Sorry, Mom, I Can't Make It To Christmas This Year
I apologize for losing out on this year’s Secret Santa exchange, and that I won’t be receiving a scented wax warmer for the fifth year in a row.
Lena Dunham is the Female Version of Brett Kavanaugh
Lena Dunham is the female version of Brett Kavanaugh. Dunham is saturated in privilege and showers herself in entitlement. She has tried to disguise it as feminism but it’s not. It’s rich, white, East Coast Society privileged entitlement. Simple as that. And white women feminist have turned a blind eye to her bullshit for too long.
Noble X — Episode 15: Dress Rehearsal
Colin and Anthony ask about all the new writing on the walls. “Is that permanent marker, dude? What does it mean?” and Thomas, while mostly silent, is visibly disturbed.
American Shithole #37 | The Redaction Game and a Farewell to a Softer, Kinder Dildo
So yeah, not quite the sendoff I gave that miserable fuck from Arizona, but it is technically the holiday season, and in the spirit of giving, I guess I’ll just leave it at that.
Shitty First Dates: Casey
Tony and Stephanie, or Brett and Casey?
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Wisconsin Power Grab!
If your body-mass index is less than “obesity” you are probably a perpetrator of voter fraud and not from Wisconsin.
George H.W. Bush and a Young Boy’s Foray into Politics
I was confused. Had I done something wrong? What the hell was a democrat and why didn’t they like republicans? And what was a republican, anyway? I looked at one of the pamphlets. Maybe I’d discover something awful about this George Bush guy. But nothing terrible was there: flew a plane in World War II, was our Vice President, did something with something called the CIA, was a congressman — whatever that was. I was nervous to deliver any more pamphlets. For the rest of my route, if it looked like someone was home, I avoided the house completely.
Trail of Tears
Visiting family.
My eight-year-old nephew
and I both studying
the Choctaw.
I Believe… ["Ruby's Tears": Band or Craft Beer?]
...that the naming of craft beers has now eclipsed the art of naming both bands and albums.
Real Life Ghost Stories | End of the Trail
What if some hauntings aren’t the spooktastic, skin-crawling nightmare some claim them to be? What if, instead of the nightmare angle, we approach a tale of ghost activity with understanding? Even love?
Don't Fear The Rooster
Maybe don’t be scared of stuff just because someone tells you to be.
Problematic Movies of the '80s | Weird Science (1985)
In 1985, there was a horny, stupid ideal of the perfect woman and the movie Weird Science exemplified it. Given today’s sex robots and unlimited free porn, I’d say we haven’t gone too far away from the concept…
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 25, 2018
I use a bidet for the exact same reason I use a pencil: Sometimes I make a mistake.
Too Close for Comfort... Inn
Six months into the relationship, Dan proposed something that forever changed the course of their relationship.
He invited her to Las Vegas.
American Shithole #36 | The Waiting Game
I just want to know the truth.
“I’ve been sitting in the waiting room forever, doc, give it to me straight — how bad is my country?”
“I’m afraid you have late-stage four Klepto-Capitalism; it’s malignant, and left untreated, it’s terminal.”
“Any good news, doc?”
“Not really.”
My Lonely Heart Led Me to the Lake
It is one of the few places in the world that can be truly silent. There I have traveled in the middle of the night, eyes cast upward to the sky, heart empty and aching, and felt the embrace of the world.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Santa's Workshop Bought by Amazon.com
Santa told the elves it was time to leave, take 10 pounds of reindeer jerky on your way out.
Noble X — Episode 14: Reflections
Words overlap and intersect, resembling the scribbling of a small child. Ink changes colors. Calm letters turning jagged and violent, then smooth again.
The Charitable Act of Giving will Save Us All
Think about your life. In what ways are you fortunate? Now, think of the ways you’re unfortunate? Think of those times when you needed a leg up, a hand, a new pair of boots with bootstraps to pull. Self-reliance and determination can only get you so far. Even if we’re all islands, an island still needs the sea and the air to sustain itself. At some point in all our lives, we need a little help. A shoulder to lean on; an ear to bend.
And while things can always be worse, they can always be better, too.
I Believe... [Warning: Strobe Lights and Personal Castigation Ahead]
...that, in the spirit of appropriate trigger warnings, can we have some that warn us that a comedy show will be more like a lecture on how awful white guys are?
The second voice arrived on Thursday morning while Monte was attempting to make toast.