The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Emergency Cat Meeting
Bongo: When I bite him, he thinks I’m being playful. Maybe I need to chew through the bone next time.
Noble X - Episode 6: Filters Off
John continues to grow in size as he advances on his future self and proceeds to refuse this destiny with skill and agility, deftly attacking with the precision of a ninja. Ready to beg for mercy on his knees, John towers above his future self.
Only Lydia Knows
Why? I’ll tell you. Because my wife ain’t a wife anymore, my fiancé dumped me, and my kids have their own lives.
I Believe... [WOLVERINES!]
...that Patrick Swayze wouldn't put up with this Russia bullshit.
Be Careful of Who You Pretend to Be
For the most part, all the world is, in fact, a stage.
Saying “I Love You to the Moon and Back” is an Empty Sentiment
“I love you to the moon and back.” Doesn’t sound very sincere. Sounds like hyperbole — the kind of thing you’d say to someone you don’t really like but really want to go down on you.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 15, 2018
I would prefer to do the work of a long-haul truck driver or a Great Lakes shipping captain or a bellhop or a plumber than whatever the fuck it is that I think do for a living now.
When Is Insensitivity Something To Strive For? Answering Hannah Gadsby’s Question
In Nanette, Hannah Gadsby asks, “When is insensitivity something to strive for?”
It’s an interesting question considering that we’re currently in an epidemic of suicides and record numbers of adults medicating themselves for crippling anxiety.
Noble X — Episode 5: Tracks
Jeff arrives first and squeals with delight, gazing through the thick control room glass into Studio A, their office for the day. Minutes later Bryan, Dana, and Mark appear, holding more beers and snacks, their faces alight with glowing electricity as well. It’s Christmas for them too.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Trump and Putin – Alone at Last!
Putin: Mr. Putin? Mr. Putin is the father I had killed for speaking out against my regime. Call me Vlad. We are friends.
Required Watching: "Tabloid" (2010)
In 1977, former Miss Wyoming, Joyce McKinney, met a young Mormon named Kirk Anderson in Utah and she fell in love. According to her the two had a classic meet-cute while driving. Within days they were ready to run away together. But, suddenly, he disappeared, off on his mission trip to England.
Revisiting Culture Through a New Set of (political) Glasses
We were inspired by these stories. Stories that pitted the outcasts against the status quo and won. Did we realize that they were all cultural contributors to the continued stereotyping of minorities and the centuries long marginalization of women? Of course not — we were outcasts looking for heroes. We were white kids in Central Kansas.
I Believe… [Auto Insurance is a Scam]
…that the idea of insurance is a great one but the reality of getting your parked car hit by a drunk kid in his mom's truck with scam insurance and then having to negotiate the value of your car with your own insurance company that has determined the cosmetic damage is too costly to fix so fuck it, it's a total loss, we'll settle with you for a third of the resale value of the car is not so fucking great.
Too Much Fun
Passed out early this morning
with a stranger's (new friend's?)
cum on my face,
after drinking too much whiskey,
talking too much,
staying out until
the wee hours of the morning.
Double Standard
The mediocre date. Dates that are completely fine, nothing interesting to report either way. Frankly, these are the norm. You go out once, don't hate it, don’t love it, and never speak again.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of July 8, 2018
• If you take seriously anything FOX News or Huffington Post report, you have also probably bought a time share.
Star Wars Probably Taught You Some Dumb, Wrong Shit
Seriously, look at Anakin and tell me the whole fucking galaxy wouldn’t be a lot different if anyone had ever bothered to teach him some basic coping skills. How do you healthily process grief? Not by murdering a shitload of Sand People.
America’s Distaste for Mommy’s Milk
I don’t know a lot about a lot. I’m only four months old, after all. My understanding of the world revolves around one thing: milk. I love milk. I love my mommy’s milk. Really, like there’s no form of measurement grand enough to represent how much I absolutely love my mommy’s milk. It is my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack. I love it so much that I often drink too much of it, which makes me vomit. And when I do, I always vomit on myself so that none of that sweet, sweet goodness goes to waste. Because my mommy’s milk is so good that it not only fills my tummy with vitamins and protein, but it also helps keep my skin healthy. Incredible, right?
Yeah, my mom’s boobs are awesome.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Archangel Alliance Committee on Human Affairs
“There are people in heaven who don’t belong here? That explains that a-hole on the escalator who spent the whole time not moving, looking at his phone. There was no room to move around him. I cleared my throat several times. He needs to go back to where he came from.”
Managing a House for 50,000 People
"So, what do you do?"
It's a frequent question as the term "House Manager" is like "Events Consultant" — amorphous and ever-changing based upon the needs of the room and the client.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.