But the exciting part is that when they came up with the sins that would merit this public humiliation—lust, wrath, gluttony, and so on—some churches didn’t just have seven. Some included an eighth: Dejection.

“What can I do for you?” asked the funnel of incense as it materialized into a small-boned woman in a red Chanel suit.

So for people who don’t know, slugging is where you moisturize like normal BUT THEN add a layer of petroleum jelly and leave on overnight

When she was seventy-three, Mom got arrested at a T.J. Maxx. They brought her to a little security office and laid out the charge: switching price tags, which she denied. "The tag came off! I was trying to fix it!"

There were splinters in our hearts the size of floorboards.

We waited, shivering.

Until this moment, I have not really appreciated the magnitude of the problem of misdirection. Big lies are easier to spot and avoid. Mitch has not repeated Trump’s extreme lie that the election was “stolen.” He has only said Trump is “100 percent within his rights to look to allegations of irregularities and weigh his legal options.” True enough. I mean, we’re all 100 percent within those rights at all times, aren’t we?

I’m walking Nola through Russell Springs KOA, a park reviewed on Google as “not bad for what it is.” We drove down from my cousin’s in Paris, Kentucky, attracted by the website description. “It's water, water everywhere when you stay at this campground right next to Lake Cumberland!” But the campsite map notes, “No access to lake from KOA.” However, the showers are clean and there's 24-hour laundry. Not bad for what it is.

“What can I do for you?” asked the funnel of incense as it materialized into a small-boned woman in a red Chanel suit.

Fast & Short is a flash fiction collaboration between eight Literate Ape writers. Each was tasked with authoring one piece of flash fiction that would be combined to create a single short story. The writers’ flash fiction needed to serve two purposes: 1) Stand alone as a unique piece of flash fiction and 2) Serve as a vehicle for building a larger story and driving that story forward. Here is that developing story.