Chris Churchill Saves the World | My Non-Apology

Chris Churchill Saves the World | My Non-Apology

By Chris Churchill

Sometimes I feel like apologizing to dummies for their being dumb. And their dumbness leading to insecurity. And that their insecurity leads to a feeling of vulnerability which can be mistaken for a perception of being attacked.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

But I’m not going to apologize for smart people being smart. For people who chose to better themselves deserving to be in charge. If you want to be in charge, become smart. If you don’t want to become smart, that’s okay. Just don’t expect us to give you things, the workings of which, you don’t understand. 

Just know, the smart people aren’t doing anything to you. They’re doing things for themselves. Just know that smart people have thought more than three steps down the road for any problem a dummy has thought about at surface level with anger and confusion. 

Maybe you SHOULD have gotten participation trophies growing up. You know, the ones your angry father told you were for sissies? Maybe a little encouragement just for being you would have given you the emotional stamina to shoot for goals that those in your social circles may have shot down as being too big a goal and not a goal for you. 

Maybe it’s okay to admit that you took a path that wasn’t littered with gold and good fortune. Maybe it’s okay to admit that others have done certain things better in life. Look, I wanted to be a famous comedian. I wanted to be on Saturday Night Live. My plan was this: 1997 move to Chicago, study at second city and Improv Olympic, be recognized as a genius. Get famous. 1998, return home to Kansas City a conquering hero. It didn’t happen. Friends of mine who did attain a level of success worked a lot harder and were a lot more committed to what it takes to get there than I was. Kudos to you Ike Barenholtz, Kumail Nanijiani, Hannibal Burris etc. I knew them when. I did not earn what they earned. They are not elites. They are people who had a goal, worked hard, with focus and achieved it. 

Later, I worked hard for my education. Now, it turns out I’m a pretty good teacher. I earned that. By deciding to try hard at something. 

If you didn’t try hard to be educated, you aren’t morally better than the educated, you are mentally lazier. No insult there. I’m physically lazier than most. My posture and demeanor are evidence of that. 

You call the smart people “elites”. You do that so you can feel that you are right to not be educated. It’s fine to not be educated. But just know that being uneducated means there’s a lot you don’t know about the way the world works and about other people. And about the way other people work. About the motives of other people. If you think the highly educated are elitists, then that means you are putting you and yours on the other side of educated—UNeducated. And you are choosing to remain uneducated so that you can feel good about your choices in life. Choices in life that didn’t get you where you’d hoped.

We’re not doing anything to you. But you think we are.

I’m sorry you feel that way. 

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Men Reclaim Words

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Men Reclaim Words

True Stories from the ER: Do You Have a Uterus?

True Stories from the ER: Do You Have a Uterus?