Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 18, 2020
Man’s worst invention was the wife.
Woman’s biggest mistake was thinking changing her husband would end well.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 11, 2020
Most of the drunks I’ve come to know are really fun and funny people. I miss carousing with and observing with their kind. It’s not COVID’s fault—it’s the fault of age, responsibility, and domestication. The silver lining is that my two-year-old son often acts and talks like a drunkard, which quenches my thirst for being among fun lunatics with bad habits.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 4, 2020
Mike Pence is a virgin. I know he has kids—it doesn’t matter. Mike Pence is a virgin.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 27, 2020
An adherence to the Myth of American Exceptionalism is a comfort from hardships and bad day, and that which we cannot control. It is religion. It is a baby blanket. It is our emotional support animal. Its most fervent supporters and believers are our nation’s biggest babies.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 20, 2020
Fall is always in such a rush to get here. Spring refuses to leave. Summer is a fair-weather friend, and winter is a drunken old bastard with an axe to grind.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 13, 2020
The change of the seasons was far more enjoyable when I was younger. It meant a new school year, new clothes, new classes, new girlfriends. Now it means I have to put on more clothes to walk the dog.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 6, 2020
The seasonal change from summer to fall should depress you. It’s the sign that things are about to die. Leaves on the ground are the carcasses of nature’s annual genocide.
Notes form the Post-it Wall | Week of August 30, 2020
If archeologists happened to find the body of Christ—proof he didn’t go to heaven—that would automatically make every Christian either a Jew or a Muslim. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 23, 2020
If the police want us to stop claiming they are untrustworthy petulant children, they need to stop acting like untrustworthy petulant children.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 16, 2020
There is rarely a situation I won’t put myself in. You get a better experience at the zoo by being in the cage.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 9, 2020
Comparing tragedies and grievances often expose your passive racism. Be careful. More importantly, please be aware.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 2, 2020
I believe we should take every step to accommodate those who have hindering disabilities. That is not to say we should carry the paraplegic up every flight of stairs because they don’t like wheelchairs.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 26, 2020
It’s time to cancel white men who wear Birkenstocks.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 19, 2020
• The polls say Biden is ahead of Trump. Why are we listening to polls? Why do we have any faith in pools? Has 2016 taught us nothing?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 12, 2020
Side-by-side refrigerators with narrow, vertical freezers are humanity’s most despicable creation. Worse than pollution, weapons of war, and blind American patriotism combined.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 5, 2020
I think Donald Trump’s biggest problem is that he didn’t spent enough time around campfires as a kid.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Independence Day Edition
Seeing giant American flags draped across giant crosses as I drive through central Illinois… I love how the irony of crucifying the flag is completely lost on these patriots.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 21, 2020
Other than a sailboat, a soundproof booth with a mic and headphones is my favorite place to be.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 14, 2020
The thing that’s most making me miserable is how much I don’t care about a growing number of things that used to matter to me.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 9, 2020
City rats are persistent little fuckers. Trump supporters are as persistent like city rats, too. They keep eating his shit and no matter how often he sets traps to kill them or fills in their burrows, they come back for more. Trump supporters and city rats are a lot alike. The big difference is that city rats are far more intelligent.
Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.