Two Cab Rides in Trump’s America
“I see so many white folks freaking out. That’s because they’ve never heard this kind of talk this way before. They’re finally hearing what black folks have been hearing since the beginning. This is nothing new. Don’t worry about it. Just do what’s best for you and your family. We’ll all be fine.
Trip Report | Day 10: Springer, New Mexico
Pulled into Santa Fe Trail RV Park at seven, exactly when the lady on the phone had said they closed. Jumped out without my coat and ran up to try the office door. It was locked but there was a sign telling us where to park. It looked like something my mom would write if she were alive and ran an RV park.
I Believe [Gaslighting Johnny Depp]
…that while not a definitive rebuke to #MeToo, if you believed Amber Heard’s accusations against Johnny Depp, you got played by an asshole using a movement for her own personal gain.
The Sound of Clanging and Indoor Soccer Games
There’s far too much noise
and I can’t tell if it’s coming from the neighbors upstairs
or just the usual clanging in my head.
I don’t hear the clanging as often or as loudly as I used to.
I suppose that’s a good thing.
But right now, with the baby put down, the puppy mellow and asleep on the warm mountain of clean clothes on the couch, and the wife off visiting a friend, the familiar clanging is as loud as it once was.
And I feel like a bachelor.
That means now is the perfect time to clean.
Trip Report Day 9: Santa Fe, New Mexico
The Molehill of the Pronoun Thing: A BUGHOUSE! Dialectic
If all of America was 100 people in a room, 65 of them would be white, 16 would be Hispanic, 13 would be black, 5 would be Asian, and the remaining one person would be everybody else. 52 would be women, 48 men. A whopping 95 would be heterosexual. Of the five left, just over half of one of them would be transgender.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Valentine's Day Edition
Valentine’s Day is a lot like getting asked to tell a joke on demand. There’s a lot of pressure to perform perfectly and usually you come up short.
I Like to Watch | Valentine’s Day Moobies
Here is a list of films I recommend you sit down and watch while jamming those chalky heart candies into your maw while guzzling box wine in your yoga pants.
Trip Report | Day 8: Grants, New Mexico
Newbie tip: Bibblets are little seeds and bits of undergrowth that can stick to a tiny dog’s muzzle. If your dog is taller than an iPhone, don’t worry about them.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | President’s Council on Fitness New Guidelines
He’s the busiest president ever – he does a lot of golfing, standing at podiums, shifting in his seat, tweeting.
Democracy Post-"Impeachment": Dead, But Still Heartsick
Thomas Jefferson comes to mind, as he referred to knowledge in his thoughts and writings as Light
You best believe when our sweaty overdressed forefathers were sitting in a Philadelphia courthouse day after day for months during a sweltering summer trying to birth this country, every minute felt like a pressure-cooked eternity of Light.
The True Power of Balls Out Risk and Monumentally Fucking Up
I was thinking about the botched horror of the Fyre Festival the other day. This lead me to thinking about the Chicago Fire Festival, created by Red Moon Theatre, where the City spent a whole freaking truckload of money and, on the night of the event, no one could get anything lit on fire.
I Believe… [A Lightly Worn Hat]
…that like a character in an improvised scene, a job should be treated like a lightly worn hat, instantly removed to reveal the true self whenever necessary.
Trip Report Day 7: Grand Canyon, Arizona
Why I Shave My Beard (Or Why I Grow One in the First Place)
How odd to change my costume to solidify who I am.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 2, 2020
The Republican Party has unquestionably revealed itself to be criminals and cowards while the Democratic Party has unquestionably revealed itself to be grossly incompetent cowards.
Once King
He’s a man who seems older than he is as he stoops over a broom and pushes dried leaves and debris off the street. His task is never-ending. Day or night, you will find him cleaning the square under the shadow of the castle.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Presidential Medal of Rush
I want my State of the Union speech to melt all the snowflakes across America, like if climate change were a real thing.
Handling That Which We Already Knew Would Come to Pass
Second, screaming in response to what we knew would happen without even an ounce of doubt accomplishes no more than a child in want of a Slurpee throwing himself to the sticky 7-11 floor and wailing like a banshee unless he gets it.
Trip Report | Day 6: Grand Canyon, Arizona
“We should invite them for a drink,” I said after we left to go shove their plastic levelers under more wheels of our rig.
“Maybe,” Dave said. “Did you see the bumper sticker?”
“No,” though I had noticed the model name on their trailer was Connect.
“Trump-Pence 2020,” Dave said.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.