Oh C’mon... We’re All a Little Bit Native American at This Point

Oh C’mon... We’re All a Little Bit Native American at This Point

By Don Hall

Wow. Even Elizabeth Warren dances to the spastic drumbeat set by The Donald.

I understand why she thought getting that DNA test was the right call. She’s planning a run at The Commander in Quif and he made her earlier claims of Native Americanness an issue. I understand why she put it out there, too. Put the goddamned taunt to rest well in advance of her campaign.

One would hope, however, that after his bizarre ascent and the manner in which he campaigned, the power brokers in the Left would’ve learned that reacting to his insults is exactly what he wants. It’s a classic bully tactic and it works almost every time.

Consider the following: You’re out having drinks with a group of, maybe not friends exactly, perhaps colleagues. People you work with in an out and about sort of way but also people you often find yourself in competition with in the daily grind. The drinks are flowing, everyone is enjoying themselves and talking freely. Everyone is also keeping an eye out for opportunities to elevate themselves in the economy of prestige.

“That piece you wrote last week was solid. Really good writing.”

“Haha!! Thanks, man!”

“Oh. I didn’t care for it at all. I mean, it’s a little bit racist don’t you think?”

“Racist? How so?”

“Well, you’re white. Your point of view is completely off-base because you can’t see past your privilege. You’re white, so your perspective is always going to be racist.”

Three of your colleagues nod in assent. Three look down, staring intently in their drinks. Your least favorite sips her margarita and snorts.

The choice is not complex. You can respond to the dig, try to explain yourself, attempt to carve out a win. You can try to turn the tables and struggle out a win by trashing your critic or her point of view. Or you can ignore it, smile and move on to other, perhaps more important, topics.

Here is where ego comes into play. If your ego is fragile in any way, you’ll instantly feel attacked, rush to defend yourself or go on offense. If your ego is healthy enough to let the critique sink in for later reflection, let the attacked feeling bounce off onto the sticky bar floor, and simply not respond, you win in that WarGames method — by not playing.


Imagine further, sitting at a board game. There are game pieces. There are squares to navigate. Now imagine that you are playing checkers but your opponent is playing chess. He has more intricate moves, more options. He is thinking several moves ahead while all you’re doing is trying to match him move for move so you can get a checker on the back line to be King’d.

I used to tease my sister mercilessly. When she’d complain to my mom, mom would bark at me and try to get me to “Stop deviling [my] sister.” But I wouldn’t. It was too much fun because she’d lose her mind on my whim. Like a master puppeteer making a marionette dance, winding her up was just good times.

Mom finally told her that if she could just ignore me I’d stop. Mom knew about the game. She knew that if my poking at her resulted in no response, I’d get bored and stop. My sister never took her advice and I took to letting her sit on my chest and punch me repeatedly in the face as I laughed so she could get rid of her rage. It hurt, but it also extended the fun for another day.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. The greatest trick The Donald ever pulled was convincing the world he was an idiot.

Trump understands people far better than we on the Left want to believe. We want to believe that his fourth-grader sense of humor and grandiose vision of himself and his accomplishment is the tactic of a moron. Yet he is the President despite all of that.

Because he’s playing chess and we’re playing checkers. Because he laughingly indulges us as we exercise our rage.

He knows that Warren can’t handle the bogus and ludicrous taunt. He knows that she will eventually answer his challenge and she will look stupid when he responds “Who cares?” 

He knows how apoplectic we will get when he makes fun of Ford’s testimony and how irrationally furious we’ll be when he defiantly brags about getting Kavanaugh on the Court. He knows that when we are so filled with rage and awash with a sense of unfairness we cannot function rationally. He knows we’ll make stupid moves on the board and that, if we just keep reacting to his bullshit, he will win.

Because he did. And until we grow up and take my mom’s advise, he’ll keep winning.

American Shithole #30 — I’m the Grinch Who Stole Halloween

American Shithole #30 — I’m the Grinch Who Stole Halloween

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Columbia College Provost Says Goodbye

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Columbia College Provost Says Goodbye