...that no single person should ever order a large pizza with the intent of saving some for the next few days. It’s a lie you tell yourself and you will fall for it every time.

...that when confronted with a name-dropper, the best course of action is to counter-name drop fictional bands. “Yeah. I saw the Anal Beads in a dive bar before they became big! The lead singer of the Flaming Colonoscopy Bags once bought me a beer in between sets.”

...that Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 reminds us how good the MCU can be.

...that anyone who manages to take a decent looking driver’s license photo is to be closely watched for mayhem as they are likely supernatural or alien.

...that Elon Musk is the bastard son of Andy Kaufman and wreaks havoc as a continuation of his father’s legacy.

...that the challenge of being a single adult is that there is no one around to say “Honey? Maybe that brick of cheese and craft beer could wait until tomorrow.”

I believe... that the twin consumer responses to John Wick Chapter 4 and the Hogwart’s Legacy video game seems to indicate that the plurality of Americans love guns and shrivelfigs.

...that anyone obsessed with March Madness basketball needs to back up a step when they judge me for digging comic book movies. We all go nuts for the things we loved as children.

...that sometimes, in lieu of a To-Do list which is based on accomplishing things within the day, a To-Don’t list might be as helpful in avoiding the things that defeat us in small but significant ways.

...that a man who is no longer looking for a romantic partner and isn’t seeking out new friends is the most free he will ever be as he no longer has anyone he needs to impress.

...that the best reaction to the release of my latest book is “I’d like a signed copy. But not by you.”

..that, while personally moving all my stuff to a seventh floor apartment by myself makes my dude brain feel all badass, my back would like to register an official complaint to HR.

I believe... that the difference between experience and lived experience is the shift from that which all people have to branding for perceived authority.

I believe... that Prince Harry is merely an avatar for an entire cohort clamoring to declare “See? I’m a victim, too! Look over here! I’m truly traumatized! Follow me on my platforms.”

...that when being austistic is somehow considered a thing of pride rather than affliction, TikTok has gone too far.