Don Hall 3/16/20 Don Hall 3/16/20

I Believe… [Toilet Paper? Really?]

I believe… that buying toilet paper in bulk during a health crisis may be just shy of buying duct tape in bulk prior to Y2K in complete kneejerk stupidity. It’s like people hoarding air fresheners in prep for a hurricane.

Don Hall 3/9/20 Don Hall 3/9/20

I Believe… [Geriatric Politics]

I believe… that the presidential race will look like two old men fighting over a parking spot for their matching Mercedes. The undercard should be Nancy Pelosi and Judge Judy wrestling in the grocery store over the last jar of pickles.

Don Hall 3/2/20 Don Hall 3/2/20

I Believe… [Thanks, Harvey!]

…that all of the Oscar winners who effusively thanked Harvey Weinstein publicly for his contribution to their success will unlikely be visiting him prison. Wonder what they’ll do with the statues?

Don Hall 2/24/20 Don Hall 2/24/20

I Believe… [Disneyland is What We All Need for a Moment]

I believe… that all it takes to shake off the calcified crust of living in a world of horrors is a day at Disneyland and a belief that despite our flaws there can and should be joy.

Don Hall 2/17/20 Don Hall 2/17/20

I Believe [Gaslighting Johnny Depp]

…that while not a definitive rebuke to #MeToo, if you believed Amber Heard’s accusations against Johnny Depp, you got played by an asshole using a movement for her own personal gain.

Don Hall 2/10/20 Don Hall 2/10/20

I Believe… [A Lightly Worn Hat]

…that like a character in an improvised scene, a job should be treated like a lightly worn hat, instantly removed to reveal the true self whenever necessary.

Don Hall 2/3/20 Don Hall 2/3/20

I Believe… [Booooooooobs….]

…that there is a disconnect between the culture of #MeToo and the culture of bikini model influencers and I’d elucidate but my brain is addled by all the boooooooobs…

Don Hall 1/27/20 Don Hall 1/27/20

I Believe… [The Social Media Blackout AI]

I believe… that Facebook and Twitter should have an AI that prevents the posting of false information, rebukes bullying of any sort, and immediately deletes complaints of persecution. In an instant social media would be rid of Trump, Fox News, twenty-year-old women of all races, and the Woke.

Don Hall 1/20/20 Don Hall 1/20/20

I Believe… [How Many Passwords Must I Remember?]

…that if Windows was a more secure platform you wouldn’t have to change your fucking work passwords so goddamned often.

Don Hall 1/13/20 Don Hall 1/13/20

I Believe… [Both Can Be Right]

…that Soleimani was a terrorist monster who deserved to be killed and Trumpenstein is a horrible man deserving of impeachment and removal from office. Both can be true so quit bending yourself into pretzels in existential crisis.

Don Hall 1/6/20 Don Hall 1/6/20

I Believe… [The Ladder of Secular Religiosity]

I believe… that if you believe it is the System fueled by Evil Other People that is the cause for your lousy lot in life you have started on the first rung of the Ladder of Secular Religiosity. Until you realize the System is you and your myriad of interconnected choices, get ready for the zealotry ride of your life.

Don Hall 12/30/19 Don Hall 12/30/19

I Believe… [Screaming at Spiders Doesn’t Get Them Out of the House]

I believe… that idealism and passion aren’t solutions. Without them, solutions cannot be created but alone they represent the kind of pointless emotional response that screaming at a spider does.

Don Hall 12/23/19 Don Hall 12/23/19

I Believe… [Christmas 2019]

I believe… that the older you get, the less you want (unless it’s pharmaceuticals and sleep and then you want it all). Do your AARP family member a solid and gift them generic drugs from Canada and room for a lot of naps this holiday season.

Don Hall 12/16/19 Don Hall 12/16/19

I Believe… [“Tell Your Truth” To Avoid “Telling THE Truth”]

…that “telling your truth” is merely giving your opinion with the safeguard of eliminating any challenge to it.

Don Hall 12/9/19 Don Hall 12/9/19

I Believe… [The Difference Between ‘Normal’ and ‘Ordinary’]

I believe… that cisgender is not a synonym for normal but a synonym for ordinary. Thus, those outside of the ordinary are naturally extraordinary rather than abnormal. Reframe things and we all win.

Don Hall 12/2/19 Don Hall 12/2/19

I Believe… [Chaos Is Less Fun Than Revolution]

…that those who seek revolution would be wise to have some sort of vision of what will take the place of the system destroyed. Without that vision, the house burns down and chaos reigns. Sounds good until you have to face chaos.

Don Hall 11/25/19 Don Hall 11/25/19

I Believe… [The Great Human Leveler]

…that without regard for political ideology, activist dogma, religious belief or sexual identity, we are all leveled human by the flu.

Don Hall 11/18/19 Don Hall 11/18/19

I Believe... [No New Pants]

…that I no longer care so much about my diet or exercise so much as I just don’t want to have to buy new pants.

Don Hall 11/11/19 Don Hall 11/11/19

I Believe… [Fostering Change Isn’t a Demand]

…that you can inspire someone to change. You can educate someone toward change. You can support someone as they change. You cannot make someone change, and all your efforts to do so, being met with failure, are the cause of your great outrage.

Don Hall 11/4/19 Don Hall 11/4/19

I Believe… [Basic, Average White Guy]

…that when people tell you you look like Al Franken, Brad Pitt, Tim Allen, John Ham’s drunk cousin, and John Wick (Keanu Reeves), it is established fact that you are the most basic, average looking white guy on the Strip.