The Inevitable Clash: Finally Accountability or Another Empty Sandwich?
Trump is Lucy Van Pelt. We are all Charlie Brown. We're never kicking that fucking football, kids.
I Believe... [Examining the Self]
...that the unexamined life is not worth living (Socrates). The over-examined life is just a drag.
The Loyalty Economy
The Law of Diminishing Returns predicts that as more of our environment is designed to sell us things the less effective each campaign becomes.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 4, 2023
I have a closet full of luggage stuffed with grudges. But I’m such a fantastic packer that the grudges don’t weigh me down or hold me up, and there’s always room for more.
News for YOU Headlines
The World Is Burning, Stock Up On Booze
I Believe... [Misunderstanding the Term]
...that most people out in the world have wildly misinterpreted what the word ‘community’ means.
The Insurance Man
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 28, 2023
Great advice from my wife when dealing with a child when they’re being the worst goddamn thing on the planet: They’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. It’s great perspective. And, yes, sometimes I listen to my wife.
THE TRUMP BAROMETER - Measuring the GOP Presidential Candidates
I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot a baby and wouldn’t lose any of my supporters.
Surrounded by Nonsense When the Guillotine Falls from the Sky
The chance than if a plate glass window sliced my head off most days, I’d be thinking about Trump maybe being re-elected or Identity Politics or #MeToo or the coming disaster of our crumbling climate.
I Believe... [Deserve Has Nothing to Do With It]
...that the answer to the question “What did I do to deserve this?” is “You lived long enough to endure it.” Any other answer is a fairy tale or self flaggelation.
On Turning 44 | It’s Time to Grow Up
So tonight, at the time of this writing, I am two hours shy of my forty-fourth birthday and I’m going to dip into the past just a bit, just to the last year, to consider what I’ve learned. And then I’m going to close the door. But before I do, I’ll make sure it’s unlocked and the windows to the past are well Windexed, so that I don’t forget the lessons—all of them—and where I came from and who that boy was and continued to be.
The End of Smartphone Camera Justice
The only defense is to simply disbelieve all of it which leaves us all wandering in a wasteland of zombie information crawling slowly to eat our brains.
Florida to Ban the Printed Word
This announcement will only be on TV and radio, right?
SWEAT
Sweat isn’t a lollipop or a bag of money. Sweat may not be as pretty or fun as shivering. But sweat is a necessary evil in most cases and a physical sign that you’re having sex correctly.
I Believe... [The Lie of Leftover Pizza]
...that no single person should ever order a large pizza with the intent of saving some for the next few days. It’s a lie you tell yourself and you will fall for it every time.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 14, 2023
Martha Stewart is coming for Betty White’s place as America’s favorite old white woman. Stewart is ahead because we don’t just to hang out with her, we want to bang her.
America, You Look Pretty Tonight by Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy
You’re the one making me do this. I love you.
The Broken Machine
Jack took a deep breath. "Why is it so easy for you to dismiss the truth for your convenience? You have to understand that the personal is political, right?
I Believe... [Dropping Names]
...that when confronted with a name-dropper, the best course of action is to counter-name drop fictional bands. “Yeah. I saw the Anal Beads in a dive bar before they became big! The lead singer of the Flaming Colonoscopy Bags once bought me a beer in between sets.”
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.