...that it is no tiny thing to be able to fly without having to take your shoes off. You know, the Yin Yang effect of Trump is dizzying… ICE versus easier TSA lines? I dunno…

...that my new, best pickup line is the most honest: “Hi. You seem to be exactly someone who will ruin my life in a spectacular fashion. Wanna go get a drink?”

...that, at a certain age, a birthday is no longer a celebration of your existence but another notch in the ‘Fuck off, Death’ belt.

...that, as we age, good footwear is more important than a girlfriend.

The third of a series is out and ready to read!

...that the real lessons of history are almost always ignored because they require humility instead of outrage.

...that a haircut, a good book, and a pair of shoes that really fit are the luxuries of the lower middle class.

...that ‘grace under pressure’ isn’t the same thing as ‘competence in a crisis.’

...that the act of taking photos of yourself is the height of vapid stupidity and unchecked vanity. I wanna see a picture someone else took of you looking like a fresh bag of shit. Then I can know who you are.

…that until organizations realize that treating adults like wayward children destroys morale, creativity, and basic human joy, the micromanager will continue to loom—hovering, nitpicking, doubting, draining, controlling—like the world’s least charismatic supervillain.