In Praise of Sensitivity Readers
The discourse of the sensitivity readers ultimately leads to an erasure of that history so that two generations from now, no one will even know how horrible writers, politicians, and scientists could be.
GOP To End School Shootings
America, we have a solution. Time to eliminate education.
I'm No More Anti-Woke Than I am Anti-Christian
If I don't believe in the thing you believe in, I'm not against it.
I Believe... [The Mind of March Madness]
...that anyone obsessed with March Madness basketball needs to back up a step when they judge me for digging comic book movies. We all go nuts for the things we loved as children.
Social Media is a Vampire
A vampire can't come into your home unless invited. We invite too many bloodsuckers into our living rooms and wonder why there are holes in our neck.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 19, 2023
What’s worse? The war in Ukraine or your hotel’s wifi? The right answer is not the popular one.
Grappling with What is Important: The World or the Personal?
The state of the climate with its ridiculous weather patterns and disastrous effects on everyone is a scud missile headed right now to destroy us all—not the planet but our continued ability to live upon it—but before I get into all that the tire light on my Prius is on and it's driving me nuts.
The Life's Not Fair Fair!
Guess your weight or age? Nope. We’re just going call you fat and old.
Common Sense Propositions to Move Progress Forward
If one side of the lunatic class can agree with one and the other side of the rabid mouth-framers can agree with the other, we call that compromise. Common ground.
I Believe... [To Don't List]
...that sometimes, in lieu of a To-Do list which is based on accomplishing things within the day, a To-Don’t list might be as helpful in avoiding the things that defeat us in small but significant ways.
The Boy From Clonakilty
All Ireland hated the Black and Tans and the cruelty they brought with them. But this lieutenant. The boy bore his own special hatred for reasons of his own.
He raised the Enfield, tucked it into his right shoulder. He adjusted the sights onto the officer for the shot, the bold shot he was about to take.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 12, 2023
It’s a terrible feeling knowing you cannot trust the person or people whose #1 job is to have your back. It’s an even worse feeling knowing you’d have theirs no matter what.
Republica-dabra! The Great DeSantis!
I have outlawed The Magic Kingdom. By law, they are now The Straight Kingdom in DeSantisland.
I Like to Watch | Oscars 95
What was different this time was I didn’t really care who won. For there to be a winner, there likewise must then be losers. Otherwise the prize has no meaning or value.
I Believe... [Unimpressive]
...that a man who is no longer looking for a romantic partner and isn’t seeking out new friends is the most free he will ever be as he no longer has anyone he needs to impress.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 5, 2023
When we almost die, we “cheat death.” It can also be said that when we die, we’ve “cheated life.”
Mistaken Ethnicity
My identity has been compromised. I can no longer legitimately call myself Irish. I’m fucking Welsh and I don’t even like rugby.
Actually, Let Me Explain International Women’s Day
Women already dominate all the holidays that involve buying something other than fireworks.
Memory is a T.J. Maxx
When she was seventy-three, Mom got arrested at a T.J. Maxx. They brought her to a little security office and laid out the charge: switching price tags, which she denied. "The tag came off! I was trying to fix it!"
I Believe... [Signed Copy, Plz]
...that the best reaction to the release of my latest book is “I’d like a signed copy. But not by you.”
Being an escort for me was like being a scrapbooker on Etsy for most other single moms trying to pick up some extra money. The only difference was that I could make a few thousand bucks for one hour of potential discomfort versus making a few hundred for several hours of suffering through handmade clip art. I’m a pretty open-minded person, but I cannot for one second believe that there is any joy in being hunched over a desk, cutting and pasting other people’s memories together. It seems so lonely and juvenile.