Zip, Zop, ZAP! Turn The Second City into a Laser Tag Arena
This Year of Our Lord, 2020, has revealed quite a few things about us. The recurring theme is that it’s high time our greatest institutions must die. The mighty must fall. So, as someone who interned at The Second City, went through several training programs, produced plays for its stages, here’s what I suggest happen to that theater: Turn it into a laser tag facility. Call it Zip, Zop, ZAP!
You may argue that now is not the time to open a new business, what with the pandemic and all. But laser tag is the perfect pandemic business.
Those of Us Who Reject Loneliness
It turns out that we Americans are really lonely. One would think that a natural conclusion to aging with its concomitant loss of capacity and the dying off of those whom we knew would be some semblance of loneliness, but it seems improbably true that the young are experiencing loneliness like never before.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | A Eulogy for Donald Trump
On his tomb stone is inscribed, “This is Obama’s fault.”
Smelling of Sex, of Summer, of Love
![I Believe… [That I Don’t Believe Him]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1601656131388-8U1J0PF9FYKEYX4R6GMV/IMG_1722.jpeg)
I Believe… [That I Don’t Believe Him]
I believe… that Trump’s modus operandi is distraction and his COVID diagnosis is a distraction from the fallout from his abysmal debate performance, his dwindling campaign cash, and his refusal to condemn white supremacist groups. I haven’t believed anything he’s said in four years, why start now?
When Distrust is Normalized
Like hope, trust is fragile and amazingly powerful. With it, relationships can grow, employers can instill loyalty, societies can progress in genuinely positive ways. Without it, we all become ineffective solo efforts without enough juice to move past the naval gaze or the frozen burrito wrapper that has been sitting on the coffee table since June.
Misanthropic Tendencies and My Desire for Less Noise
Wait. Everyone at some point becomes Trump online. Everyone.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 27, 2020
An adherence to the Myth of American Exceptionalism is a comfort from hardships and bad day, and that which we cannot control. It is religion. It is a baby blanket. It is our emotional support animal. Its most fervent supporters and believers are our nation’s biggest babies.
Encountering the Unicorn and Being Baffled By It
My mouth, known internationally as an unfiltered spew of whatever is in my head, wants to pop off with “WHAT?! Are you fucking STUPID? Trump is a menace. A monster! How can you, a young black man, POSSIBLY BE AGAINST BLACK LIVES MATTERING?”
It’s Time to Stop Caring About Our Country and Start Caring About Ourselves
A nation is never greater than the sum of its parts. Thinking so is, and has been, our well-followed roadmap to destruction. Because we make up the nation. We, as a collective of units, are the nation. It is not us.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | QAnon Post-Debate Info Drop
President Trump wants us to know he really is smart.
The Coming Civil War Ain’t Coming
We are the righteous and the fools. We are those who dream of better and, like Ripley, cannot be fucked with because we can operate a giant robot forklift. We are the Ghostbusters, the Three Amigos, and The Expendables (minus Chuck Norris).
![I Believe… [Lazy Gangsters]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1601054419971-4R9KBY8GLFAFS1C0P8K8/IMG_1692.jpeg)
I Believe… [Lazy Gangsters]
I believe… that people pining on for the Old Vegas can’t be too horrified at random gun violence. Today’s gangsters are just too lazy to dig that hole in the desert.
And The End of the Democracy Will Come at the Hands of...Brett and Amy?
On Becoming Addicted to Misery and The Quest for Psychological Safety
“I’m being mugged” became “I was just mugged” which transformed into “I survived being mugged” to “Did I ever tell you about the time I was mugged?”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 20, 2020
Fall is always in such a rush to get here. Spring refuses to leave. Summer is a fair-weather friend, and winter is a drunken old bastard with an axe to grind.
What A Ride
We are all just playing chess. On a roller coaster. In a hurricane. I don’t know what your plan is, but I want to enjoy as much of the ride as possible. Even if I lose a few pieces off the chess board, I guess it doesn’t matter as long as I can use my brain.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Perks of Being a Slave
The Perks of Being a Slave | A Patriotic History Lesson
Optimism When Things are Easy is a Sham
Given the larger picture, belief in democracy is only slightly more delusional than the guy playing slots so he can pay his rent. The odds are astronomically against success and yet the choice to persevere is made.
![I Believe… [Gambling Away Your Unemployment Check]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1600348786942-EJ2AFT6RQSSWZ78WKHCU/IMG_1692.jpeg)
I Believe… [Gambling Away Your Unemployment Check]
I believe… that if you use your unemployment money for entertainment instead of paying your bills, you’re a human shit nugget.
...that, at a certain age, a birthday is no longer a celebration of your existence but another notch in the ‘Fuck off, Death’ belt.