I Believe… [The Great Human Leveler]
…that the people who troll police on video by claiming traffic stops violate their Fourth Amendment Rights are the least effective and most annoying of any sort of Resistance in existence. I imagine that the Founders had better things in mind for the Constitution than being quoted to defend your right to drive an unregistered vehicle.
…that without regard for political ideology, activist dogma, religious belief or sexual identity, we are all leveled human by the flu.
…that in the bloodlust of impeachment, it seems a bit odd that I haven’t heard a single word about kids in cages on the Texas border since, like, July. Did they let them out already or did we all just collectively move on? And what does it say about us if those kids are still in cages and we forgot about them?
…that I am completely American in this moment as I have reserved my shade and condescension for everyone not me. If you’re not me, you’re a Boomer/Woke/Millennial/Gen Z moron and, if you’re me, why, you’re me!
…that if you want to lose weight, eat less food. That’s fucking it. No supplements, no excuses, no bullshit. Eat. Less. Food. Thanks. You now owe me all that money you spent on Garbancia Cambodia or whatever fucking belly fat loss pill you just bought on Amazon.
