Contributing Writer 4/11/19 Contributing Writer 4/11/19

American Shithole #55 | Who the Fuck is Candace Owens?

Black fucking Nazis, you say? Will wonders never cease? I tell you, this administration’s ability to unleash every festering boil of stupidity in this country, is absolutely astounding.

Trump is the Pied Piper of Batshit Crazy.

Don Hall 4/11/19 Don Hall 4/11/19

Circular Firing Squad | Like Dogs Howling at Sirens

Yes, we ignored Michelle Obama when she intoned “When they go low, we go high” because that wise advise didn’t suit our Neo-Left Progressive need to express our outrage and childish inability to reign in our self righteous anger.

Joe Janes 4/10/19 Joe Janes 4/10/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Barr Investigation into the Investigation of the Trump Campaign Investigation

The whole thing was tainted with anti-Trump bias from the start. According to the president who gave me this job.

Don Hall 4/10/19 Don Hall 4/10/19

The Old Lady Who Hated Halloween Put A Sign Up Letting Us Know

She felt that she shouldn’t have to be singled out, that the children shouldn’t be bothering people anyway and why not just do away with the practice on the block altogether instead of forcing her to put up some sign.

David Himmel 4/9/19 David Himmel 4/9/19

Getting Paid to Type as a Writer

Not everything has to be gold. Not everything has to be a bestseller. Most things won’t be either. But it’s nice to work toward something like that. Spending your days trying to leave something that will survive you, something that will separate you from the herd, something that your wife and kid and parents and grandparents and friends can be proud of. Something you can be proud of. Something that means anything to anyone anywhere. Even for a moment. Because if you can do that, then you’ve got proof to show the gods you’ve done something of value while you were here breathing the free air. It wasn’t a life spent taking; it was one that gave back, too.

Don Hall 4/8/19 Don Hall 4/8/19

I Believe… [Be An Ally Who Doesn't Self Loathe]

…that one can be a cis, heterosexual, white male in America and advocate for anti-racism and anti-sexism and LGTBQ rights without feeling guilty for being a cis, heterosexual, white male or campaigning against masculinity or whiteness.

Don Hall 4/8/19 Don Hall 4/8/19

All Lessons Matter Because the Children are Watching

As a former teacher, I think our ideas of teaching others has become somewhat skewed. It seems that teaching is somehow congruent with lecturing, admonishing, grading. While those are definitely methods used in the modern school system, it is not the most effective way to teach children. The most effective method to teach children is by example.

Don Hall 4/7/19 Don Hall 4/7/19

I Like to Watch | Serenity (2019)

It’s sexy. It’s as shallow as you’d expect from a noir plot. It’s atmospheric. It’s lyrical. And then it gets pretty fucked up.

I loved it.

Jenni Thurston 4/6/19 Jenni Thurston 4/6/19

Mommy Shaming

Whenever I left her in another’s care I was weighted down with excessive guilt because I know the pain this kid can unleash. But she only does it to me. And I couldn’t stop wondering why?

Mommy shaming. That’s why.

David Himmel 4/5/19 David Himmel 4/5/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 31, 2019

Here’s a new term that must be incorporated into our lexicon: “Momsplaining.”
Momsplaining
/ˈmomˌsplāniNG/
noun INFORMAL
the explanation of something by a woman, typically a mother, and typically to a man such as her husband or boyfriend, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing (ironically enough).
SYNONYM: Wifesplaining

Don Hall 4/5/19 Don Hall 4/5/19

Problematic Movies of the ‘80s | National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)

I vaguely remember Clark being both a family man and a guy who’d fuck a supermodel in an instant, making him basically a middle-aged dude but still. Kind of a creep, right?

Contributing Writer 4/4/19 Contributing Writer 4/4/19

American Shithole #54 | Let the Frankening of Biden Begin

My least favorite faux-left cabal are the #MeToo rage junkies that ended Senator Al Franken’s career (as progressive a voice for women and equality as there ever has been in Congress) — and now you’ve got your sights on Biden.

Seriousy? It’s the END OF FUCKING DAYS and your priority is to go after Uncle Joe “Huggy” Biden?

Joe Janes 4/3/19 Joe Janes 4/3/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Men Reclaim Words

My wife just had a hysterectomy. I have no idea what it is. It’s a woman’s body thing.

Chris Churchill 4/3/19 Chris Churchill 4/3/19

Chris Churchill Saves the World | My Non-Apology

Sometimes I feel like apologizing to dummies for their being dumb. And their dumbness leading to insecurity. And that their insecurity leads to a feeling of vulnerability which can be mistaken for a perception of being attacked.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

Jenni Thurston 4/2/19 Jenni Thurston 4/2/19

True Stories from the ER: Do You Have a Uterus?

Do you have a uterus? It is a question we should be allowed to ask in a hospital. Especially those who work in radiology, a field that could potentially end a pregnancy with X-rays. Because that’s what it’s all about. The sole purpose of a uterus is to house a developing fetus. And — no matter what you identify as — if you have a uterus we in the hospital need to know whether there’s a chance for pregnancy. Drugs, radiation, and certain procedures can harm or kill a fetus.

Don Hall 4/1/19 Don Hall 4/1/19

I Believe… [Dressing Up Opinion as Gospel]

…that, if your demand is to confront and challenge but to avoid being confronted or challenged, “speaking your truth” is nothing more than hypocrisy. Your truth is not THE truth merely another aggrandizement of your opinion.

David Himmel 4/1/19 David Himmel 4/1/19

Why I'm Becoming a Chicago Cop

I’ve passed all my tests including the background investigation, which is what I was most worried about. By this time next year, as long as I can get through the training, I will be Chicago Police Officer David Himmel. I’ll have a badge, a gun, a body cam, a bulletproof vest, keys to a police cruiser, and the ability to work with the citizens of my community to create a safer city for people like Jussie Smollett.

Elizabeth Harper 3/31/19 Elizabeth Harper 3/31/19

Thought to Call

thought today
man knows
noun verb
room mess
too many problems
need to be together

Contributing Writer 3/30/19 Contributing Writer 3/30/19

Perfect Stranger

What I wasn’t prepared for was the perfect stranger, an outpatient, who I would meet later that day.

David Himmel 3/29/19 David Himmel 3/29/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 24, 2019

Jussie Smollett’s face as he spoke to the media after the Cook County State’s Attorney dropped all charges against him struck me as way, way, way more smug than that of the MAGA hat kid.