.

Don Hall 4/11/19 Don Hall 4/11/19

Circular Firing Squad | Like Dogs Howling at Sirens

Yes, we ignored Michelle Obama when she intoned “When they go low, we go high” because that wise advise didn’t suit our Neo-Left Progressive need to express our outrage and childish inability to reign in our self righteous anger.

Joe Janes 4/10/19 Joe Janes 4/10/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Barr Investigation into the Investigation of the Trump Campaign Investigation

The whole thing was tainted with anti-Trump bias from the start. According to the president who gave me this job.

Don Hall 4/10/19 Don Hall 4/10/19

The Old Lady Who Hated Halloween Put A Sign Up Letting Us Know

She felt that she shouldn’t have to be singled out, that the children shouldn’t be bothering people anyway and why not just do away with the practice on the block altogether instead of forcing her to put up some sign.

David Himmel 4/9/19 David Himmel 4/9/19

Getting Paid to Type as a Writer

Not everything has to be gold. Not everything has to be a bestseller. Most things won’t be either. But it’s nice to work toward something like that. Spending your days trying to leave something that will survive you, something that will separate you from the herd, something that your wife and kid and parents and grandparents and friends can be proud of. Something you can be proud of. Something that means anything to anyone anywhere. Even for a moment. Because if you can do that, then you’ve got proof to show the gods you’ve done something of value while you were here breathing the free air. It wasn’t a life spent taking; it was one that gave back, too.

Don Hall 4/8/19 Don Hall 4/8/19

I Believe… [Be An Ally Who Doesn't Self Loathe]

…that one can be a cis, heterosexual, white male in America and advocate for anti-racism and anti-sexism and LGTBQ rights without feeling guilty for being a cis, heterosexual, white male or campaigning against masculinity or whiteness.

Don Hall 4/8/19 Don Hall 4/8/19

All Lessons Matter Because the Children are Watching

As a former teacher, I think our ideas of teaching others has become somewhat skewed. It seems that teaching is somehow congruent with lecturing, admonishing, grading. While those are definitely methods used in the modern school system, it is not the most effective way to teach children. The most effective method to teach children is by example.