pANDEMIC eCCENTRIC
I hope things never go back to how they were. That normal wasn’t normal. Lost to digitized history seemed to be leisure with gravity, interstitial tranquility. The accuracy of vacancy. Nilness.
I want to lose track of days and check the time only to be surprised at the lateness of the hour. Dusk looming, innocent as a satellite.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 29, 2020
Humor is not a universal language. It is, by nature and design, intended for siloing. Even the greatest broad comedy has its haters. The closest thing to universally accepted comedy is Jay Leno and, c’mon, fuck Jay Leno.
The Enticement of Madam Luck
Thousands desired the mystical woman. Hundreds fought for her. Traps were set for her. But no matter what happened while she walked the earth, she always disappeared just as the sun disappeared in the sky.
Yoga in the Time of Quarantine
Chicago self-isolation, Day 11— By now my boyfriend and I, stuck in our 400-square-foot studio, have gone through our television and movie watch-lists, stuffed ourselves with take-out, and pretty much murdered our puzzle/boardgame/book collection. Work takes up some time, but today is Saturday. We’ve been getting on each other’s nerves.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Jean-Claude Pandemic!
Jean-Claude Pandemic! This time it’s personal space.
Converting to Evangelical Christianity
These last few weeks, I’ve listened to the words of Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker and the hosts of NPR and PBS news programs. Shit is bad. Things are fucking fucked up. And we’re doing the best we can based off of the shitty truth this coronavirus COVID-19 forces our leaders and exhausted experts bring us. And I’m no dummy. I can read writing on the wall. These are end times. And that’s why I’ve made the very hard, very serious decision to convert to Christianity.
Sixty Is Hard to Accept
I hope to give more than I take in my limited time on this planet. Thinking about it nightly helps me to make better choices.
I Believe… [Del Taco Kicks Ass]
I believe… that reducing restaurants to take-out or drive-thru genuinely focuses your attention on the quality of the food sans the distractions of venue. For the record, Del Taco is far superior to Taco Bell. #rosecoloredcoronavirusglasses
The Hard Way
The More Arrogant, the Less Convincing
Once in awhile, however, I can’t help but be the arrogant know-it-all who I have been in my past.
Seeking Big Changes vs Fighting for the Status Quo
So we fight it out amidst the invisible monster jumping from body to body. What will the world look like when it’s past and the virus has run its course?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 22, 2020
My son, like so many other two-year-olds, loves ambulances and firetrucks. To occupy him, I’ll sometimes let him watch 9/11 news reports on YouTube.
In Cody Pomeray's Room
I wanted to play but wanted to watch more. Swatched in blue light and old music and a pilled blanket that wasn't mine. That island would look differently if I was in charge. I would not elect this. Responsible for spires upon spires of invisible real estate.
The Inability to Hear What is Being Said Plus the Belief in Horseshit Makes a Really Bad Trip
Everyone—even those who exclusively watch FOX News and somehow find the Donald to be inspiring rather than a fucking embarrassment—is hearing the words being said by those most credible (“Stay inside. Wash your hands. Avoid crowds. Flatten the curve”) yet cannot quite grasp the meaning.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Dr. Trump
I may not be a real doctor, but I still bill like one. See you in church! Or court!
I Like to Watch | The Postman (1997)
I am most taken by the idea that the thing needed to unite us as a country is simple correspondence. Mail delivered and received. Making the postman a mythic figure connecting disparate groups and loved ones.
Costco and the Apocalypse
We are all connected . . .
I Believe… [Crisis Management]
I believe… that how you behave in a crisis will determine how well you do once it’s passed.
Final Summation Review Report and Log of Science Team Executive Lieutenant Dr. Lana VanDavis - June, 2032 -
On a brief recreational fishing expedition lead by Captain Max Goldwell, we discovered more advanced stages of Gyre Syndrome had already occurred in some populations of larger sealife- turtles and whales specifically. It sounds like a terrible thing, but really it managed to be an extraordinary physiological phenomena tantamount to a mid-21st century evolution. The last collusion in the name of the pursuit of perfection between man’s desires and nature’s will.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.