Elizabeth Harper 7/15/26 Elizabeth Harper 7/15/26

My Best Drinking Buddies Have Joined AA

My best drinking buddies have joined AA,
given up the bottle, sobered up, gotten on the wagon
without falling off.

Contributing Writer 7/15/26 Contributing Writer 7/15/26

Las Vegas Tour Company

on the corner
of Casino Center and Colorado with the studded thongs and the leashes around their slim necks and those high- waisted hot-pants hiked up to that sinched waist terrified by the possibility of beauty, while forgetting what
it might
be
...slowly
losing
life

Don Hall 7/15/26 Don Hall 7/15/26

Problematic Movies of the '80s | Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

I find myself bemused and slightly embarrassed that in my years of most physically viable my choices were so directly motivated by my cock.

Paul Teodo 7/15/26 Paul Teodo 7/15/26

Blink

He blinked again. His cheek no longer soothed by the wooden floor beneath it. A wisp of intrusive dust drifted towards him, settling on his lashes. A laborious blink, his only remedy, then another, the particle unmoving.

David Himmel 7/15/26 David Himmel 7/15/26

Conversations with Whores

Old men with cheap cigars talking to half naked women, who can’t waste too much time with one guy because it’s all about turnover. Beyoncé was playing on the jukebox and it sounded out of place. Hip-Hop didn’t belong there. It was too cool for what was really going on.

Erik Lewin 7/15/26 Erik Lewin 7/15/26

Making an Impression at Club Med

Benny was a degenerate troublemaker, so we got along very well. When adults marry, they say they found the one. To a teenage boy, the one is the friend who teaches you how to spank the monkey.

Wayne Lerner 7/15/26 Wayne Lerner 7/15/26

The First Time

“Let’s just say, doing it for the first time on the soft sand with music playing, the sound of the waves in the background and the helping hand of wine and smokes, made for an evening I’ll never forget.”

David Himmel 7/15/26 David Himmel 7/15/26

Hagatha the Dog Witch

Hagatha, upon arriving in Chicago, had developed an allergy to cats. She tried Zyrtec, Claritin and Allegra, and all the potions and spells in her Witch Craft: Curses & Remedies book. Nothing helped. Her eyes watered, which made her face melt a little.

Jenni Thurston 7/15/26 Jenni Thurston 7/15/26

Roses of Aphrodite

She had the admiration of the gods and mortals alike. But the thorns of the rose were in her heart, and she longed for someone to remove them.

Don Hall 7/14/26 Don Hall 7/14/26

Grizzly

He lied there, the beast breathing slowly, and wondered what happened? Where was his wife? Did she do this to him? Why?

Joe Mallon 7/14/26 Joe Mallon 7/14/26

Jackie Walsh

From the porch, the two men listened to the thundering bass of rumbling trucks on journeys north and south along the Dan Ryan Expressway. To the west, Halsted teased out the melodies of car horns beeping and tires squealing, a harsh cacophony of symphonic summer street noises.

They smoked their tobacco.

Elizabeth Harper 7/14/26 Elizabeth Harper 7/14/26

Cruelest Curse

Don Hall 7/13/26 Don Hall 7/13/26

I Believe… [Pay Attention to the Pause]

...that life has no rewind button but it has a pause button if you’re paying attention.

David Himmel 7/10/26 David Himmel 7/10/26

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 5, 2026

It’s hard not to think that Swifties are secretly rooting for a divorce within seven years. Think of how incredibly mediocre that album will be.

Don Hall 7/6/26 Don Hall 7/6/26

I Believe… [Prioritize Outcome]

...that the question “What do I want my life to look like in my sixth decade?” is more important than the search for money, notoriety, or achievement. Deprioritize income and focus on outcome.