I Believe… [Racial Cannibals]
I believe... that when white people say things like “White people are the worst” it reminds me of cartoon cows advertising the deliciousness of beef.
Stomping Our Feet Into Oblivion
“Eat shit, haters!”
Gratitude in an Ungrateful Year
I spend most mornings, in between the first and second cup of coffee, pondering what I am grateful for in my daily grind and so it is on this day as well.
On Thanksgiving 2020, I am thankful that:
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Winning the War on Thanksgiving
Say “Merry Thanksgiving” to everyone. Take off your mask so they can hear you.
I Believe… [Free College is Righteous]
I believe... that cancelling existing college debt and making college free for those in lower economic circumstance are excellent ideas. Adding public service as a condition is even better.
When Reality Punches Ideology, We Must Embrace the Flaws in Our Perspective
It’s hard to square the whitewash of white supremacy when so many non-white voters reject the basic premise. When millions of voters who are not white vote for the obvious racist candidate there has to be a more nuanced and data-driven rationale. If the Progressive Left can say with a straight face that Biden won because of black votes or black women votes or Indigenous votes then they must accept that Trump came far closer than expected because of black votes or Latino votes or Muslim votes.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 15, 2020
Stop being so hard on yourself and everyone else. Just be social. Just be cool. Stop expecting so much from everything but have the ambition to make it all better. Then follow through.
Six Fictional Characters I Aspire to Resemble in Practice
No longer in thrall with the kung fu I never mastered, I still find inspiration from characters in popular culture who provide aspirational qualities.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Coronavirus Task Force’s Plan to Distribute Trump Vaccines
The vaccine will be infused in Trump Vodka, Trump Steaks, and, for Native American communities, Trump Blankets
The Cross the Left Must Bear
Suddenly the Glue Stick kid started screaming “CHESS CHESS CHESTER CHESS! It’s all about fucking chess but what about ME! WHAT. ABOUT. MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” and he rapidly swallowed three pawns off of one of the closer games and choked himself until the school nurse could get him to vomit them up.
I Believe… [Harris is a Woman Vice President]
I believe... that anyone referring to the Vice President as a “menstruator” is an idiot (unless they’re talking about Pence).
Lewis and Fredo
I got it. It was now my move. Should I succumb to his demand? It was a dark, wind whipped subzero ominous god-forsaken Chicago blizzard.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Post-Election 2020 Edition
The Republican Party gained more ground locally, and even some nationally. The courts are full of conservative judges who have every opportunity to legislate from the bench. The fight rages on, and progress is still a little behind. We must be more tortoise and less hare. Mitch McConnell not only looks like a tortoise, he’s been playing the slow and stead game for a long time, which is why he’s winning.
Grappling with Postmodernism in a Post-Trump America
A couple of rules of thumb I’ve learned to follow in the past four or five years:
If I read it on social media, best to assume it’s bullshit.
If the belief is not backed up by data, it’s bullshit.
If a politician says it without supporting evidence, it’s bullshit.
If it’s full of ‘buzzwords’ (intersectionality, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, TERF, fragility), it’s bullshit.
How To Get Trump to Leave the White House
“Don`t be nice to criminals or don’t be gentle and when you`re putting them away, be rough on them.” - Donald Trump
100% Within My Rights
Until this moment, I have not really appreciated the magnitude of the problem of misdirection. Big lies are easier to spot and avoid. Mitch has not repeated Trump’s extreme lie that the election was “stolen.” He has only said Trump is “100 percent within his rights to look to allegations of irregularities and weigh his legal options.” True enough. I mean, we’re all 100 percent within those rights at all times, aren’t we?
Love in the Time of Pandemic
I want to inhale you, smell your hair, rub my cheek against yours, hold you close and dance in the moonlight
I want to talk to you, tell you everything: the important stuff, the trivial stuff, the mind-blowing stuff, the boring stuff
I want to hold your hand, sit in silence, sip from the same glass, eat from the same plate, sleep in the same bed
I Believe… [It Wasn’t Great Before Trump]
...that after a week of election drama and four years of Trump, we can finally get back to arguing about climate change, being afraid of mass shootings, and the difficulties of online dating.
Now Is the Time to Be Gracious and Get to Work Being Honest with Ourselves
At this phase, Trump ain’t going quietly. Lots of lawsuits. Recounts. Tantrums. Conspiracy theories. We now get to witness the full madness of our King George, a meltdown so massive it would be good to take serious note of how badly we can get things wrong in our democracy. One fact we need to acknowledge before our nipples get hard and we go running in the streets naked, flogging MAGA hat wearers with our engorged cocks:
If it hadn’t been for a pandemic, he would’ve won.
Notes from the Post-it Wall |Week of November 1, 2020
I look forward to knowing the indisputable results of the presidential election so that we can enjoy our holiday season debating whether “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is a rape song or not. (It is. That’s how shit got done in President Truman’s America.)
Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.