David Himmel 5/26/20 David Himmel 5/26/20

On Birthday 41 and the Things I’ve Learned

Some things don’t change. We are creatures of habit. But we’re also creatures of evolution, and while basking in the happiness that familiarity brings, we also find ourselves on our birthdays with a heart and a brain full of things learned. So, taking my inspiration from a Don Hall tradition of recounting those things leaned in the past year, here’s the short list of what my forty-first trip around the Sun has revealed to me.

Don Hall 5/25/20 Don Hall 5/25/20

I Believe… [Smile. Nod. Ignore.]

…that I’m starting to adopt a “Smile and Nod and Ignore” more and more people clamoring for attention these days. “COVID was created by Obama!” Smile. Nod. Ignore. “All white people are oppressors.” Smile. Nod. Ignore. “I don’t have to wear a mask at CostCo. It’s a free country!” Smile. Nod. Walk Far Away. Ignore.

Elizabeth Harper 5/25/20 Elizabeth Harper 5/25/20

I’m happy staying at home alone but …

I miss walking over to a neighborhood bar and the bartender recognizes me because I am a regular and have been there lots of times before and they’re happy to see me and we chat a little and I get a drink because sometimes it’s fun to get a drink and talk and laugh…

Contributing Writer 5/24/20 Contributing Writer 5/24/20

The Cereal Wish | Part 4

As you have already learned, I am a quick thinker. Like, how I used my second wish to live inside of the classic sitcom Cheers. Yep. Everything is going to be smooth sailing from here on out.

It’s true that I’ll miss my girlfriend, Sarah, but as Dave Matthews said in a Facebook post in 2018, “What a great ending of a great tour!”

Norm walks over to me.

Don Hall 5/23/20 Don Hall 5/23/20

The Devastating Experiment in Televised Reality

As Marshall McLuhan famously stated “The message is the medium.” The medium today is the internet and the unfettered access for a fully democratized series of messages supported by a distribution model bolstered entirely by appealing to the lowest common denominator.

David Himmel 5/22/20 David Himmel 5/22/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 17, 2020

Is there anything in the world cuter than a toddler parroting back to you, “Goddammit! Jesus…”? The answer is yes. That same toddler parroting back to you, “The fuck is your problem?”

MT Cozzola 5/22/20 MT Cozzola 5/22/20

The Cereal Wish | Part 3

“What can I do for you?” asked the funnel of incense as it materialized into a small-boned woman in a red Chanel suit.

Elizabeth Harper 5/21/20 Elizabeth Harper 5/21/20

The Heaviness and Lightness of Old Age

Joe Janes 5/20/20 Joe Janes 5/20/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Have A Productive Day!

Alcohol optional. I mean, optimal.

Guest User 5/20/20 Guest User 5/20/20

The Cereal Wish | Part 2

And there I was, twenty minutes later out trucking with Maggie four blocks away now from our place down Algren Street. It seemed to be nap time for the rest of the world while I took the much-needed air.

David Himmel 5/20/20 David Himmel 5/20/20

The Cereal Wish

Fast & Short is a flash fiction collaboration between eight Literate Ape writers. Each was tasked with authoring one piece of flash fiction that would be combined to create a single short story. The writers’ flash fiction needed to serve two purposes: 1) Stand alone as a unique piece of flash fiction and 2) Serve as a vehicle for building a larger story and driving that story forward. Here is that developing story.

Don Hall 5/19/20 Don Hall 5/19/20

I Like to Watch | Game of Thrones (All Eight Seasons in Three Weeks)

…if Martin were trying convey some sort of overarching message it was not that power corrupts but those who pursue power are corrupted by the pursuit.

Don Hall 5/18/20 Don Hall 5/18/20

I Believe… [Brandon Stark in 2020]

I believe… that I don’t need the presidential nominee to be exciting. I’ve had nearly four years of exciting and I’d like a nice, competent president that I only know about when he (or she) passes some quality legislation that helps the country. Maybe someone like Brandon Stark.

David Himmel 5/18/20 David Himmel 5/18/20

The Cereal Wish | Part 1

Thank God for the dog. If not for her, my girlfriend wouldn’t let me leave the house. When the pandemic got serious, she didn’t care about toilet paper; she b-lined it for the milk. Our freezer is perfectly packed with Swedish meatballs, broccoli florets, and twenty-three gallon-size Ziplocs of milk.

Don Hall 5/17/20 Don Hall 5/17/20

Pedants vs. Thugs: Examining the Bedrock of Modern Protest Movements

The Far Right is just doing what they have always done. Take the tactics of their perceived enemies and use them for their own ends.

Anonymous 5/16/20 Anonymous 5/16/20

A Toxic Friendship Fairy Tale

A darkly delightful tale of a hare standing up for herself against a selfish, useless, ignorant fucking bunny.

David Himmel 5/15/20 David Himmel 5/15/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 10, 2020

A lot of people have gotten new puppies during this pandemic. Look, if you need an excuse to go outside, just start smoking. It’s cheaper and cleaner. And I’ve never had to scrub cigarette poo-poo out of a carpet.

Joe Janes 5/13/20 Joe Janes 5/13/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | It’s a Date! I Think. Maybe.

He sees a Luke Skywalker figurine on the shelf behind him and he moves it to the floor.

David Himmel 5/13/20 David Himmel 5/13/20

If I Die in Hospice

In the instance where my life does not end
Me out there sailing through a sudden squall or
failing to outrun the authorities after a good-natured display of public violence

If I happen to fall victim of illness or extreme age
And die under the care of hospice,
A few things must occur
Lest I haunt this overheated watery rock for eternity

Play the hits.

Don Hall 5/12/20 Don Hall 5/12/20

Running from Grief

There’s an odd disconnect between dealing with legitimate grief and typing “budget cremation wichita” into the search bar.