Hope Idiotic | Part II
Moonlighting as a drunkard, Chuck Keller was the assistant manager of the communications department at palm gaming, the largest hotel and casino company in Las Vegas and the world. After Chuck graduated from Nevada State, he was hired as the news editor for Valley Life, the alternative weekly rag, where I worked as the A&E editor.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Expelliarmus, Harry Potter!
This could be a gig for me. I get bonuses for exorcisms.
Hardware, Software, and What to Call the Apple Running Windows
When it comes to those sometimes brave, sometimes narcissistic folks born in the wrong biology, I suppose I just don’t get the hostility against them. It was once explained to me that all computers are basically the same machine. Some may have a few more ports or gadgets attached in construction but an iMac is substantially the same as a Dell. It is the software that truly changes the game.
FAQs: My Hair
Oh, what an interesting style/color. What does your <boyfriend/husband/male partner> think about it?
A. I don’t give a shit.
I Believe... [We Hate the Ones We Feed]
…that your stance against billionaires is only undercut by your reliance on a gas-powered vehicle, your adherence to googling things when you want to know something, wearing shoes made by mega-corporations, and your lunch at McDonalds/Burger King/Popeyes/KFC/Taco Bell.
Hope Idiotic | Part I
SHORTLY AFTER THE HEIGHT OF AMERICA’S FLAGRANT PATRIOTISM FOLLOWING 9/11, and just before the dawn of The Great Recession, there existed a wonderful Italian restaurant called Bella’s Ristorante. It was built into the foothills of the Black Mountain Range just outside of Las Vegas in Henderson, Nevada, a few short and dusty miles from the Strip at the edge of a wealthy suburban subdivision. My best friends Chuck Keller and Lou Bergman adored the place.
Taiga
There’s a reason why the flames lick higher and higher…
The Most Dangerous Breed
Ban the pit bulls! They bite! They have muscles! They have terrible owners! They hog all the covers!
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 25, 2019
Sometimes, the book’s dedication comes before anything else. Everything you make needs to have a reason and an audience.
Carrie
After two hours, I got another text:
“omg this uber guy took me to an empty parking lot and said I had to blow him. I screamed and Sugar barked so he did drive me to the airport but I got here too late so missed the flight. Promise to make next one in two hours, kissesJ
The Infantilization of Other People
An element of our reducing groups into easier to digest figurines, the stereotyping of people in order to process the ridiculous numbers surrounding us, is to almost unconsciously assume some sort of base stupidity on their part for choices they make.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump vs Weather
Ka-blooey! No more hurricane. It’s science.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | Love Notes
Beware: Mushy stuff ahead. God stuff. Love stuff. This is what I feel.
Competing in the Victimhood Marketplace is More Difficult Than It Used to Be
Victim status has gained genuine ground in terms of restitution to the victims of medical malpractice, the poisoning of water in rural areas, and the burning of a woman's labia by way of an incredibly hot cup of coffee.
I Believe... [The Poster Child of the Early 21st Century]
…that the poster child of the early 21st Century is a twenty-year-old wearing ass-less chaps, misspelled tattoos, and a multi-colored bandanna taking Instagram selfies with a sign that says “Don’t Judge Me.”
Ben Ridley is a Killer
A novel excerpt from the newly released “The Lyrebird Threat,” Ben Ridley returns from an assignment and gives a small window into the madness that haunts him.
Weeping in the Dentist's Chair — Four Poems Featuring Teeth
In either case you’re pretty lucky. Your ache is not as bad as the ache-ache-bleed-bleed of some others who need constant medicine and other means to help ease and regulate the symptoms.
Long Train Running: A Chicago Marathon Story | Chapter 6 — 16 Post-run Requirements
Running is as much a mental game as it is physical. My trick to placing well in races when I ran cross-country in high school was to tell myself, “The faster you run, the sooner it’s over.” That doesn’t work when there are 26.2 miles ahead of you. You have to take each mile on its own or group a few together. Make the marathon bite-sized. Savor it. Until that last mile. The faster you run, the sooner it’s over. But even when you’re done running, you’re not done quite yet.
Here are sixteen post-run requirements every distance runner must complete after each long run.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 18, 2019
Wedding toasts that mention God or Jesus are fine. Wedding toasts that detail the speaker’s marital troubles are not. But they do make for some thoughtful laughs.
God Makes an Omelet
Morning has broken.
First me, then you, then the country
strewn left and right, spoiled
The second voice arrived on Thursday morning while Monte was attempting to make toast.