Don Hall 8/19/19 Don Hall 8/19/19

I Believe... [Bill Hader Deep Fake]

…that the deep fake of Bill Hader transforming back and forth into Tom Cruise is so fucked up I now think I believe in the power of Satan.

Jenni Thurston 8/19/19 Jenni Thurston 8/19/19

How To Hide A Body In Illinois

In this novel excerpt from “The Lyrebird Threat,” the Mimic works against the clock to carry out her sinister and bloody revenge.

Elizabeth Harper 8/18/19 Elizabeth Harper 8/18/19

The News and My Feelings

I know the news is not about my feelings.

Don Hall 8/17/19 Don Hall 8/17/19

A Woke Warrior Walks Into a Bar…

David Himmel 8/16/19 David Himmel 8/16/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 11, 2019

If I am to die shrouded in suspected criminal activity, promise me you’ll refer to me by my three names and only by my three names. “David Isaac Himmel, the alleged political assassin and box wine bootlegger, spent time as a teenager in the Ozark Mountains hunting squirrel and shooting old Pepsi cans with a .30-30 muzzleloader. He was also really good at driving stick shift in San Francisco.”

Sheri Reda 8/16/19 Sheri Reda 8/16/19

Additions to Sam Johnson's Dictionary

fetal supremacist (n.): A person who simultaneously advocates to curb abortions and abolish food stamps. i.e. The fetal supremacist wanted to revoke citizenship for children born in border states.

Contributing Writer 8/15/19 Contributing Writer 8/15/19

Humans are Inherently Good

I truly believe now that we are all inherently good and are trying our best. We may fail a lot. But we really are good.

Exhibit A: Love. Love, actually, is all around. With few exceptions, we inherently love our families and our friends.

Exhibit B: Look around you. Look how many people are currently not murdering someone.

That’s good. High five, all of you.

Joe Janes 8/14/19 Joe Janes 8/14/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Archangel Alliance Committee on Human Affairs

Asking people to see their halos creates a hostile environment.

Contributing Writer 8/14/19 Contributing Writer 8/14/19

Humans are Scum

I cannot express how excited I am. Because over the past couple weeks since I was assigned this topic, I’ve been overwhelmed by this deep, dark despair. But in the next few minutes, I get to unload it all onto you, and then I can resume the carefree complacency to which I’ve grown accustomed.

You. People. Suck.

It’s true and you all know it and here are seven reasons why.

MT Cozzola 8/13/19 MT Cozzola 8/13/19

Tips from The Universal Household Assistant | Forcing the Beard—liquid for.—

Then I realize that even if I’m right, hearing that you are an emotional seven-year-old while you’re sitting in the Social Security waiting room might not be very helpful. Because growing up is hard enough when you’re a kid. How are you supposed to start when you’re already an adult?

Don Hall 8/12/19 Don Hall 8/12/19

I Believe... [Video Games do not Cause Terrorism]

…that blaming video games and movies on mass shooters is like blaming the election of Donald Trump on the Russians.

Erik Lewin 8/12/19 Erik Lewin 8/12/19

5 Short Poems

Jenni Thurston 8/11/19 Jenni Thurston 8/11/19

The Time Aaron's Roommate Murdered His Date

An excerpt from the newly released novel, “The Lyrebird Threat” out on Amazon.com, describing in full detail the exact events that revealed to Aaron his roommate is an operative for a secret sub-branch of government. Not an ideal date, but it could have gone worse.

Chris Churchill 8/10/19 Chris Churchill 8/10/19

Chris Churchill Saves the World | Parables for Terrible Times

There once was a kid running home from school, trying to get to the safety and comfort of his home toilet. He realized he wouldn’t make it. A glowing orb granted him permission to shit on the ground.

David Himmel 8/9/19 David Himmel 8/9/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 4, 2019

Perception is not reality. Something that’s unfun for one person does not make it unfun for everyone. It doesn’t take a village, it takes enough people in that village.

Even the good insurgencies, over time, become the establishment.

David Himmel 8/8/19 David Himmel 8/8/19

Feeling Low? Visit a Bookstore or Attend a Funeral

The bookstore is a perfect rescue vessel because it gets me out of the house, puts me face-to-face with the common unwashed I have managed to loathe almost as much as I’d been loathing myself, and doesn’t lead me to further self-destruction through vices of solitude like having a drink or seventeen at a corner tavern. Once there, my regret and hope squirt out of my pores like a well-hardened blackhead from my nose. And for me, when my regret and hope get together, that’s when solutions, inspiration, and energy are made.

Joe Janes 8/7/19 Joe Janes 8/7/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Active Shooter Play of the Day!

Clearly there is an audience for this.

Don Hall 8/6/19 Don Hall 8/6/19

I Like to Watch | Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood

In that pursuit, I find examples of men who are tough but not belligerent, charming but not smarmy, unquestioningly loyal but not lap dogs in movie characters. Avatars of masculinity without machismo to model our behavior. Gentlemen with that Gene Autry sense of duty to women, children, and those not in the power position in the American pursuit of happiness. The guys who can beat the crap out of a Nazi but use that aggression wisely rather than lord it over the weak.

Don Hall 8/5/19 Don Hall 8/5/19

I Believe… [I Have a Dream — Set in a Casino]

…that a casino is the true example of a melting pot of diversity: rich, poor, black, brown, white, English, Spanish, Japanese, German, fat, thin, straight, gay. You wanna see the America you dream of, go to Vegas.

Paul Teodo 8/5/19 Paul Teodo 8/5/19

Termination

Eriksen liked to stand out in red short-sleeve scrubs and extra-long gloves, blasting ZZ Top as he sawed, hammered and sewed on the orthopedically damaged suburbanites hoping to improve their less than stellar golf or tennis games. On occasion, especially in summer, I’d catch him in shorts. “Bjorn,” I’d scold him like a recalcitrant kindergartner, “put your pants on, Infection Control.”