It’s Time to Stop Caring About Our Country and Start Caring About Ourselves
A nation is never greater than the sum of its parts. Thinking so is, and has been, our well-followed roadmap to destruction. Because we make up the nation. We, as a collective of units, are the nation. It is not us.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 20, 2020
Fall is always in such a rush to get here. Spring refuses to leave. Summer is a fair-weather friend, and winter is a drunken old bastard with an axe to grind.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 13, 2020
The change of the seasons was far more enjoyable when I was younger. It meant a new school year, new clothes, new classes, new girlfriends. Now it means I have to put on more clothes to walk the dog.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 6, 2020
The seasonal change from summer to fall should depress you. It’s the sign that things are about to die. Leaves on the ground are the carcasses of nature’s annual genocide.
Notes form the Post-it Wall | Week of August 30, 2020
If archeologists happened to find the body of Christ—proof he didn’t go to heaven—that would automatically make every Christian either a Jew or a Muslim. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 23, 2020
If the police want us to stop claiming they are untrustworthy petulant children, they need to stop acting like untrustworthy petulant children.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 16, 2020
There is rarely a situation I won’t put myself in. You get a better experience at the zoo by being in the cage.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 9, 2020
Comparing tragedies and grievances often expose your passive racism. Be careful. More importantly, please be aware.
I Built You, And You Served Me Well
I was looking for you—exactly you.
Dark wood, plenty of drawers, old-timey, affordable.
My smile nearly broke my face when I found you on display in that Las Vegas Office Depot.
Three hundred bucks was the top of my budget.
You were well worth it.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 2, 2020
I believe we should take every step to accommodate those who have hindering disabilities. That is not to say we should carry the paraplegic up every flight of stairs because they don’t like wheelchairs.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 26, 2020
It’s time to cancel white men who wear Birkenstocks.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 19, 2020
• The polls say Biden is ahead of Trump. Why are we listening to polls? Why do we have any faith in pools? Has 2016 taught us nothing?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 12, 2020
Side-by-side refrigerators with narrow, vertical freezers are humanity’s most despicable creation. Worse than pollution, weapons of war, and blind American patriotism combined.
Go Away White-Marked Tussock Moth Caterpillar
I love being outside. Love sitting in the grass and feeling the blades tickle my ankles. Ah, that’s a pretty active tickle. That’s not grass, something’s crawling on me. Yikes! What is that thing!? Yellow, fuzzy thing with a red head and… is that a stinger? What are those white balls on its back? Are those eggs? Is this thing poisonous? Get off me scary caterpillar! Go away you white-marked tussock moth caterpillar!
My Ascent to Greatness Will Not Be Compromised by the Likes of You
When I was twenty, I went to work for a captain of industry. A titan really.
I met him through the fraternity I had just pledged.
He said, he saw something in me — I had ambition, I had smarts, I had just what he was looking for.
I had reminded him of himself when he was my age.
That was a long time ago. More than twice my life thus far.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 5, 2020
I think Donald Trump’s biggest problem is that he didn’t spent enough time around campfires as a kid.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Independence Day Edition
Seeing giant American flags draped across giant crosses as I drive through central Illinois… I love how the irony of crucifying the flag is completely lost on these patriots.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 21, 2020
Other than a sailboat, a soundproof booth with a mic and headphones is my favorite place to be.
Selfish Love
It was a hard decision. One Marie had to make alone. Her poor, sick kitty couldn’t weigh in even though it was his opinion that should have mattered most. Cancer. It’s a bummer no matter the species.
Happy Father’s Day, My Son
On Father’s Day, I want what I bet most of the dads I know out there want: time to themselves equal to time with their kids. Really, that’s the dream, isn’t it? I bet it’s the dream of moms, too. And that’s what Mother’s Day is for.
Andy disassembled his weapon with lighting speed. He packed it away in the black backpack made specifically for a weapon of this sort. He bolted to the roof access door as fast as his little, chubby legs would carry him. He made his way through the condo/office building stairwell without being noticed just as he had done on his way up. Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.