The Dogma of Measurement and Metrics: When #Hustle Defines Who You Are
Success in any field is definitely a numbers game but, aside from hard income versus expenditure, the rest is just made-up nonsense designed to sell you the idea that by devoting your every waking hour to the job (or jobs or side jobs or avocations) you will be the model of success.
FAQs: Ethical Nonmonogamy (Part 1)
What is ethical nonmonogamy?
Ethical nonmonogamy refers to any relationship which meets the following criteria:
It is not monogamous
All parties involved know that the relationship is not monogamous
All parties involved consent to being in a relationship that is not monogamous
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 24, 2019
Personalities can be awful when there’s more than one in a room.
Your Life Is Not Like the Movies Part 2
A couple of years ago I penned a piece that broke down some basic ways movies distort our version of ourselves because, face it, like most storytelling, movies are made of lies we really want to be true. Looks like it’s time for another take on this idea:
American Shithole #49 | Welcome Back, Cohen
“He is a racist. He is a Conman. He is a cheat.”
- Michael Cohen, on Donald Trump during his opening statement.
“Damn, save that for your closer, Michael!” I blurted at the television.
The Day I Visited Animal Jail
I had never been inside the Humane Society before. Whenever I talk dogs with people they tell me to avoid that place because it’s a kill shelter and no one should support a kill shelter. But I always thought that if we don’t adopt the animals from those places, we’re sentencing them to death. Plus, if you aren’t picky about a breed or age of your dog you may as well go to a shelter and take one home. Right?
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Presidential Committee on Climate Security Chair Interview
We are just one big tiddly-wink floating in the solar system.
If You Believed the Lie, It is not the Liar’s Fault
My belief was not about him or his lie. My belief was about me and my perception of myself. Are we becoming like that segment of Trump supporters who hate the other side so much that they’d accept the blatant lie out of spite?
It’s Election Day in Chicago: A Deconstructed Love Story
It’s election day in Chicago, which means it’s the day citizens of this Third Coast Second City bring out their dead to partake in the American right to screw themselves at the polls.
Since its incorporation on March 4, 1837, Chicago has been the place for people who want to be punished. There are the winters, the Cubs and the Bears, the Daley Family, the pot holes, and, of course, the crime. And by crime, I mean the politicians and the police. Yes, the city has its positives, too. There’s the lake and its shoreline, the architecture, the Blackhawks, Stephanie Izard, the excitement of not knowing whether the improv show you’re about to see is going to be incredible or give you cause to wish for a swift and vicious cancer to eat you and every player on stage alive.
Chicago, we don’t deserve better — we’ve done this to ourselves for almost two hundred years — but we should want better. And if we’re as tough as we brag to be, we can have it.
I Believe… [Getting Lost is the Road to the New]
…that the best way to discover a new city is to put the GPS away, hop in the car, and drive until you are hopelessly lost. You look around and see the corners and turns, the businesses and people, then find your way back. Repeat.
Noble X — Episode 21: Bundles of Love
At the end of his statement, he ends the call abruptly and gets back to work on his bundles of love while Ms. Carlin and the others sit in the thick quiet before a school day begins, trying to shake their nasty intuitions that something is not at all right with Mr. Noble.
Group…oh come on!
Sean and Ellen met on Bumble. Their first date was a standard drink at a bar in Roscoe Village. The date lasted three hours and the conversation flowed well.
Their second date was for dinner. The night went well but then, the bill came.
I Want to Be the Core Holding in Your Hedge Fund of Pussy
You date like you're running a hedge fund, always keeping some women on the side just in case your current main squeeze doesn't work out, is busy or out of town, or pisses you off…
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 17, 2019
• Forgiveness is not valued enough. And too often, it’s not even attempted. And that’s why we’re doomed.
• I feel a crushing amount of guilt and regret for thinking that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is an attractive person. I feel the same way about Ivanka Trump.
Harmless Experiment — A Terrible Serial Killer
“Mom, the good news is I’d make an awful serial killer,” I said, tears wetting my cheeks.
American Shithole #48 | Feel the (Rug) Bern
For me though, I remember the feeling I had when a true progressive — one completely untethered from the klepto-capitalist clutches of billionaires, boardrooms, and banks (That’s a Lois Lane level of alliteration!) — was running against Hillary Clinton; and winning.
A Surly Serbian Marie Kondo Broke My Shit
To provide indisputable proof that life is chaos and there is no justice in the world, Matthew’s four boxes filled with nothing more than more empty boxes made it unscathed.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force
We’re being SUED and then we’ll be SUED again until it goes to the supreme COURT and we win when Kavanaugh’s vote butt CHUGS it in people’s faces.
Minding My Own Business
I watch birds fly and I wonder what that would be like. I see bees working together to get pollen and I wonder what that would be like. (By the way, I feel bad when I trap a fly in my car, because, you know, he’s never gonna find his way home.) I feel like I’d like to be a wolf or a bear. And, I also look at other groups of people, and I wonder what that would be like. That wondering about what it would be like to be them, often gives way to a jealousy about not being them.
I Believe... [“Fragile” is an Invitation for Abuse]
...that the height of delusional expectation is demonstrated most clearly when you write “Fragile” on a box being moved 2,000 miles cross-country. It’s like the box is a fat kid with a perpetually snotty nose in tight yellow Adidas shorts and a stutter — the bullies get in line to toss him under a couch.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.