Know Your Rights
It’s a free country, right? It’s a free country, right?
I can do whatever I want, be whatever I want,
say whatever I want, shoot whomever I want,
live wherever I want, die however I want.
It’s a free country, right? It’s a free country, right?
Screaming at Weeds Doesn't Make Them Disappear
It's as if our ancestors have been toiling away, trying to get rid of weeds in the yard and we woke up to more weeds and threw up our arms, fell to our knees (all set to strains of Barber's Adagio for Strings in G minor) and screamed "But WHYYYYYY?" when we saw that more weeds had sprouted up overnight.
I Believe… [The Hippie Enclave Will Protect Us From The Neo-Adolf]
…that America will never go the way of Nazi Germany if, for no other reason, Germany didn't have a one of the world's largest land masses completely inhabited by hippies and artists to push back. We have California. On the other hand, Hitler never had the fertile ground of regressive hate that is Florida.
Noble X — Episode 3: Racing
Trent had once dated his younger cousin but that had ended in a somewhat unpleasant manner as relationships often do. John figures if he stays busy and continues to have things to distract him from his pain that maybe he can run from it indefinitely.
Belief is a Sledgehammer | Thoughts, Musings & Essays
After a few years of contemplation (and procrastination) Literate Ape Press is pleased to announce the publishing (in paperback and on Kindle) of Belief is a Sledgehammer | Thoughts, Musings & Essays.
Do You Want Nazis? Because That's How You Get Nazis.
The next time some centrist idiot suggests that maybe I should just have some chill, I’m going to knock his fucking teeth in. I’m done. I have zero chill.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of June 24, 2018
I’m not gay. Not even bi-curious. But I think Gene Kelly is the sexiest man to have ever lived, and without question or pause, I would dig up his bones and dry hump them to full completion.
PETER AND I — Or How Recovery Met Transformation
Steamy mid-afternoon arrived. Soaked in sweat, we took a smoke break on the roof and observed our handiwork. That's when Pete decided the house needed skylights and we took part of the roof off and threw it too into the pit.
American Shithole #22 — FLOTUS, She Wrote (Us)
I do feel emptiness sometimes, in a way I have never felt it before, when I reflect on how much rage this presidency instills in me. The Yang of a terrible Yin, I suppose. I’ve never experienced the desire for revenge, the way I want for it now.
Real Life Ghost Stories: My Haunted Apartment
When the movie Paranormal Activity came out, we named our ghost Toby. Naming it seemed to give it new energy. That’s what my husband said, anyway. The strange happenings became more frequent…
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – HOLY SHIT WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND NOT SOON ENOUGH Meeting of The Chicago Optimists’ Society
Meg – If a bear cub and a moth can be cuddle buddies, then so can a privileged white woman and a black man at a barbeque.
How to End America’s Cold Civil War
You could feel the chill sprint down your spine and tear through your bones the moment the frontrunners became Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. The rift, the wildly apparent chasm between countrymen had already occurred. The end of the 2016 United States Presidential Primaries was the official beginning of America’s Cold Civil War.
Some Things I Should Have Said: The Teacher's Severance
Before I got fired from my second teaching job, my administrator asked me a series of questions which, in essence, involved asking me to justify my work over the preceding year.
I Believe… [Don't Underestimate the Machine]
...that the reason TrumpCo went ahead and treated immigrants at the border like animals in cages was to distract us while they tried to roll back Medicaid. Underestimating these assholes is exactly how they got in there in the first place.
Historical Ignorance and the Slow March to a Great (Fascist) America
We’ve seen all of this before. It begins with a grievance.
We’re marching along toward our inevitable fascist, totalitarian end. And we’re marching either because we’re lying to ourselves that it’s OK or we’re too stupid to know better. I’m betting it’s the latter. Because Americans aren’t stupid. Americans are mighty and supreme. Americans are pure and good. That is, until we’re not.
And perhaps we never were. Look at history. We were never that New Colossus.
This is not hyperbole. This is history.
No One Masturbates to C-SPAN But Maybe They Should
Chicago Pride
The 49th annual Chicago Pride Parade is tomorrow, Sunday, June 24. The parade starts at noon at Broadway and Montrose. The international theme is "REMEMBER the PAST, CREATE the FUTURE.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of June 16, 2018
If you don’t know the difference between Fake News and an egregious journalistic error, you are too stupid to read the news. Instead, turn on HGTV, subscribe to The Pioneer Woman Magazine and keep your head up your ass.
Chasing Our Tails: The Russian Hackers Knew Us Better Than We Thought
We laugh because dogs, while often more intelligent than we think, aren't as intelligent as we want them be nor as savvy as those fucking dogs in the movies.
Many dogs never get the urge to chase their tails and, if you've ever tried to teach one that does you understand the near impossibility of it. The dog that chases its tail is blind to the distinctions.
Why do dogs chase their tails, though?
American Shithole #21 — Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III: Feckless Runt
I know there are some liberals out there that have been hanging on to the idea that if progressives just get a little quieter, the problem will go away. I love you, but no, it won’t. You need to get angry, motivated, and involved.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.