Elizabeth Harper 8/7/18 Elizabeth Harper 8/7/18

Freedom and Truth

I'd rather be truthful than cheerful.
I'd rather have a monkey on my back than be one

Don Hall 8/6/18 Don Hall 8/6/18

I Believe… [Embracing Your Emotional Superpower]

...that, when being forced to work with a former assistant who demonstrated mendacity, casual ruthlessness and generally low character in the past, being someone capable of compartmentalizing emotions and reactions is like a fucking superpower.

Kari Castor 8/6/18 Kari Castor 8/6/18

On Writers and Saints

I’m not a perfect person. I make no claims of sainthood. Here, if you like, is a litany of some of my faults: I’m an arrogant, know-it-all bitch. I’m stubborn, often to a fault. I hold people to extremely high standards. I’m inclined to fits of pettiness, and I tend to hold grudges basically forever. Despite having spent years preaching to my students constantly about how there’s no shame in needing help, I’m lousy at asking for it for myself. I don’t have much interest in privacy. I will brook almost no opposition to my right to do as I fucking well please.

Mike Vinopal 8/5/18 Mike Vinopal 8/5/18

Noble X - Episode 7: Testing

John is making quite the commotion. Ms. West looks on, distracted by all the activity on John’s side of the room. Scooting tables and chairs around. Sharpening pencils. She interjects, “Mr. Noble, can we talk about testing?” and John stops abruptly. “Sure,” he replies while resisting the urge to job over to her desk. He can see slight alarm on her face.

Don Hall 8/4/18 Don Hall 8/4/18

Judged a Total Loss by a Complete Sham

I’m still with Progressive but I’m down to the most basic, General Liability policy they have because, apparently, Full Coverage doesn’t mean a fucking thing.

David Himmel 8/3/18 David Himmel 8/3/18

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 29, 2018

I was in traffic the other day on the Kennedy. Saw a billboard that said, “Abortion takes away human life.” OK, but making the case to add more human lives to the planet when people are stuck in traffic isn’t the most effective way to communicate that message. This is basic marketing. This was poor media placement. You want a billboard to be effective to the people stuck in traffic? Slap up a billboard promoting the benefits of genocide.

Jenni Thurston 8/3/18 Jenni Thurston 8/3/18

Real Life Ghost Stories: The Witch's Chair

Nervous footfalls, quickened from anxiety, make soft tapping sounds on the pavement only to be swallowed up in the night. The neighborhood is quiet, dark, sleeping. The trees loom overhead like skeleton arms reaching out to stop you. Turn back, they call out in silent voices. Go home.

David Himmel 8/2/18 David Himmel 8/2/18

Conversations with Whores

Old men with cheap cigars talking to half naked women, who can’t waste too much time with one guy because it’s all about turnover. Beyoncé was playing on the jukebox and it sounded out of place. Hip-Hop didn’t belong there. It was too cool for what was really going on.

Joe Janes 8/1/18 Joe Janes 8/1/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Religious Liberty Task Force

There are no atheist’s in a fox’s hole.

Don Hall 8/1/18 Don Hall 8/1/18

White Privilege: Finding Pragmatics Apart from Spiritual Dogma

The automatic response to a white guy rejecting this approach is that it makes me uncomfortable and that I’m fragile. I’m anything but uncomfortable with having conversations. I believe that dialogue rather simply being told to shut up and listen is the key to growth. That said, having a dialogue about sin with a religious zealot is a cul de sac from which there is no escape.

William Arnett 7/31/18 William Arnett 7/31/18

I Know You're Depressed, But What Am I?

This depression is not the cryptic voice of a mountain shaman, filled with deep truths waiting to be deciphered. It is apart from me. It’s goal is only pain, not enlightenment. It is the voice of a playground bully, intentionally finding old wounds to pick at, cruelly leveraging insecurities and cherry-picking past events to spin as negative. Nothing more.

Don Hall 7/30/18 Don Hall 7/30/18

I Believe… [Things I Can Do Without]

…that, aside from venereal disease and being centipeded to someone who only eats Taco Bell, I can't think of almost anything I'd want less than a foldable smartphone.

Elizabeth Harper 7/29/18 Elizabeth Harper 7/29/18

Voting Feels Like Date Rape

“You should have known he was a liar and a manipulator.
How stupid are you?
Can’t you tell a liar and a manipulator and a charmer
when you see one?”

Don Hall 7/28/18 Don Hall 7/28/18

Working on #5-7: Compassion is a Gift not a Transaction

You receive compassion by demonstrating it. That’s it. That’s the only way.

David Himmel 7/27/18 David Himmel 7/27/18

Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 22, 2018

• The body wash I use in my showers has “Enviro-Friendly Microbeads.” What? I don’t care about the environment right now. I care if this soap is going to clean off the dookie that’s made its way halfway up my tailbone.

Contributing Writer 7/27/18 Contributing Writer 7/27/18

Required Watching: "Nuts!" (2016)

I know what you're thinking, and are absolutely correct: this is about goat balls. Specifically, about Dr. John R. Brinkley, who in the 1910s developed a cure for impotence by suturing goat testicles into scrotums. He claimed to have done this thousands of times, which is at least partially supported by the fact that he made millions off of it.

Don Hall 7/26/18 Don Hall 7/26/18

Body Shaming Confession

I have been guilty of body shaming, too.

Jenni Thurston 7/26/18 Jenni Thurston 7/26/18

The End of Friendship

A few months ago, I drove by their old place and noticed with a pang of shock that their house had been torn down. It is now just an empty lot, full of space and memories.

Joe Janes 7/25/18 Joe Janes 7/25/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Emergency Cat Meeting

Bongo: When I bite him, he thinks I’m being playful. Maybe I need to chew through the bone next time.

Mike Vinopal 7/25/18 Mike Vinopal 7/25/18

Noble X - Episode 6: Filters Off

John continues to grow in size as he advances on his future self and proceeds to refuse this destiny with skill and agility, deftly attacking with the precision of a ninja. Ready to beg for mercy on his knees, John towers above his future self.