The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Bullet Bouquets
“Their Bullets Did More Damage To My Heart Than They Did To Your Pancreas.”
There Is a Right Way To Do This to Avoid a Second Civil War
I look over and the most angry of the two called out across the tables “What the fuck are you looking at?”
Caught a bit off guard, I stumbled. “Do I know you?”
“No, but I know YOU. You’re Don Hall. You’re a piece of shit!”
I Believe… [Shaming People is The Least Creative Approach]
…that shaming people for not voting is still shaming people. Persuade them or suffer the consequences of your lack of creative effort.
The Women of the Democratic Party Have One Year Left to Keep Screwing Things Up
Let’s be real clear up front: The Patriarchy must burn and die. But if the future is female, then the future needs a Come to Jesus Moment like no other. Even if the Dems pull off a win in 2020, if the Party’s most prominent don’t stop acting without thinking of the consequences, the future may indeed be female, but it will be a future led by women who are just as self-serving and stupid as any man has ever been.
I Dreamed Goth Shaun Cassidy Saved Me From All the Sexists and Rapists
I dreamed goth Shaun Cassidy saved me from all the sexists and rapists.
But it was only a dream…only a dream…
Problematic Movies of the 80s | Back to School (1986)
With outrageous and terrible one-liners, cameos by Sam Kinison, Severn Darden, Danny Elfman and Kurt Vonnegut, Sally Kellerman as a love interest, Burt Young as Melon’s tough guy valet, Back to School is an embarrassment of riches in a dumb but heartfelt movie.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Halloween Edition
If I were to go trick-or-treating, I’d rather receive a red delicious apple with razor blades and anthrax in it than Bit-O-Honey.
Noble X — Episode 12: Evidence Mounts
Something about the way she noticed his clothing seems significant to John and an overwhelming urge to record this interaction immediately rises inside him. “I need a notebook,” chases its tail in his head.
American Shithole #31 | Bomb Building Basics for Simpletons
If we let Klepto-Capitalism play out to its logical conclusion, humanity will end up with only a handful of people with any real power — and at that point the cancer is beyond stage five; the cancer is incurable.
The Passing of the Hat: A Halloween Story
The harvest moon hangs heavy in the velvet embrace of the sky. Near the curled shoes of Bella Baker, a toad jumps into taller grass. The song of crickets rises and falls. The crisp air of Samhain finds all exposed flesh and gives it a little nip, just enough to remember that one is alive.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Saudi Arabia Cracks Down On Satire
. #CrownPrince, #السعودية, #AridDadJokes, #DeathToInfidels, #WWAD
Problematic Movies of the 80s | Risky Business (1983)
I’m not entirely sure why I voted for Ronald Reagan in 1984 but I’m starting to suspect that it may have had something to do with my love of movies featuring rich, white boys and their capitalistic coming of age stories.
Two Poems: She Said; He Said
She said, “Why are you wasting your time?”
As if all there was to it
was making a good deal.
Closing the deal.
Completing the con.
I Believe… [Can I Just Eat My Omelette?]
…that once you’ve hit a point of notoriety in town when people who know who you are but have never met you already have a negative opinion of you see you in a local restaurant and feel strongly enough about it to make a scene, perhaps its time to run for office.
Top 5 Scariest Films for Halloween
I’ve never been a fan of haunted houses. I spook too easily, I guess. I’m not the guy they want walking through their halls anyhow. In past houses I’ve committed all offenses in reaction to being spooked: punched a worker square in the nose; stomped to death some kind of mechanical tentacle protruding from the floorboards; grabbed a psychotic clown by his wig and headbutted him in the teeth; made my wife go first.
Around this time of year, I’m a bigger fan of staying in where the people around me are safe. But I still enjoy giving myself the heebie-jeebies. That’s why I’m offering you, dear reader, my pick of the Top 5 Scariest Films you should watch this Halloween.
Shutter
Gravity
The Force Awakens
Superman III
Mannequin
For the Love of Little Broken Things: A Chicago Hairstylist Emerges Stronger After Fire
We’re all rebuilding. We all want to be beautiful. We’re all seeking gratification. Krepel went through the fire and emerged to give us a place that is as much ours as it is hers. A place where we can feel beautiful, where we can feel gratified, because when we feel good, we don’t want to burn the whole fucking thing down. She’s given Chicago a place that proves the most beautiful things often come from the things that were the most broken.
Problematic Movies of the 80s | Class (1983)
Revisiting those films from my youth (which also happen to be the films of Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh’s youth) to see if they pass the burn test.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 14, 2018
Go ahead and call her horseface, buddy. You fucked her.
American Shithole #30 — I’m the Grinch Who Stole Halloween
So I really don’t watch anything remotely scary any more. I mean, other than the news.
Oh C’mon... We’re All a Little Bit Native American at This Point
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. The greatest trick The Donald ever pulled was convincing the world he was an idiot.
Misrepresenting intention/ And donning it as/Passion, I’m reactive—