I Believe... [Santa Brought a Job]
...that the best Christmas gift I got in 2022 was a freaking job that included PTO and benefits. Hell, I might even be able to save some cash that won’t be stolen by an ex-wife in 2023.
Unforging Marley's Chain: The Enduring Affect We Have on the Lives of Others
I don't see myself in Scrooge much—not wealthy or particularly skin-flinty with dough—and I'm not Republican in any way yet I'm finding a bit more appreciation for Bill Clinton-style centrism. For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause.
Hey Joe!, Dear Don, …(and yeah, you too Vlad)
one idea that I had was to be in the spirit of Jesus (I know that Republicans say they like Jesus). And be like Bush. You know, George Bush used to have a saying, “I wonder what Jesus would do?" Me too. And I think that Jesus would try and love the fascists.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 18, 2022
Christmas always feels most magical when the man wearing an elf’s hat takes a leak in your CTA Blue Line car.
Santa's Gift
Ricky stood in the snow with one sneaker untied and his backpack hanging far too low on his back. His breath misted in the frigid December air. He shook, but not from the cold. His mother taught him to layer up, making it almost impossible to catch a chill.
No, his shivers were from fear. A fear he had every year. But this year was going to be different.
A Merry Christmas Punch/CounterPunch On the Sensitive Topic of One Mr. George Bailey, Part Two
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. It’s just so hard to argue something I no longer believe. Don Hall is right. George Bailey is not a good person. He never took a single step outside of Bedford Falls. His family lives in a drafty old house that he used to throw rocks at. He has a kid named Zuzu. Zuzu—short for Pazuzu, the demon from The Exorcist… I just, I can’t.
F@#&! - It’s Christmas! Give Yourself the Gift of TSA Pre-Check In
For $80, the TSA will trust you to not blow up or hijack any commercial airplanes.
A Merry Christmas Punch/CounterPunch On the Sensitive Topic of One Mr. George Bailey, Part One
But did that room full of people really know George Bailey? Did they fully grasp his horrible failure as a human being before throwing down the money he lost?
Who was George Bailey and why do we in the Age of Cancel Culture want to see him escape his tragic fall?
I Believe... [Trump Cards?]
...that $99 is a steal for a Donald Trump Official Digital Trading Card but the very person who would appreciate it most can’t work his phone and is still using a 2005 Dell desktop.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 11, 2022
More of those JFK files have been released. Still, a lot of CIA info remains redacted. They don’t want us to know their practices, which is fair. National security and all that. But, they also don’t want us to know how they killed him.
The Final Stage of Grief
Sunday, May 11, 2014 was the day things changed. All of the inspirational phrases, carefully set in creative fonts, became pronouncements of love.
Senator Kyrsten Sinema Switches Species
Arizona deserves a representative that speaks for them and is gelatinous.
When You Can't Tell the Difference Between Snake Oil and Hair Tonic
We are now in the Golden Age of the Grift.
I Believe... [Website Design is a Service]
...that if the government can compel a website designer to provide the service for a gay wedding, it can likewise compel another website designer to provide the service for a Neo-Nazi wedding and, in my opinion, it should in both cases.
Miss Emma
If he didn’t know better, he could have imagined himself a prisoner in his own car.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 4, 2022
Revolutions don’t die; people grow tired.
I Like to Watch | The Best and Worst of 2022
Doesn't Schrader know that there was a rogue wave that hit a cruise ship and pulled a woman overboard? Is he aware of the fact the democracy is ending... what? It didn't end? What the fuck?
I the People - Donald Trump's New Constitution
We will now say “Merry Christmas” after the pledge of allegiance.
Still Got It
Part of getting older is realizing that you are, in fact, older. And in many cases, we age out of our horned up youth into a relaxed state of domestication. But it’s naturally human to wonder if you still got it. If you’re still an object of interest—not affection—to the people you meet or even pass on the street or at Target on Sunday mornings.
Law School Might Have Been a Good Idea If Money Was the Object of My Dreams
I look around and one of the professions cleaning up is law. Lawyers are making serious bank on stupid lawsuits designed to appease the moral indignation of people looking to game the system by way of legislation.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.