The Fight for Passion in a World Steeped in the Mediocre
Mediocrity is the acceptance of doing just enough to get away with it without rigorous interrogation of value. And by placing monetary value over experiential value, we reinforce the idea that success artistically is defined primarily by commerce and popularity.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of December 31, 2017
• I can easily find every excuse in the book to avoid writing a book.
Messed Up on a Friday
Messed up. Took my night meds in the morning because I was tired and in a hurry and didn't know what the fuck I was doing and was trying to blend a protein shake into yesterday's cold coffee, but it wouldn't dissolve so I tried the electric hand mixer and then the Cuisinart. And then it worked but it took too long and then I was worried the night meds would make me sleepy or act high during the day and I had to stand up all day and be nice to people and act like I cared when I just wanted to be in bed masturbating and sleeping.
The 5 Stages of Grief When You Realize God Is Dead
That’s the one thing atheists tend to forget: this is a process. You don’t just stop believing this stuff. It takes a long time. And it’s scary. You’re scared to look into the black hole, because all you see is darkness. You wonder how you’re even here at all. How are any of us here? Then you ask the question everyone gets to: “What keeps you from killing yourself?”
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Resist Leftist Insanity!
We want to make America great again. The leftist momma boys and momma girls and momma boygirls won’t be happy unil we’re all wearing diapers and Uncle Sam wipes everybody’s bung hole with taxpayer dimes.
American Discourse is an Ethnic Telephone Game
In most cases, the traditions in America were created by white people of European descent for white people of European descent. And when this nation was built, many of these white people thought that it would stay that way.
Would Luke Skywalker Vote Republican?
Would Luke Skywalker or Superman or Rambo ever vote for a Republican?
I Believe… [With a New Year Comes the Same Bullshit]
…that no matter how much you want the New Year page turn to open up to a whole new world, Donald Trump is still the fucking president.
Natural Causes
The smell of the salamis, capicola, and prosciutto hanging low from the ceiling of Stefano’s was distracting, but that’s where they played. I was never part of the game, but the guys let me watch.
A Year in Literate Ape: 2017
While Literate Ape is not quite a year old and we only started adding contributors in September, we figure it's that 'year end roundup' time. Below are links to some of our more popular pieces in 2017.
The Yin and Yang of 2017: An End of Year List
As we near the end of the year that history will unfortunately remember as an utter shitshow of misguided pride and crippling uncertainty, and in an effort to throw some end-of-the-year-list clickbait on Literate Ape to continue to expand readership, I’m going to present a list of both the good and the bad of 2017. Looking at the positive as well as the negative is something I'm trying to do more of. It keeps me swimming and in most cases, laughing. All I ask is that you do not mistake my positivity as anything remotely influenced by a life coach.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of December 24, 2017
• Soren Kierkgaard said, “People understand me so poorly that they don’t even understand my complaint about them not understanding me.” Bro, I feel you, really. I understand.
You Never Know What’s Coming: A Curious Case
It's nearly 2018. The page has turned. What are you going to do with it?
Not long ago, in the fall, I realized I had watched most of David Fincher's films multiple times but had only seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button once. While I'm not necessarily a completest by nature (the music of The Beatles, Clifford Brown, and John Williams being exceptions) I decided it was high time to revisit the tale of a man living life in reverse.
Predictions For 2018
Anyway, I'm the best one at this. I have a pretty good idea about what is going to happen in 2018. Here are the biggest revelations for the year to come!
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - 2017 Exit Interview
"...I didn’t wake up one morning and go, 'Tom Petty. I’m going to kill that guy.' That’s a whole other department that I have nothing to do with."
A Few Hours I'd Like Back: Bullshit Time Wasters of 2017
What a fucking year, amiright?
Holy crap. It boggles the tiny ape brain to even take a Faceborg trip through the timeline and revisit it. Like, it physically hurts the joints to reflect on all of the general awfulness of what will become known as The Year We All Lost Our Fucking Minds. I just puked a little on my pants typing that.
It's ending, though, which merits at least a quick listicle of things I wish I hadn't forced myself to experience and, goddamnit, I wish I could go back in time and get those precious hours of my life back.
Bag or Baby: Confirming My Excitement
My new leather bag and my baby are both currently in production. They’ll be here soon and I need to begin preparing myself for the change in routine. Just as my home office will move into Katie’s, my pencils and pens will sit in a different spot as they’re slung over my shoulder. Change is challenging. I have a really good idea of what my bag is going to look like. I chose the leather, size, pockets, lining. But I’m still not exactly sure what it will look like or how it will hold up and function. I have a really good idea what my kid is going to look like. It’s 50 percent me and 50 percent Katie. But I’m still not exactly sure what it will look like or how it will hold up and function.
I Believe… [Christmas Day 2017]
…that Christmas makes me realize how fragile we all are and how brilliantly heroic it is to simply survive on a ball of rock hurtling through space. We thrive in spite of our natures and the yin-yang of the best and worst parts of us is what makes humanity remarkable.
Unforging Marley's Chain: Redemption is Possible
For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause. Link by link, and yard by yard. The chain we forge in life.
He Was Born Of A Non-Virgin Non-Mary
He was born of a non-virgin non-Mary.
He was born a month prematurely, disrupting his mother’s plans for a large feast of Italian beef sandwiches, dipped, with all the fixings.
The second voice arrived on Thursday morning while Monte was attempting to make toast.