Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of March 25, 2018
• Easter was canceled. They found the body.
Stevie
My son Paul was starting to come through. His cocky smugness began to vanish. The good kid I knew that was deep down inside him was starting to peek out from behind his veneer of twelve-year-old arrogance.
American Shithole #10 — Sports and Politics
Shared interest in a sports team is a great way for two disparate people to find common ground. In America, many fathers and sons have relied on this fact for more than a century. At the end of the day though, it’s still a bunch of folks playing bouncy ball, or batty ball, or kicky ball, or throw that ball, and I’m not going to make small talk about sports with you, just to save you the embarrassment of defending your shitty ideas about the current state of American politics.
On Avoiding Hysteria in Hysterical Times
"I think you might have bed bugs," she said. She had spent the night and when I took her home, she had gone back to sleep. When she woke up, she had welts all over back and arms. It seemed unlikely to me that that had come from my bed because I never had any bug bites. I slept in that bed every night and no bites, so I figured they must have come from someplace else.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Batman Gets Kicked Out of The Justice League
Batman – Sorry I didn’t come from another planet like you, or that I’m not some meta-human freak, or a woman. I have money and I have bullets. And a cool car.
In the Springtime of My Dystopia
There were signs. There were warnings.
We were too in love to pay much attention.
It was merely some background noise,
some clatter, inconvenient clutter.
What were those politicians droning on about?
Overly made-up talk show hosts harping on about
nonsense, trivialities, invented crises.
Grown men wearing the flag like a toga
or burning it in acts of performance art largesse.
Meet The Chicks Behind It All
Loose Chicks is a collection of courageous women who share experiences that most women keep to themselves. Each show features six exceptional writers and performers who allow themselves to be vulnerable as they share with uncommon honesty. Producer Roberta Miles and co-producer Jillian Erickson are The Chicks behind it all.
Serving Tacos to a Serial Killer in Training
And then I looked into the boy's eyes.
Not like a creepy thing — it wasn't as if I had to. It was as if I couldn't help it. For the boy's eyes were dead, malevolent, like an evil, lifeless doll or something. And I realized I was serving tortilla chips to a budding Jeffrey Dahmer.
I rationalized. Someone, somewhere, had to have served a glass of iced tea to John Wayne Gacy, right? Ed Gein probably was served breakfast at some diner by someone, yes?
![I Believe… [The Power of the People = Rich White Guys for Governor]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1521428103163-JYVHYHQ8LT6SGHL8T7CS/ibelieve....jpg)
I Believe… [The Power of the People = Rich White Guys for Governor]
…that when we have yet another election for Illinois governor between two white billionaires, we need to re-evaluate our strategies in convincing the population to vote for better. The "aren't we cool and progressive" smugness, the angry moralizing , and the appeals to be humane for all citizens don't seem to be working...
Illinois Democrats Just Reinforced Their Level of Idiocy
For a state with democrats who really hate President Donald Trump and their current GOP governor, Bruce Rauner, they sure did elect a democratic gubernatorial candidate a lot like them both. Illinois democrats elected J.B. Pritzker because Illinois democrats are idiots. This isn’t breaking news but it’s news worth reminding ourselves of because there’s a new twist to the idiocy.
A Few Pieces of Unsolicited Advice to Young Prince Harry Himmel
I'm old. I mean, way older than I look. I'm older than your grandparents even though I look younger than your dad. Old can mean decrepit and gassy but it can, in the best cases, mean wise. So, below is a stab at the latter for you.
Lives That Science Claimed: A Piece of Radiological History
Though the early deaths of Clarence Dally and Marie Curie were unnecessary and tragic, they did not die for nothing. Clarence Dally helped the world to realize the negative effects of radiation exposure, and Marie Curie gave the world courage to use radiation when needed.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of March 18, 2018
• Never mistake a lack of enthusiasm for a lack of care. Sometimes displaying enthusiasm is the same as walking into battle with your flak jacket in the Jeep and your shirt wide open.
The Answers to All the Great Mysteries Are Found in the Laundry
within the simple task of gathering up your smelly socks and the pair of jeans with the ketchup stain near the crotch and hopefully using that Tide Pod for its intended use is the all important, elusive Meaning of Life.
American Shithole #9 — Robert Mercer, Part One: Cambridge Analytica
American Shithole has its own crack team of investigative journalists, and our operatives — working deep undercover — were able to procure a top secret list of other gifts and services Cambridge Analytica reserved for its highest paying clients.
The Mass Shooters Secret Weapons
Mass shooters possess three secret weapons that will always give them the upper hand.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Poor People Meet to Get Out the Vote
COMMUNITY ORGANIZER - Look, there are way more poor people than rich people in this country. The rich people are controlling our government. We can vote for people who genuinely care about us. People who don’t own more than one house. People who remember what it is like to be poor and want to help.
HECKLER #1 - Help others? Sounds like commie talk.
Betty Boop Shaves Her Legs and Hooha for Her Big Date
"Oh, I have to hurry up and get ready for my date with Mr. Wonderful. I just wish he had given me more notice. That would have been more considerate than this boop-oop-a-doop booty call. I have to take a shower and shave my legs and everything down there and clip my nails and fix my hair and put on my stockings and fix my makeup and change the sheets and clean the bathroom and the kitchen and tidy up and put the condoms on the nightstand. Where's the lube?"
The Long Road to the Trump Presidency and Where We Go From Here
On the ListServ (a prehistoric version of Faceborg and Twitter) you find a thread espousing the new GOP-driven “Contract with America.” Users with fake names espousing the “Taking Back Our Streets Act” and the “Personal Responsibility Act” and conspiracy theories about then President Bill Clinton and his “manly” First Lady.
“Who pays attention to this shit?” you ask after perusing the thread for three hours. The irony is lost on you.
![I Believe… [Poor People Remind Us the System is Screwed]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1520968716798-JB7GVC1ON2G6YPFAH0Q5/ibelieve....jpg)
I Believe… [Poor People Remind Us the System is Screwed]
…that Americans hate the poor because poor people remind them how rigged the capitalist system is against anyone not born into wealth. No one wants some smelly, homeless former public school teacher demonstrating the thinness of the ice one stands upon.
If you’re not feeling the Holiday Spirit, turn on Elvis’ Christmas album. That’ll do the trick. Every time. Guaranteed. Try it. You’ll thank me. You’ll thank me very much.