How To Get Trump to Leave the White House

A picture is worth 1,000 words. Well, 600 words in the current economy.

by Joe Janes

Trump will not concede, but we may be able to get him to leave the White House long enough to change the locks and get Joe Biden in there. Since he has been neglecting his presidential duties and focused on unproven accusations about election corruption, we should do this as soon as possible.

Joe can start early.

Here are some suggestions to lure Donald Trump out of The White House…

-       Open a McDonald’s across the street with a “Strong Handsome World Leaders Eat Free” sign in the window. Use the military to clear the protestors out of the way – don’t worry about force, they’re used to it – and give Trump an official Golf Cart One that he can use to zip over in. 

-       Tell him Kim Jong-Un is outside with a guitar, roses, and another beautiful letter for him.

-       Tell him there’s going to be a military parade through Washington, D.C. to celebrate his victory and they want him to ride in a tank and wave at all his fans. 

-       Tell him Obama is going to be on Dancing with the Stars – the best presidents ever edition – and while they have all the contestants they need, they’ll make room for him because he really is the best president ever!

-       A reboot of The Apprentice announces George Soros as the host. 

-       Tell him New York City is going to put up a statue of him to honor his rapid and effective COVID-19 response and would like him there for its unveiling. 

-       The Nobel Prize Committee admits they made a mistake and want to award him two peace prizes in a ceremony at a sold-out Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas. 

-       Or we could just not be nice about it and drag that motherfucker out kicking and screaming. 

“Don`t be nice to criminals or don’t be gentle and when you`re putting them away, be rough on them.” - Donald Trump