...that old age as a concept has little to do with the slowing of the body and far more to do with the decay of curiosity.

...that a mullet on a man is silly but a mullet on a woman is an aggressive statement of independence and empowerment in the shadow of the patriarchy.

...that, if grit and industry is something you respect, you have to hand it to thieves who steal catalytic converters because at least they aren’t sitting on the sidewalk with a cup.

...that a long walk in a neighborhood you’ve done a million things in is both a reminder of times gone by and a call for something new on old ground.

...that each of us is defined in large and small ways by the people we choose to have in our lives. Be discriminating and choose wisely.

...that El Ranchero Chips are the single tortilla chip in the known universe.

...that the term ‘artivism’ refers to an opportunity for mediocre artists to be embraced for their ideological stance rather than the quality of their work while be applauded for both.

...that few things feel better in an existential sense than work that involves both your brain and your body, with people who respect you and have high expectations, and the presence of readily available public restrooms.

...that life comes in circles and the best of us learn to really turn into the curves without spinning out.

...that the feeling of leaving a job you found perfunctory on good days, incredibly dull on others, and completely odious 30% of the time is one of both liberation and lightness.

...that polyamory is just white women gentrifying the gay man’s lifestyle and calling it something brunch-y.

...that, for me, the definition of willpower is to purchase a block of aged cheddar cheese and still have some of it left a week later. Small wins, gang, small wins.

...that each intelligent voter should focus on policies rather than personalities. The dumbasses will vote for their favorite wrestler.

...that the ever present fear of AI can only be overcome by Taylor Swift getting mad that after a billion photos of her online were manipulated to create fake porn. AI had no idea what a quagmire it entered on this one.

...that passion and art can be found anywhere as long as there are people willing to create things out of a sense of joy, curiosity, and obsession. Don’t believe me? Go to a car show in Central Kansas and talk to anyone who has spent years building out a pristine 1926 Ford Roadster.

...that the definition of what is and is not cool is pretty simple. Anyone desperately seeking popularity or approval? Not cool. Anyone disapproved by a lot of other people? Cool.

...that polyamory is simply people without the ability to commit to an arrangement more important than individual desire. The most polyamorous creature on the planet is a mutt that humps everything from other dogs to human legs to Amazon boxes.

...that, if Santa were actually real, he’d have a hard time wrapping both a Trump conviction and a Trump presidency for the population of the US. If he’s real, he might be able to pull it off, though.

...that anytime anyone demands you answer a ‘yes or no’ question, it’s a trap.

...that Elon Musk decided to destroy the thing he was forced to buy.