The Archeology of a Rolling Stone
I’m not nostalgic for the place but I feel that tug of melancholy leaving behind the memories. Yet the best part about memories is that, at least until I get that delicious dementia, they come with me.
Progressive Unity in the Face of MAGA
"OK. To start off, I want to open up the discussion with a simple question. Was a vote for Donald Trump a racist act? If he ran his campaign on racist rhetoric was the act of voting for him a sign that you are a racist as well?"
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 3, 2019
Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is an opportunity. Knowledge is cunning.
The White People I Hate
I’m a white guy. My wife is white, by today’s standards anyway. By that, I mean she’s Sicilian. She doesn’t speak Italian but her parents did. She is of Sicilian descent, shall we say. And there was a time not too long ago in American history where Italians, specifically Sicilians (you know, the brownish ones), we’re not truly considered white. Maybe the measure back then was, “Would they sell him the KKK robe?” And the answer in my wife’s parents’ case would be “No. Don’t sell those Sicilians this nice, fresh, white KKK robe.” See what I mean. Societal constructs, blah blah blah, etc.
American Shithole #46 | The Beautiful Things: PBS
Look, I’m a statist. I’m hardwired for cooperation. I like societies. I like the things societies provide. I don’t think it would be better if society collapsed and I had to shit in the woods every day.
When I think of PBS, I think of the very best our society has to offer.
PBS: Because nobody really likes to shit in the woods.
The Roller Coaster Bluff and James T. Kirk
Confidence isn’t a super power or a magic trick. It’s a delusion that can reap amazing benefits in the real.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | More Troops Being Deployed to Border
I thought we were only going to use the caravan threat in election years.
Hair Club for Dicks
I had never fallen this fast. Usually it takes me at least five dates to develop even a smidgen of feelings. This was different.
I am so Woke that it Seems like I’m Asleep but I’m not Because of My Wokeness: I’m Ready For 2020
The ramp up to Election 2020 is exactly what a cisgender, straight, white male ally needs to gin up the outrage and pick apart any hope for a Leftist Revolution to occur.
I Believe… [Why Billionaires Shouldn't Run For Public Office]
…that the notion that billionaires are more qualified than others to run the country is founded on the capitalist belief that CEOs are somehow better leaders due to their success in swindling others to amass an unnecessary and obscene fortune. Creating wealth is a fundamentally selfish pursuit; civil service is a selfless occupation. We shouldn’t mix the two.
Fairy Tales Gone Awry
Disembodied photographs, disentangled lies
enumerating my descent, diagramming my surprise.
Fifty Three Years and A Shot
In the annual tradition of penning a list of things I learned in the year, year 53 has been a doozy.
Woke Super Bowl Commercials
Volkswagen – “Schindler’s Car”
Popular VW models transform into one another through the decades bringing us to today.
[V.O. – MAN]
A lot has changed in eighty years.
The way we live. The way we drive. The way we don’t kill Jews.
The all new 2019 Volkswagen Jetta. It’s not a Jew killer.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 27, 2019
It’s too soon to write Howard Schultz off as yet another oligarch or self-serving rich pud like Ross Perot with a self-righteous taste for the presidency. Just as I think it’s too soon to think that AOC is the Second Coming of Christ. Give them time. Maybe things’ll play out different than we assume. Maybe.
American Shithole #45 | D Minus Still Passes, Right Roger Stone?
Aliens only stop here when their intergalactic junker breaks down, or when they’ve foolishly run out of space gas — so every once in a long while, one of them gets stranded.
Here’s what I’m thinking… I’m pretty sure they left us Roger Stone.
Take Risks. What Else Are You Here For?
I know a thousand people terrified to jump out of a plane, tell a story onstage, quit a job they aren’t suited for, move away from an established stomping ground. I know a thousand people and they all know a thousand people who, in turn know another thousand who fear risking humiliation or failure than to step up and step out and do something risky or stupid or both in pursuit of a goal that may not seem reasonable.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Donner Party
George – Maybe we could order Grub Hub.
A Life Lesson from the Frozen Mailman
Perhaps he turned down my offer to warm up, thaw his beard, and revive his nose because he knew, as too many of us never learn or learn too late, that once you stop something you set out to achieve, it’s nearly impossible to start again.
Be Vulgar
Everyone loves their own truths. Everyone has, as the Hindus acknowledge in their greeting, “namasté,” that part of them which is eternal. That is the important part.
I Believe… [No. You Come See MY Show...]
…that in the wake of goodbyes and farewells associated with leaving Chicago, your request that I come see your show before I leave is just so baldly self-promotional it renders me cold and crunchy.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.