I Believe... [In Colonizers]
...that, speaking of colonizers, I’d have to say I’m basically in favor of the endeavor. Without the successful colonizers (because every single ethnicity has attempted colonizing their neighbors) no one in America would have the opportunity to get a meaningless degree in Post-Modern Politic Theory or Gender Studies while making Tik Toks on their pocket-sized super computers in their air-conditioned homes with running water.
Why Older Men Date Younger Women: A Defense of DiCaprio
Seriously, have you met women in their forties and fifties?
The Life of a Peripheral Character
The burning question I've been circling around like toilet water swirling around a turd that simply won't flush is what, exactly, is the point of my continued presence on the planet?
I Believe... [The Hypocrisy of Online Activism]
...that if you are really pissed about capitalism as a system yet are reading this online on a computer or smartphone requiring WiFi, you’re a full of shit. That goes for anyone “protesting” capitalism on Twitter or Tik Tok.
In Search of... A Circus Gig?
So many people get stuck—in dead end careers, in cities that suck the life out of them, in stagnant, painful marriages—and I’m the exact opposite of stuck. I’ve become unmoored, set adrift, with no defined direction to sail. I’ve been discarded before I need any replacement parts. Hell, I could join the circus if I wanted to.
I Believe... [The MCU is NOT a Rorschach]
...that assigning cultural importance to She-Hulk: Attorney at Law is ridiculous. It’s a television show about a fictional character based on a comic book. Reading heavy feminist agenda into it is like trying to find white supremacy in the requirement to be on time at work.
I Had My Vision Quest in a One Bedroom Apartment
I can't confess to having any in-depth answers to any of it but I can confide that the walkabout within the confines of this one bedroom has certainly provided some insight. One might call it spiritual power. Others might label it self reflective therapy. What the hell do I know?
[From the Archives] Changing Up the Routine: Acknowledging the Inevitable Tsunami
It takes 33 pounds of pressure and five minutes to strangle the life out of a grown human. It takes far less to strangle their aspirations of meaning and even less to simply boot-grind the breath out of their dreams for more than trading life for money for security.
The Coming Downfall of Pocket Technology and the Saving of Humanity
We are addicted. We are exactly where they want us.
I Believe... [Tantrum Protocol]
...that yelling over someone because you either want to make your point or because you want to shout down someone else trying to make a point is the behavior of the kind of kid I want to beat in public.
The Rise and Fall of Boutique Causes
"You can get a pair of slippers or you can carpet the world."
Muscling Past the Pain to Get to the Other Side
Muscling through the pain has a price. The pain finds a way to express itself like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park find a way to terrorize Jeff Goldblum.
I Believe... [Tug of War]
...that progress is not a sprint. It isn’t a marathon. It’s a tug of war and it is gained in inches.
The Archeology of a Life
"It is only with greatest care that memory can be kept from becoming a prison or a gallows." — The Orville
The Absence of Joy and Resilience
When your joy comes from joining the beatdown of another human being, it's a dirty kind of glee. If the pain of others gets you off, you're a bully and a stain on the rest of us. If you live by that particular sword, you'll die by the same sword. You suffer from an absence of joy and resilience.
I Believe... [Who I Am]
...that I’m the Christopher Columbus of dairy—I discover bricks of cheese, claim them as my own, subjugate the slices, and conquer them.
I Believe... [Jake & Harry's Tap]
...that when you name one son Harry and the other son Jake, you better be investing in a bar for them instead of college.
And the Polling Tells Us...
66% of Americans believe that President Biden is failing.
50% of Americans believe that trans issues are being exaggerated.
100% of Americans believe that New York pizza is the best pizza.
33% of Americans believe that diversity in the workplace is important.
40% of Americans believe that reading comprehension is overrated.
The Personal Grievances That Fuel Ideology
So, I asked myself "When did I become a Nazi?"
I Believe... [The Mobius Strip of Trauma]
...that your trauma doesn’t make a good excuse for your poor behavior. No trauma in existence requires you behave like a screaming child yet enduring an adult screaming like a child can be traumatic. Like a Mobius strip of trauma.
...that when meteors start crashing through roofs in Texas in bursts maybe we’re finally beginning to live in a Michael Bay world.