Thou Doth Protest Too Much is Likely a Predator
Contributing Writer Contributing Writer

Thou Doth Protest Too Much is Likely a Predator

My newsfeed is inundated with people digitally crying over Kavanaugh’s advance and rightfully so. I can’t help but wonder how many of these digital tears are from closeted abusers. A closeted abuser is someone that seems, to the naked eye, like a totally normal guy.

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Love Curse — Part VIII: The Conclusion
Contributing Writer Contributing Writer

Love Curse — Part VIII: The Conclusion

LEN AWOKE HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE CEILING IN SOME TYPE OF SMALL, DARK, BROKEN DOWN SHACK. An old hag was below him chewing off his fingernails. He tried to scream but realized that his tongue had been ripped from his mouth.

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Notes From the Chippewa Moraine
Kari Castor Kari Castor Kari Castor Kari Castor

Notes From the Chippewa Moraine

If you’ve never woken alone in the middle of the night to the sound of a coyote screaming about 50 feet from your campsite, then drifted nearly back to sleep only to hear it cry again, closer this time, and then lope straight through your camp, you’ve missed out on a truly unsettled night’s sleep.

These backpacking trips are an opportunity to get away from the world. Maybe more importantly, they’re an opportunity to get out of my own head.

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Love Curse — Part VI
Joe Janes Joe Janes Joe Janes Joe Janes

Love Curse — Part VI

HOPE SAT QUIETLY. She noticed she had done that thing again. Where she disappears in plain sight. Her mind wondering how she got there. There was a champagne glass in her hand.

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Who are These Fucking Rapey Dudes
Don Hall Don Hall Don Hall Don Hall

Who are These Fucking Rapey Dudes

I’ve never met an incel, at least not a card-carrying one or one who admitted it, let alone a “He-Man Woman Hater.” I can’t think of a time when I was friends with a dude who thought it was anything but vile stupidity to cat-call a woman on the street or from a car. Granted, I quit theater years ago, don’t hang out much in comedy clubs and decided that the improv scene was far too much like high school so maybe I’m missing out on all the dripping toxicity of dudes who are doing everything they can to be seen as funny and cool in order to get laid, sometimes at any cost.

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Love Curse — Part V
J.L. Thurston Jenni Thurston J.L. Thurston Jenni Thurston

Love Curse — Part V

LEN BEGAN TO CRY. Sara sighed an exasperated growl that came out more growl than sigh. The sound caused Len’s eyes to grow large. As large as full moons.

With his stupid haircut and his two full moon eyes, his face was ridiculous. She could kill him. Really kill him.

“Jesus, what’s wrong with Sara?” one of the other jerks gasped.

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Love Curse — Part IV
Paul Teodo Paul Teodo Paul Teodo Paul Teodo

Love Curse — Part IV

She hated people who needed clarification. “Do you need clarification often? Are you frequently confused?” He was lost and she didn’t care. She decided then to pursue his demise.

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Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of September 16, 2018
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of September 16, 2018

I’m canceling my subscription to Esquire after more than a decade of being a loyal subscriber and reader. Since Jay Fielden became editor-in-chief, it’s become an apologetic magazine for angry feminists and their terrified husbands. Granted, the reporting and fiction is still of value but it’s become too hard for me to get past the loaded front half of the rag — even flipping through it — without getting annoyed or feeling talked down to. I’ll miss you, Esquire, but I’ve missed you for a few years now.

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Love Curse — Part III
Kari Castor Kari Castor Kari Castor Kari Castor

Love Curse — Part III

She liked Len okay, really. She just didn’t true love love him. They barely knew each other. They’d met on a Tuesday, gone home together on Wednesday, and by Friday decided to go all in on the whole “boyfriend/girlfriend” thing. She’d taken things slow with her last relationship, after all, and look how that turned out. She wished Len would stop letting his mom cut his hair and go to a real barber for fuck’s sake, but the sex was good and they got along smoothly enough.

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American Shithole #26 — A Remarkable, Unremarkable Day
American Shithole Contributing Writer American Shithole Contributing Writer

American Shithole #26 — A Remarkable, Unremarkable Day

Imagine you’re standing in the middle of a busy airport. Passengers crowd past you in every direction. Looking up at the arrivals and departures; all flights are delayed.  Suddenly, the entire board changes — rows and columns of numbers and letters flip with the familiar clickety-clack, clickety-clack of the old, analog displays — revealing only destinations on your bucket list, as the throngs of weary travelers part before you like the Red Sea.

That’s how I felt today.

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Love Curse — Part II
David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

Love Curse — Part II

This graveyard had a reputation for being haunted. But what graveyard wasn’t? By the time they got there, she thought, this van would be haunted with the ghosts of what she’d rather have been doing. Playing old SEGA Genesis video games; binge watching Arrested Development; sleeping on the couch with a partially chewed bite of Tony’s frozen cheese pizza in her mouth. She caved to hanging out only after her boyfriend, Len, promised they’d spend all next weekend at home on the couch.

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