David Himmel 1/6/21 David Himmel 1/6/21

Who Gets to Tell Your Kid’s Story?

I hated when my mother would talk about me to her friends when I was a kid. Hated it. Even the most bland of stories, like, say, that I was playing little league again that spring would infuriate me. And I know she shared way more about me than my pre-teen baseball career to her friends and family. Hated it. As if she knew anything about me whatsoever. As if my challenges and wins and all-inclusive experiences—as if my life—were her story to tell.

Don Hall 1/5/21 Don Hall 1/5/21

I Like to Watch | Gerard Butler Movies

Less enchanted by the romcoms in his IMDB (P.S. I Love You, The Ugly Truth, or Playing for Keeps) or even his super badass phase (300, RocknRolla), my Gerard Butler jam happens once he gained a bit of weight, got the slightly droopy underchin, and did his level best to do one of the least convincing American accents since Kevin Costner tried an English accent in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

Don Hall 1/4/21 Don Hall 1/4/21

I Believe... [Ted Wheeler is a Bit Late]

I believe... that after ten months of the Antifa crowd burning Portland to the ground at the drop of any ideological excuse, Mayor Ted Wheeler’s admonition for the continued vandalism under the guise of persistent protest seems a bit late to the game.

Don Hall 1/3/21 Don Hall 1/3/21

Advice Unsolicited | Misinterpreting Rowling

I want to let my youngest enjoy the world of Harry Potter without supporting a bigot and disappointing my oldest.

Don Hall 1/2/21 Don Hall 1/2/21

I Like to Watch | True Crime Television

True Crime is not so much a genre of how terrible some people can be. It is a genre that acts as the mirror to society as it is rather than as we hope it is.

David Himmel 1/1/21 David Himmel 1/1/21

Notes from the Post-it Wall | 2021 New Year Resolutions Edition

If a resolution of yours is happens to be about your weight, please consider going easy on yourself. You’re not alone. We all hate our bodies and want someone else’s. For example, I want Gal Gadot’s.

Don Hall 12/31/20 Don Hall 12/31/20

The Throwing Caution to the Wind When Caution is Warranted

As we stand on the precipice of 2021, maybe it's time to look hard at those risks and determine to throw caution to the wind. I mean, seriously, what have you got to lose? Death is inevitable, life is a choice.

Joe Janes 12/30/20 Joe Janes 12/30/20

2020! - The Zack Snyder Cut

Featuring Jesse Eisenberg as Donald Trump, Ben Affleck as Rudy Giuliani, and Jon Voight as Rush Limbaugh.

Paul Teodo 12/30/20 Paul Teodo 12/30/20

Primo

“I’m gonna do the dago hop on my 80th birthday. I’ll be good by then.” Primo struggled to slide off Dr. Anthony Choy’s exam table.

“The Dago hop?” Dr. Choy asked.

“It’s an Italian folk dance.” Romolo, Primo’s son, answered.

Elizabeth Harper 12/29/20 Elizabeth Harper 12/29/20

Nightmare Carpet

Don Hall 12/28/20 Don Hall 12/28/20

I Believe… [Bitcoin Slots]

I believe... that cryptocurrency, the stock market, and throwing money into a slot machine are all identical processes for gaining wealth without working.

David Himmel 12/28/20 David Himmel 12/28/20

Wonder Woman 1984 Couldn’t Save the Story

Wonder Woman 1984 was a disappointment. And not as much for me as for Diana and Wonder Woman. And for actor Gal Gadot. She was robbed of an interesting story. There is no character development in WW84 for our hero. Diana is in the exact same place as she was at the end of the first film.

Don Hall 12/26/20 Don Hall 12/26/20

Conspiracy Theorists Are Simply CosPlaying to Avoid Crushing Reality

Conspiracy theories grow during times of institutional failure. If you can't have the life you were promised by your personal and flawed interpretation of the "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" clause at least you can paint yourself as a hero struggling against a greater evil. You can be a knight or a superhero or a great revolutionary.

Don Hall 12/25/20 Don Hall 12/25/20

Unforging Marley's Chain: Redemption is Possible

For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause. Link by link, and yard by yard. The chain we forge in life.

David Himmel 12/25/20 David Himmel 12/25/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Christmas Movies Edition

The most unrealistic thing about Home Alone is that Fuller, a bedwetter, would have also overslept.

David Himmel 12/25/20 David Himmel 12/25/20

I am Santa Claus: A Parenting Journey

Christmas Eve. Just after somewhere between 7:30 and 8:57-ish at night. My wife was hurried away in the kitchen preparing tomorrow morning’s breakfast—an egg casserole that’ll put hair on your mother’s balls. Delicious. I was lulling the child to sleep with three books. One about trucks, another about construction trucks, and the third, Goodnight Moon.

Mike Vinopal 12/24/20 Mike Vinopal 12/24/20

One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Treasure

Do you know the history of the White Elephant?

Oh, the storied tales of White Elephant Christmases gone by! The triumph and defeat! The never-ending variations on the tradition from family to family, office to office! I am giddy just thinking about it. But first, let me back up for those who know not of the White Elephant.

Joe Janes 12/23/20 Joe Janes 12/23/20

Christmissed Connections

You had on a mask and a face shield. Or, after seeing you, a face chic (wink).

Don Hall 12/22/20 Don Hall 12/22/20

A Troubling Hare

I have a lot of problems. Let me restate that. A lot of problems have me. Having a problem is an illusion. It implies I have control over that problem. I don’t. The problem has control over me.

Don Hall 12/21/20 Don Hall 12/21/20

I Believe... [Bisexual Marvel]

...that making Starlord from “Guardians of the Galaxy” bisexual presents a conundrum for Chris Pratt: continue to “act” the role or do some method preparation and fellate at least three dudes for some sort of ideological purity?