Don Hall 4/21/20 Don Hall 4/21/20

The Economy Will Recover, it Just Won’t Resemble The Economy You’re Used to Living Within

In 1933, they didn’t have Netflix, booze delivered to your home, or Hot Pockets. The Joad’s didn’t have the option of a drive-thru Burger King.

Don Hall 4/20/20 Don Hall 4/20/20

I Believe… [It’s the Flags You Fly That Brand You a Dipshit]

I believe… that no matter how righteous your protest, as soon as you display that Confederate flag and those swastikas, we all know you’re an asshole.

Don Hall 4/20/20 Don Hall 4/20/20

Cleaning Toilets on Grave Yard Shift is a Trip, Man

Here’s a bit of knowledge to dole out. Drunk men are juvenile. They piss on stuff. They piss on the floor around the urinals. They piss on the toilet. They piss on full rolls of toilet paper. Like Storm Troopers in Star Wars, their aim is for shit.

Drunk women on the other side are monsters. Filthy and almost angry in the bathroom. Shit smeared on the walls. Used tampons stuck to the floor. Half-empty glasses left in the corners covered in lipstick. Half-eaten food on the sinks.

Don Hall 4/18/20 Don Hall 4/18/20

Finding Purchase In the Post-Pandemic Economy: Dystopia or a Brave New World?

The smartest among us are not focused on blame right now. The smartest among us are looking to science the shit out of the problem. The dumbest protest the solutions while offering nothing but noise in return.

David Himmel 4/17/20 David Himmel 4/17/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 12, 2020

Walked past the nice homeless guy who hangs around outside my 7-11. He said, “Hey, man! I love your dog, you know!” I said, “Hey, buddy! How’re you doing?” He said, “I’m proud to be American!” And that right there… There is no greater exchange to exemplify how terribly mental illness impacts the homeless community.

Guest User 4/17/20 Guest User 4/17/20

Odyssey Preppers: A slothful meditation

How easily even the driven-to-dream Odyssey Prepper becomes paralyzed by the myriad comprehensive depths of MacGyver-esque preparedness choices. The Platonic mind frozen in delicious deliberation of future liberation.

Elizabeth Harper 4/16/20 Elizabeth Harper 4/16/20

Going Down the Prepper Rabbit Hole

I wasn't worried about running out of Clorox wipes until I saw they’re prioritized for hospitals on Amazon and totally out of stock at Walgreens, Target, Walmart, Staples, etc.

My sister often says, “Our family is not surviving the zombie apocalypse.”

Joe Janes 4/15/20 Joe Janes 4/15/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Thank Trump!

No one be thanking God if they survive. They’ll be thanking Donald Trump.

Joe Mallon 4/14/20 Joe Mallon 4/14/20

A Small Café in Paris

He looks at the glass. He looks at the waitress. Two miserable cubes float in an inch of water. Water from the melted ice. Water with floating black specks in it. He is afraid to ask for more ice. Fear keeps him from drinking the water. And watered-down Pepsi will not do. He drinks the water, despite his fear. He does not want watered-down Pepsi. He pours the Pepsi. The ice melts.

Don Hall 4/13/20 Don Hall 4/13/20

I Believe… [More Than Social Distancing]

…that in addition to giving each other six feet of distance physically, we might also consider giving each other a bit of judgement distance as well. None of us really know what the fuck we’re doing in this period of history and everyone is trying to do the best they can with limited (and sometimes skewed) information.

MT Cozzola 4/12/20 MT Cozzola 4/12/20

Tips from the Universal Household Assistant | Lungs—to protect from dust.—

A simple and cheap protection from such annoyance is to get a piece of sponge large enough to cover the nostrils and mouth, hollow it out on one side with a pair of scissors to fit the face, attach a string to each side, and tie it on.

Don Hall 4/11/20 Don Hall 4/11/20

Lessons on Self-Isolation as Learned from Binge Watching “Big Brother” and “Love Island” with Just a Bit of Shame for Doing So

While you languish in self-exile playing board games and participating in Zoom cocktail parties, I did something truly shameful as a research project: I binge-watched Big Brother: Season 21 and Love Island: Fiji.

David Himmel 4/10/20 David Himmel 4/10/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 4, 2020

The religious and passively observant religious welcome spring by celebrating two of the Bible’s most violent and frightening stories. Among the abandoning and killing of children, general death and destruction, and zombies ascending to heaven, I do hope you can stop to enjoy the smell of tulips in bloom.

David Himmel 4/10/20 David Himmel 4/10/20

Fur is Murder

As loved as we were by the Boschmann’s, we were still a negro family and had to live in the negro part of town. This part of town was not Officer Sweeney’s beat. He being at our door to arrest my Ronnie was strictly a courtesy. At some point during all the celebration, Mr. Stanley had been murdered. Stabbed in the throat three times. Another four times in the chest and seventeen times in his crotch. I nearly dropped Caroline as Officer Sweeney gave us more details while the other cops escorted Ronnie back to our bedroom so he could get dressed before they slapped cuffs on him.

Don Hall 4/9/20 Don Hall 4/9/20

What is This “Due Process” You Speak Of, Alyssa Milano?

Honestly, the last time I gave two shits what Alyssa Milano or Rose McGowen thought about anything was... well... never. That said, I’m tired of writing about the fucking COVID-19 world so let’s dive in, shall we?

Joe Janes 4/8/20 Joe Janes 4/8/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | New GOP Voter Reforms!

“Voter fraud” continues to be an issue in this country. We have been working hard to develop legislation that will reform all voter laws at a federal level.
- Limit the number of polling stations to one per every 1,000,000 citizens.
- Election supervisors are allowed, at their discretion, to store ballots in basements susceptible to fire or flooding.

Don Hall 4/8/20 Don Hall 4/8/20

The New World Order Following 9/11 is a Template NOT to Follow

The art of those most motivated by empowering those with less may be brushed under the dark and soiled shag carpeting of disaster.

Don Hall 4/7/20 Don Hall 4/7/20

If You Treat People Like Children, You Can’t Be Surprised When They Act Like Children

Simply put, people almost always rise to the level one expects them to based in large part to how they are treated. Treat people like a bunch of toilet paper hoarding morons and, sure enough, they are a bunch of toilet paper hoarding morons.

Don Hall 4/6/20 Don Hall 4/6/20

I Believe… [Corporations Are Shitty People]

…that many Americans are discovering for the first time that corporations despite their legal designation are not people. Or if they are, they’re the kind of people you can’t count on in a crisis.

Don Hall 4/5/20 Don Hall 4/5/20

How to Deal With a Giant Pile of Dog Shit in Your Path

The dog shit was an obstacle but one he could ignore or clean up if he chose those routes. The dog shit became an excuse for not doing something rather than an obstacle to overcome.