The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | South Texas Family Life Choices Legal Clinic

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | South Texas Family Life Choices Legal Clinic

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By Joe Janes

South Texas Family Life Choices Legal Clinic 

April 17, 2019    8:30am

Attendance: Rep. Tony Tinderholt, Gov. Greg Abbott, Doctor John Smith


Dr. John – Gentlemen, welcome to South Texas Family Life Choices Legal Clinic. We know that sometimes God can throw you unexpected curves. We are here to help you straighten them out. 

Gov. Greg – That’s wonderful to hear, Doctor. 

Rep. Tony – We have been so worried about what we should do.

Dr. John – I have examined your case. A young woman in El Paso was raped and, as a result, became pregnant, and then had the pregnancy aborted. 

Gov. Greg – I tear up just thinking about it.

Dr. John – Did you know the woman?

Rep. Tony – We have never met her. Or her rapist. Who, by the way, was given a hefty fine and way more hours of community service than I would ever want to do.

Gov. Greg – 10 hours. 

Rep. Tony – 10 hours in the hot sun wearing a reflective vest while picking up garbage along the side of the road. No thank you!

Dr. John – And you seek to punish the woman for getting an abortion.

Rep. Tony – And her doctor. Nothing personal against doctors.

Dr. John – Oh, I’m not really a doctor. I just had my first name legally changed to Doctor. I’m really a lawyer.

Gov. Greg – Your lab coat and stethoscope make you look like a doctor.

Dr. John – Thank you.

Rep. Tony – We would like to see them both get the death penalty.

Dr. John – Okay. That is an option. Now, before we make a decision, I have some things to show you. Here’s a picture I want you to see.

Gov. Greg – Yep. That’s her. That’s her mugshot.

Rep. Tony – May she rot in hell. 

Dr. John – Okay. Now, look at this picture.

Gov. Greg – What an adorable little baby girl. 

Rep. Tony – I want to eat her toes. 

Dr. John – That’s the same woman as a small child. Do you still think she should be put to death?

Gov. Greg – Well, she did break the law. It is technically murder. And she had an accomplice. 

Dr. John – The man who impregnated her?

Rep. Tony – The doctor.

Dr. John – Oh, yes. Well, I also have something I want you to listen to. (Dr. John presses a button on his cellphone and holds it up for them to hear. It is the sound of a heartbeat.) That, gentlemen, is the heartbeat of a human being at 2,340 weeks old.  

Rep. Tony – Sounds healthy.

Dr. John – He is a doctor. 

Gov. Greg – Why are you making us look at pictures and listen to heart beats? We already made up our minds. 

Dr. John – I understand how you feel, Governor. I just don’t want you to rush into anything that you may regret later. Have you ever seen an execution — aka, very late term abortion — performed?

Rep. Tony – I have seen them on the TV and in the moving pictures.

Gov. Greg – They’re painless. Like going to sleep.

Dr. John – It’s very different from what you see in shows and films. They can be very painful. The condemned can go into convulsions. Foam at the mouth. Sometimes they don’t even work. I have some videos to show you—

Gov. Greg – Okay, Dr. Lawyer, we get it. 

Rep. Tony – I still want to see them put to death for not being Pro Life. 

Dr. John – All I’m asking is that you consider other options. Think about it. Take your time. Come back in ten, fifteen years and tell me how you feel. You know, many people die from simple accidents or natural causes. If you wait, they might just die on their own.

Gov. Greg – Well, let’s think about it then.

Rep. Tony – And pray for their deaths. 

Dr. John – Let go and let God. 

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