Dear Literate Ape—My Kid Wants a Tattoo
I have a sinking feeling that he's going to get some huge tribal symbol on his back and by the time he's ten regret it awfully. Isn't that more damaging to his mental health than taking the word of a seven-year-old and running with it?
Busload of Trumpsters Dumped at Mar-a-Lago
Now I’m stuck in Florida trying to get my grandmother to send me money for a cheap motel and some meth. A hooker would be nice.
You Don’t Have to Watch Anything You Don’t Want to Watch
There is a lot of censorious shit going down in America these days.
I Believe... [Historical Self Righteousness]
...that the probability is overwhelming that if we had belonged to the generations we despise on moral grounds, we too would have behaved like moral troglodytes. The next generation will see this one through the same historically self righteous lens as well and it will not fare well.
You Wouldn't Have Owned Slaves But You Probably Wouldn't Have Done Anything About It, Either
The probability is overwhelming that if we had belonged to the generations we deplore, we too would have behaved deplorably. The probability is overwhelming that we belong to a generation that will be found by its successors to have behaved deplorably. — Wendell Berry
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 11, 2022
How many Amazon delivery trucks are repurposed UPS delivery trucks? Any number is enough to make me laugh at the irony of good business.
Why Donald Trump was in Virginia NOT Golfing
What the libsharts forget is that Donald Trump is a businessman.
The End of the Wild Wild West
A day after fully landing in Kansas I received notice that Station Casinos, the WWW's parent company, had announced the entire property was to be closed, demolished, and the land developed for something a bit more upscale (presumably to cater to visitors of the still pretty new football stadium a quarter mile away).
I Believe... [In Colonizers]
...that, speaking of colonizers, I’d have to say I’m basically in favor of the endeavor. Without the successful colonizers (because every single ethnicity has attempted colonizing their neighbors) no one in America would have the opportunity to get a meaningless degree in Post-Modern Politic Theory or Gender Studies while making Tik Toks on their pocket-sized super computers in their air-conditioned homes with running water.
Why Older Men Date Younger Women: A Defense of DiCaprio
Seriously, have you met women in their forties and fifties?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 4, 2022
Imagine being Queen Elizabeth II… having the same job for seventy years and never really having to lift a finger to get any work done. And being rich as fuck the whole time. What a weird life.
I Like to Watch | What Scares You
"What scares me is what scares you. We're all afraid of the same things. That's why horror is such a powerful genre."
Who Doesn’t Want A Special Master?
The special master will be given an unlimited supply of BBQ ribs and is not allowed to use paper towels or napkins.
The Life of a Peripheral Character
The burning question I've been circling around like toilet water swirling around a turd that simply won't flush is what, exactly, is the point of my continued presence on the planet?
I Believe... [The Hypocrisy of Online Activism]
...that if you are really pissed about capitalism as a system yet are reading this online on a computer or smartphone requiring WiFi, you’re a full of shit. That goes for anyone “protesting” capitalism on Twitter or Tik Tok.
In Search of... A Circus Gig?
So many people get stuck—in dead end careers, in cities that suck the life out of them, in stagnant, painful marriages—and I’m the exact opposite of stuck. I’ve become unmoored, set adrift, with no defined direction to sail. I’ve been discarded before I need any replacement parts. Hell, I could join the circus if I wanted to.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 28, 2022
Has five years of successful therapy taken away the burning need to write?
Dog Walker Barbie
Why Are People So Mean?
Even a former president isn’t safe from people saying mean things about him.
Mikhail Gorbachev is Dead and that Feels Like Something
Mikhail Gorbachev died yesterday, August 30, 2022. And I feel… sad? I think that’s what this is. Sadness. But why?
Monte imagined approaching the counter.
“Hello, I hear Morgan Freeman narrating my life.”