The Archeology of a Life
"It is only with greatest care that memory can be kept from becoming a prison or a gallows." — The Orville
The Absence of Joy and Resilience
When your joy comes from joining the beatdown of another human being, it's a dirty kind of glee. If the pain of others gets you off, you're a bully and a stain on the rest of us. If you live by that particular sword, you'll die by the same sword. You suffer from an absence of joy and resilience.
I Believe... [Who I Am]
...that I’m the Christopher Columbus of dairy—I discover bricks of cheese, claim them as my own, subjugate the slices, and conquer them.
Lilacs And Eucalyptus - A Poem
Climbing into the new
years on the far side of
The numbering millennia
now feels all
tears-verses-orgasms.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 31, 2022
Letting your feelings guide you is a wonderful way to parent and a terrible way to influence other adults.
I Often Wonder
A year prior to my acquaintance with E, I had fallen in love with a girl whom I will refer to as J. She was a goddess and the first woman in our school to develop breasts–the primary source of my friends’ envy when I eventually began dating her.
HAPPY SLACKS for Women by Men
Keep your man happy with Happy Slacks.
I Believe... [Jake & Harry's Tap]
...that when you name one son Harry and the other son Jake, you better be investing in a bar for them instead of college.
Think About Flowers
THE WORLD IS AWFUL DON’T LOOK AT THE NEWS DON’T LOOK AT THE NEWS THINK ABOUT FLOWERS
And the Polling Tells Us...
66% of Americans believe that President Biden is failing.
50% of Americans believe that trans issues are being exaggerated.
100% of Americans believe that New York pizza is the best pizza.
33% of Americans believe that diversity in the workplace is important.
40% of Americans believe that reading comprehension is overrated.
The Personal Grievances That Fuel Ideology
So, I asked myself "When did I become a Nazi?"
U-R-US – Fetal Lawyers
Ask us about our class action suits for sperm.
I Believe... [The Mobius Strip of Trauma]
...that your trauma doesn’t make a good excuse for your poor behavior. No trauma in existence requires you behave like a screaming child yet enduring an adult screaming like a child can be traumatic. Like a Mobius strip of trauma.
Live Your Life as If It Were a Comedy
The world is ridiculous. My life is just as open to mockery. Maybe that's the trade-off. If I can find myself to be a legitimate source of comedy, I get a pass on finding everyone else as a source of hilarity.
I Like to Watch | Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
While the world may be oversaturated with too much MCU, I'm not. I am, however, thinking Waititi might need a break. He is almost the MCU Joel Schumacher.
Crisis Headlines Are Not Helping
Despite the desperate need to spin reality, perspective is essential to keep your head from exploding like that dude in Scanners. Perspective is about wondering what the headlines might look like from a different angle than your baked-in certitude of moral authority dictates.
I Believe... [No More High School Drama, PLZ]
I believe... that with the state of society in 2022, a moratorium on high school dramas is in order. I get all the bitchy, judgmental bullying I need in line at the grocery store.
Without Honors
It’d been 5 days since the assembly fuck-up. The house was like a morgue. Nobody’d talked to nobody. I worked as much overtime as they threw at me just to stay away.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 10, 2022
Poor Ivanka, Don Jr., and Eric Trump. The wrong parent died.
I Like to Watch | Elvis (2022)
Like The Greatest Showman—a movie musical that completely reframes the huckster P.T. Barnum into an equity-chasing social justice type—this is not intended to be an accurate biopic. It is a meditation on the legend that was Elvis Presley.
Jake and Caroline’s first date was at The Whistler. They talked about Ronnie, how much they loved The Diplomat, and debated the better ride-share service, Uber or Lyft. She was Uber, he was Lyft. They got wasted on Sazeracs and had sex at her apartment. It was incredible for both of them. Caroline stopped taking sex advice from Ronnie.