Group…oh come on!

Group…oh come on!

I tried not to judge Ellen when she gave Sean a third date. The second date was a disaster but, what did she really have to lose?

Sean and Ellen met on Bumble. Their first date was a standard drink at a bar in Roscoe Village. The date lasted three hours and the conversation flowed well.

Their second date was for dinner. The night went well but then, the bill came.

This is what a Groupon looks like when a dude carries it around.

This is what a Groupon looks like when a dude carries it around.

Sean reached for the check and slapped down a crumpled up Groupon. No judgement from Ellen as she is an avid Groupon user. But what happened next caused major disdain.

“We are not accepting Groupon’s for our Happy Hour because our Happy Hour is actually a better deal.” The waitress informed us.

“Why was I not told this before we ordered?” Sean huffily asked.

“Would you like to speak to a manager?”

“No, it’s fine. Fuck Groupon.” On that cue, the waitress left but Sean continued.

“That bitch is not getting a tip. She should have told us this before we ordered.”

“You should have told her you had a Groupon! You can’t punish her because of the restaurant’s policy. You better tip her.” Ellen firmly placed her stance.

“Whatever. She chooses to work here. It’s not my fault she works at this crappy place.”

“Well, this was your crappy choice!”

Awkward silence followed for what felt like 30 minutes, but was really 30 seconds.

“Fine.” Sean threw down two dollars. Two. Dollars.

Ellen was disgusted but didn’t want to cause a scene. She made sure to remember the waitress’ name and came back the next day with a better tip.

Sean continued to text Ellen and Ellen continued to respond. They set up a date for the next week and Sean used another Groupon!

Ellen ghosted him after that.

Noble X — Episode 21: Bundles of Love

Noble X — Episode 21: Bundles of Love

I Want to Be the Core Holding in Your Hedge Fund of Pussy

I Want to Be the Core Holding in Your Hedge Fund of Pussy