Christmissed Connections
by Joe Janes
MY CVS ANGEL – 12/10/2020
Late afternoon last Thursday, as I was walking out of CVS, you were walking in. You were wearing an unzipped red parka. It’s cold, but it’s not that cold, am I right? You had on faded blue jeans with a rip across the right knee, intentional and strategic, I imagine. Well, it worked. The fleshy knob of your undulating naked kneecap was poking through. You had on a lavender, pleated, paper mask as well as a face shield. Or, after seeing you, a face chic (wink). And a hat of some sort. I couldn’t see your hair, but it felt auburn. Sun shot across the plastic on your shield and I could only see one of your eyes. I assume both of them are a piercing blue. Although, I once had a Siberian husky with one blue eye and one kind of golden-brown eye. It did not change my unconditional love for Ditka. That’s her name. She’s dead. I loved her so much that I over fed her dog food and treats. I also would share my ice-cream with her when we watched football games or movies on the Lifetime Channel. The great thing about eating ice-cream with a dog is that there’s no clean-up. She just licked it right out of the carton as I held it in my lap. And then she would eat the carton. I digress. It seemed like you were walking in slow motion as angels singing a Gun ‘n’ Roses song played in my head. There was a moment when we made eye contact, both my brown eyes to your one blue eye, and I thought that you were probably smiling under those protective layers. I sure was. I was wearing a Chicago Bears jacket, orange and blue pin-striped pajama pants, brown Thom McCan boat shoes, no socks, red cap, and a camo mask. I had just picked up my prescription medicine. Don’t worry. Nothing weird. Just my Flo-Max. Sometimes the old pee hole just doesn’t open up enough. It’s still okay to touch it. I can vouch for that. I attempted to say hello and it only came out as a slight gurgle. You quickly veered far to the side. I appreciate your commitment to social distancing. I felt we had a moment. Just a brief, but nice connection between two humans ricocheting around this universe full of chaos. If you would like to get together and explore some anti-social distancing, please let me know. I’ll bring the ice-cream and will let you eat it out of the carton.
ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS YOU! – 12/15/20
I SAW YOU; YOU DIDN’T SEE ME – SOUTHSIDE. 33RD AND MORGAN. MONDAY NIGHT. YOU WERE HANGING CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AROUND THE INSIDE OF YOUR FRONT WINDOW. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED ME WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY TRIPPED YOUR NEIGHBOR’S MOTION-ACTIVTED LIGHTS TRYING TO HIDE FROM THE PATROL CAR THAT HAD CIRCLED BACK. THEN I RAN OFF DOWN THE ALLEY. HOPE TO FIND YOU UNDER MY CHRSITMAS TREE IN A BOX LARGE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LIE DOWN IN WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER, SOME SNACKS FROM THE GAS STATION, AN EMPTY COFFEE CAN TO POOP AND PEE IN AND SOME HOLES POKED INTO IT SO YOU CAN BREATHE. WHAT A MERRY CHRISTMAS THAT WILL BE.