All in Minutes of Our Last Mtg
Then take my body and put me behind the wheel of a golf cart strapped to a rocket ship and have the Space Force blast me to the stars.
Trump: Remember last week when everyone was freaking out about me saying n*gg*r on a tape somewhere?
Kelly: Every week makes me nostalgic for the week before.
Trump: I just want to go on record and say that I have never said the word n#gg#r.
Q says Tom Hanks is a pedo. Tom Hanks! That explains the sex scene in Big. And the sex scene that got cut in Turner and Hooch.
There are no atheist’s in a fox’s hole.
Bongo: When I bite him, he thinks I’m being playful. Maybe I need to chew through the bone next time.
Putin: Mr. Putin? Mr. Putin is the father I had killed for speaking out against my regime. Call me Vlad. We are friends.
“There are people in heaven who don’t belong here? That explains that a-hole on the escalator who spent the whole time not moving, looking at his phone. There was no room to move around him. I cleared my throat several times. He needs to go back to where he came from.”
Well, we’re about to open the doors and let people in. I’m in charge of checking IDs and making sure everyone is from Ottawa County and a US citizen. If you ain’t from here, you’re not welcome. At The Ottawa County Senior Community Center, we’re all about the red, white and blue flag. This is America. Not Russia.
Meg – If a bear cub and a moth can be cuddle buddies, then so can a privileged white woman and a black man at a barbeque.
Our mission is to avoid strange new worlds. To seek out new sources of income. To boldly stay great.
Phil the Translator: Anything for you, President Trump. Our glorious dictator appreciates you treating him like an equal. You know he has killed people, right? A general who fell asleep during a meeting. Even members of his own family who didn’t agree with him.
Jack: I don’t hate gay people. I just, as per my religion, don’t think they should marry. I have no problem with gay people being gay and doing lots of things that normal people do. It’s like when a monkey wears a hat and pretends to be talking and acting like a human. I think it’s cute. But I also don’t think monkeys should marry.
Our hashtag #Ambien is trending. That hasn’t happened in forever. Even when the whole department did the ALS challenge while on Ambien.